AAkasha -> RE: What you sub does for you (2/4/2008 1:24:33 PM)
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My sub - well, my husband, who also plays that role - does too much for me, I've come to realize. At some point there's a question of how much you come to rely on someone when he's so proactive that things just get handled. On one hand, this is an absolute joy - nowadays, most things are handled before they ever become an issue, and my needs/wants are addressed before I even verbalize them. I give very little instruction. He is attentive and thinks three steps ahead of me in just about every facet of my life, from managing the calendar to cooking the meals and buying things when I need them. Why would this be a problem? The question is - how healthy is it to become reliant this way? It never really was an issue when he was home, or working next to me, 24/7. But I realize how much I rely on him when he's out of the picture - even for a short period of time. He took up a small, part-time "job" to advance in a hobby he enjoys, for a few months, as an experiment. My productivity dipped considerably in his absence, but more annoying was how much I realized I *rely* on him. Frustrations like not knowing where things are stored to forgetting to prepare lunch to going to the post office became annoyances. It left me feeling a bit ambivalent -- either I need to take back control and be more empowered by not letting him to do so much for me, or I have to accept that I have grown to expect that kind of superior service -- 24/7. I won't even go into what impact it had on our sex life, this whole "job" experiment (hahah) but suffice to say he's not working part time much longer. Akasha
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