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both new - 2/3/2008 5:41:03 PM

brattybabe4u

Posts: 26
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

I experienced the lifestyle for about 2 yrs in a D/s relationship, but had great Dominant desires. I have met a wonderful man who has submissive desires...knowing some things from my D/s experience (yet still a novice) and knowing his desires (still novice) where do we go from here?.....how do we learn???.........we are both communicate well with each other....I am feeling pressured (in my own head) to provide D/s activity for him...he wants to be TAKEN.....strap ons especially...and voyeurism....I need help......I would love to do it....but not sure how!!!

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RE: both new - 2/3/2008 7:44:55 PM

MamaDomme1

Posts: 377
Joined: 1/12/2008
Status: offline

My advice-- lots and lots of lube. Start small and work up to larger toys. And join the local community and go to munches and play parties. Network with others.

If that fails, watch some porn showing such things that interest the both of you and copy it.

(in reply to brattybabe4u)

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RE: both new - 2/3/2008 11:01:38 PM

Aimtoplease101

Posts: 319
Joined: 2/8/2006
From: San Diego, California
Status: offline

Some decent femdom porn-- whether video or literature-- is probably a pretty good way to safely, and privately, survey some of the activities of the realm. With the internet these days, you can get it in the privacy of your home. Talk about the things you watch/ read about afterwards to find out what works for both of you.

Good luck-- ATP

_____________________________

Pleasing you pleases me.

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RE: both new - 2/3/2008 11:03:16 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

I wouldn't advice porn for anything. Then again, I don't watch/read it.

DV's Fox

< Message edited by Shawn1066 -- 2/3/2008 11:05:47 PM >

(in reply to Aimtoplease101)

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RE: both new - 2/3/2008 11:14:46 PM

liketophoto

Posts: 763
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline

We had some good training that was put on by some very experienced folks in the local community .
Check Your local community.
Most BDSM porn type stuff is pretty extreme take it with a grain of salt.

There is a wealth of knowlage here on collarme also, just beware. there is bad also.
Find a mentor. I have had a few and it helps alot!
Learning is a constant.
Be Safe
Respectfully, LTP

(in reply to brattybabe4u)

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RE: both new - 2/4/2008 7:45:10 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Shawn1066

I wouldn't advice porn for anything. Then again, I don't watch/read it.

DV's Fox

Ever hear someone say that the movie was good, but the book was better?

Yeah, it's kind of like that.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Shawn1066)

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RE: both new - 2/4/2008 12:54:47 PM

suessub

Posts: 71
Joined: 1/18/2008
Status: offline

A bit a male sub point of view for you. Separate talking about what you two would like to do from doing it. Have conversations about what you two liked/would like after you play. This will help keep you from acting out his fantasies, but let you know what he likes. Put a night's sleep between your submissive telling you what he wants and even the possibility of him getting it. I say this having spent too long not knowing this advice. It took my Mistress and myself some time to understand my being a good communicator at all times was robbing her of the chance to really take charge. Nowadays, unless directly asked, if I have something to suggest or share, I put it in an email to her. This way she can process it at her leisure.

When you feel tired and drained from "provid[ing] D/s activity for him", have him give you a long bath and even longer massage. He's your sub, take full advantage of it. And don't even think about returning the favor. It isn't a favor, it is his duty. It may help you start getting the "(in your head) pressure to provide for him" out. He will be happier as your thoughts start to focus on your needs and wants and he can find his place in submission to them. Bathtime also becomes a nice time to have discussions about what you two like.

Most importantly, have fun and try new things. My two favorite activities these days are two that when I first heard about them, I said "No way in hell!" You never know.

(in reply to brattybabe4u)

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