RE: Genders, Dominance, and War

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RE: Genders, Dominance, and War - 2/4/2008 1:56:59 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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No not all women are dominant just as not all males are, it is very individual. I know a few women who are dominant and recognize it, others seem to be dominant but have no idea that they are, they just know they want to make the decisions. I know some women who pretend to be submissive because they feel it is expected of them by men and society, they do it to "get a guy".

I also know some men who try to act dominant but truly are not and as a result are not happy with their lives..
As I always say just be who you truly are and be happy, no one should really care what other people think as our lives are our own and we have to live them.

As for dating I'm a hunter by nature, if I see something that I want I will go after it. If there is interest I may pursue it if not no biggie someone else will come along later. I don't mind being chased as long as there is some attraction on my end and of course they have to accept the fact that I will calling the shots.

~Lashra

< Message edited by Lashra -- 2/4/2008 2:00:00 PM >

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“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to Stephann)

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RE: Genders, Dominance, and War - 2/4/2008 2:00:55 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
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In a serious and honest assessment of myself, I would say I am someone who knows how to get a woman who is interested in me, but not so much that I have a regular flock of woman giving me courting signals.

I agree with Stephann's points. Confidence is where it's at and a sheltering of interest. Coming off like a love sick puppy just doesn't work.

I'm of the opinion that it is the woman who first shows interest in the man through body language I'm generally a highly intuitive and perpective person so knowing who is interested and who isn't comes pretty naturally for me.

I don't chase girls. I consider it to be a waste of time for the reasons mentioned above. I have no intentions of being a slave for pussy. If I stumble across someone in the course of life and there is mutual interest, I will gladly talk to her. However, if at the very least, the body language isn't present, I won't even bother. It's just a waste of my time.

I tend to rarely ever approach a woman at bar since life experience has taught me that it usually leads to nothing but trouble.

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RE: Genders, Dominance, and War - 2/4/2008 3:33:04 PM

sirguym

Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
flip it around ... i spend my days being highly Dominant, I am good at my job because I control the flow of power, my career depends on me maintaing the balance of power always in my favour ...

now am i like that just to survive? .. or is my homelife submission just a counter balance to my worklifeDominance? ... which is the true me?

because they are *both* me ... neither one of them is a front or a cover or a mask for the other ... just as those "seemingly" Dominant men in the workplace may lick their Mistresses boots ... I control a roomful of people with a flick of my eyebrow .. and two hours later beg to be granted a dog bowl for my dinner

I believe that is absolutely the key to reconciling my position and Stephann's. I do not believe there is a real contradiction between the two of us.

We all seek a balance in our lives, and for some that means going ultra-Dom in public, and ultra-sub in private; or vice versa.

(By no means all, of course.)

But it explains why I can see apparent submissives in a majority at eg Night Of The Cane, a fairly serious corporal punishment event; but most male Councillors in the bear-pit of a debating chamber when I was in politics being apparently Dom.

I tend to think, living in the lifestyle, that their behaviour in the scene club is the 'true' nature. But I am also willing to take seriously anybody who suggests that if you took the pressure off the public Dom/private sub so that they could be sub in public without penalty, that they'd spring back and go all Dom in private ...

(in reply to softness)

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RE: Genders, Dominance, and War - 2/4/2008 3:58:15 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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My man patiently sat on the sidelines for months- available, but not pushing, open but not pressing. His patience finally won out over my blind ignorance (I'm a slow learner at the whole "supportive caring type" thing) and I'd put him above any grand casa nova any day.

It doesn't matter who seduces who, we all have to say yes in the end. If you have a style you prefer, that's great, but no one should mistake that for some position of power or authority towards another.

I don't care if someone can seduce, I care if they can maintain a solid secure adult relationship.

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Post #: 24