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GoddessDustyGold -> RE: I am a feminist. (2/3/2008 3:50:08 PM)
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quote:
First, let's start with some background and definitions. I was born in the early 60's. My mother always worked, but she was one of the rare ones. Most moms stayed home, most dads went to work. They never did housework, though lawnmowing was designated an acceptable guy task. At school, my teachers said, Oh, Francine, you're so smart, you should become a teacher when you grow up! Not a scientist, eh?
Well, I am going to pick out this part of your post because it is the one that hits home the most for Me.
Ya see, I wasn't raised that way. And I will say right now that I was born before you were. My father could cook and do the dishes and help with the laundry. My brother was given the same jobs as My sister and I. No differences. Except that heavy work not suited to (by virtue of weight and physical ability) us as young girls as well as a bit of extra leniency given during "that time of the month" was apportioned more logically. I am not saying it was apportioned based on "this is what a guy does, and this is what the girls do"...I am saying to was apportioned by the logical family dynamic of getting the job done most efficiently. They often vacuumed because the vacuum was heavier. They would carry the heavy bucket if the floor was being mopped. I am not just comparing indoor/outdoor stuff here. My brother took his turn cooking and cooks for his wife to this day. He is good at it and has no problem with it. (No D/s going on there...it is a very egalitarian relationship based upon frank open discussion, disagreemnts, and mutual respect.)
Perhaps I don't align Myself with the actual lable of feminist because I never had an attitude of needing to struggle to overcome any sense of discrimination. Not in school, not in jobs, not in any of My aspirations. I just never faced it.
Maybe that is testimony to the way I was raised. I may have developed an assumptive attitude that I had just as much right to this management job as the guy next to Me, and I never had a problem. I usually got the job. If I didn't I was philosophical about it and worked harder if I wanted the job. I never looked at any of the males I worked with and felt that they were less deserving than Me but got it because they were male. I certainly didn't want to get it because I was female. I always credited it to the common sensibility of the company that realized I could do the job better without regard to My gender. Or they could do the job better, but not because they were male.
Maybe I need to look back a bit more and be grateful that people were paving the way...but I was already in the midst of the business world when NOW was at it's height and they were marching for rights it never occurred to Me I didn't already have. And their bras. Frankly I needed Mine to give Me a better shape under My clothes so I couldn't get on board with that one. I didn't look at things like a bra as a restrictive piece of clothing I was being made to wear to keep Me in My place. I saw it as a reasonable undergarment that gave Me the support My physical body needed. *shrug*
When I did elect to stay home when I had My UM's (and I breastfed) I had absolutely no one to socialize with . All the others were working. And I moved into My Mother years in the 80's. So we are not talking about the beginning of the big wave of equal rights for women. It was already in full swing for 20 years or more. I credit the fact that My oldest was always 2 going on 30 as a result of the fact that she had no one to interact with but Me. I was looked down upon, as if I was betraying " the cause". Why wasn't I working? Why was I staying home with the little one? Wasn't I suffocating and dying? No I wasn't. It was My choice and it never occured to Me that I didn't have the right to make that choice.When the time came that I felt like I had to get back out there, I did. But I was a bit torn, and the company that wanted to hire Me was actually waiting for Me, on tenterhooks, while I was pretty much dictating how much time I needed to think about their offer.
I do believe that the concept has changed a bit and there is much more in the line of respecting and supporting a woman's choice to work or not to work, and to be able to choose the field she prefers. But I never like the pushing of "nursing bad...you should be a doctor". It only puts pressure on the woman (and men) who are happier in nursing.
I will finish this by saying that I was not sleeping a few nights ago and Leave it to Beaver was on TVL. I laughed when I saw the June actually did have an opinion and Ward listened to her. Yes she was wearing the obligatory skirt with the string of pearls complimenting the pretty apron. But I also saw the family interaction and the boys being told to set the table. It was in tune with a family working in tandem. Not one person doing certain jobs and the other being the absolute boss. I am not saying that some traditions didn't need to be broken, but I think that the mutual respect was already there in a lot of families, as depicted in that show from the 50's. And even with all that, we still have abusive relationships wherein we are shocked that the woman, in spite of the resources available, will remain in that abusive relationship. We cannot socially engineer these things. We need to have laws to monitor and punish abusive situations, but I believe it begins in the family dynamic and automatically spreads to the workplace and the next generations.
Perhaps NOW did move things along a little faster; however, I also believe they remain harmful in certain ways.
I define feminist (perhaps incorrectly) as one who is fighting for equal rights, for themselves as well as others of the same gender. It is hard for Me to fight for something that I never didn't have. I think it is an attitude and a hyper-sensitivity that causes misunderstandings and a feeling of inequality when none exists or it is easily remedied without crying "discrimination". But that is just My take on things.
Hope I have made a bit of sense here.
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