sad girl

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

sad girl

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> sad girl

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

sad girl - 2/4/2008 12:43:26 PM

ladyeleanor

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

Ok, I have never posted a thread before, I hope this os ok but I just feel like I really need some outside feedback on my situation right now...
I have a daddy. We mainly chat on MSN because he lives a bit of a way away, not too far but far enough to prevent meeting that often. We met last year and it was so good and I was really happy. Then, although we kept talking on a regular basis, he never really mentioned meeting up again. He often says he would like to see me and all that, but has never actually arranged anything. So I veeeeeery tentativley asked when I could see him again, and we arranged another meet up. So I was so excited, I bought new knix and everything, and on the day in question I spent hours (and I mean hours- its like a farm going to harvest) getting ready. Then I checked my emails...he couldn't make it.
His reason was fair enough but at the time I was so dissapointed and upset I wrote a rather cranky email, saying how upset and hurt I was. I suppose I was more angry at the situation rather than at him, but still. Then I swanned out of the house. Couple of hours and some car kareoke later, I realised that maybe I had overeacted. He had written back, stating that he was sorry I was so upset but there was nothing he could do and was really nice about it. I wrote again saying how sorry I was, and then the wait began because he had gone away for the weekend. Cue 48 odd hours of crying, feeling like shit, panicking that he would leave me, generally feeling very low indeed. So then this morning he wrote again, saying yes he was angry with me and he would not forget and further outbursts would not be tolerated. I thanked him for his patience and we talked tonight and I don't think he is mad at me any more.
But here is the thing. I am well and truly shocked at how bad this whole thing has made me feel. I have been weepy, moody, and more low than I have been in years over this. And I don't know if I can handle that, I don't know if I can take that level of dependancy. I can't bear the thought of him not being in my life but I am pretty damn terrified and I don't know what to do. So my (very long winded) question for you kind people is will I get used to this? Has anyone else felt this way at first? How did you get past it? Thanks in advance to anyone who responds xxx

Post #: 1

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 12:46:24 PM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I would suggest an open, no holds barred, discussion of the subject with him. Explain your feelings and work with him to find a solution that works for both of you.

Communicate, communicate, communicate.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to ladyeleanor)

Post #: 2

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 12:48:11 PM

MollyTroubletail

Posts: 44
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline

Eleanor I know some people can have long-distance relationships and others just can't. I'm one of the ones who are like you: I would cry and rant and feel guilty and go around and around in circles, if I were to have no access to my master for days on end. I wouldn't have any peace of mind or spirit. Perhaps it's time to take that hard look at your needs, his needs, and if or how both needs can be met in this relationship.

(in reply to ladyeleanor)

Post #: 3

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 12:55:45 PM

greyangelus

Posts: 192
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline

I'll second what Molly said: Some people can have a good LDR, but other just ain't cut out for it.

(in reply to MollyTroubletail)

Post #: 4

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 12:57:04 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

If he wanted to meet with you again, he would. He would be the one trying to set up a meet.

You're being strung along. You're upset because you have the semblance of a relationship but it is lacking in what you need.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to MollyTroubletail)

Post #: 5

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 1:06:29 PM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

I tend to agree with both views here.
First of all, my experience tells me he is stringing you along. Period.
He was important enough to you to spend all day getting ready.
By your description, he doesn't seem to appear to be making you a priority at all.
Is this guy married? (hmmmmmmm)
And, Im wondering, what is going on in your life that you are so isolated from a support system that only a person on MSN is fulfilling your needs as a human being. You know, the "human touch" is something we all need from time to time.
Some can do long distance. However, most that I know that do it have other things going on in their lives to fulfill their needs. A support system if not vanilla dating.
My only suggestion is to review "yourself" and what you want and need from a Dominant. Then, decide if that is what you are getting. And, if not, ask yourself why you aren't making sure you are making the right choices for yourself.

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 6

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 1:09:35 PM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

You meet the man ONCE in person and you are this upset over him. Maybe it's time to think a little over the amount of emotion you put into someone that you have only meet once.

Mike

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 7

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 1:12:02 PM

TracyTaken

Posts: 615
Joined: 2/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

You're being strung along.

That was my thought too while reading the OP. If it was happening to me, I'd be having thoughts along the lines of "What's really going on here?"

If it turns out that he is not the right one, someone else will be.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 8

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 1:22:47 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

There is a poster with a really great signature line. I forget who but I always remember it in my dealings now.

"Dont make someone a priority that has you as an Option"

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to TracyTaken)

Post #: 9

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 1:24:05 PM

MissHarlet

Posts: 2728
Joined: 9/11/2005
From: El Paso , TX US
Status: offline

SwtnSparkling has that Signature line and it is a good one.

_____________________________

Protectress of hearts/souls of all submissives calling Bounty's Place home, by order of Bounty~Proprietor

To be respected you must be respectful, to be loved you must be willing to love,
to be trusted you must be willing to trust.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 10

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 1:25:46 PM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissHarlet

SwtnSparkling has that Signature line and it is a good one.

words to live by I'd say.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to MissHarlet)

Post #: 11

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 1:44:19 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

you were excited about seeing him .. as any girl would be .. you had built the meeting up .. gotten yourself ready .. and then at the last minute it had been cancelled ... you were angry/upset .. told him so then went and cooled off ... later you alked .. came to an undertsanding of sorts but he then went out of contact for the weekend when you were still feeling fragile ... and he ahs a go at you for over reacting

a) he should have given you more warning of a cancellation ... leaving it that close .. smacks of a lame excuse or a lie especially taking his otehr behaviour into account
b) not anticipating that you would be devastated means he is either a numpty (bad) or doesn't care about you (worse) or intentionally set you up to fail (intolerable)
c) thinking that you would be then content with him not contacting you all weekend when you are already fragile .. well .. see above

my opinion ... get rid honey ... there are so many wonderful men in our lifestyle .. dont waste yourself on him

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 12

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 1:46:06 PM

ladyeleanor

Posts: 10
Joined: 11/9/2007
Status: offline

Thank you all for your responses, looks like I need to have a bit of a think. xxx

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 13

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 1:46:19 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
Status: offline

You met once a year ago, you're the one who mentioned meeting this time and something "came up" at the last possible second, after you spent hours getting ready. Hm.

I'd be hurt and pissed and all of that, and it would be compounded by his reaction of anger. It would also make me feel like something was up (and it most likely something is up, although what it might be no one but he can say with certainty).

If I were you, as hard as it might be, I would extricate myself from this person who obviously has reasons for not meeting. He may have feelings for you but his life situation doesn't leave room for you. This is an oversimplified generalization, yes, but it's walking and quacking so it's most likely one of those pesky ducks.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 14

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 1:51:54 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I'm going to have to chime in with the masses. My first thought was, "he's just not that into you." If I'm interested in somebody, I want to see them. There would need to be a definite plan in there, even if it was something like every other month if it's within driving distance, and a bit longer if it involves big bucks for the travel.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to batshalom)

Post #: 15

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 2:02:19 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

My two questions: Is this healthy for you? Are you fulfilled in this relationship? If not, might be time to look for someone who is physically and emotionally available to/for you. If so, you need to talk to him about your needs. How many times a month/year do you need to meet in order to be happy and fulfilled? If he can't commit AND follow through with that, he's not the one for you.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to ladyeleanor)

Post #: 16

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 3:33:55 PM

Littlepita

Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline

Listen to Master Fire.

My reaction to reading your post was that he sure doesn't sound like a Daddy to me. Find someone who will give you bliss and not tears of sorrow. *hugs*

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 17

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 3:42:35 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

There is a poster with a really great signature line. I forget who but I always remember it in my dealings now.

"Dont make someone a priority that has you as an Option"

Great quote, definitely worth listening to and the quote was originally by sentimentalink. Others take lines and add them to their sigs.

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

Post #: 18

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 3:49:57 PM

parttimehotty

Posts: 4002
Joined: 11/19/2007
From: Virginville
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirMIkeSD

You meet the man ONCE in person and you are this upset over him. Maybe it's time to think a little over the amount of emotion you put into someone that you have only meet once.

Mike

That's what i was thinking, SirMikdSD.
To the OP, why would you become this upset after only 1 meeting? Are you this emotionally clingy all the time? Talk to me on the other side if you want to chat further.

_____________________________

Resident Virgin
Official Mommy of Jolly & Jilly

Nobody is 'dead' until nobody remembers them
http://www.chkittyclub.com/pages/home.html
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3&ThirdPartyClicks=ThankYouCar

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)

Post #: 19

RE: sad girl - 2/4/2008 4:43:32 PM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

His being angry at you for having been upset and disappointed does not seem reasonable coming from a Daddy...

I understand last minute things...car issues, illness, work or family emergencies can come up.

But everyone likes to feel like they come first once in awhile and it seems like youdon't get to feel that way very often.
It is understandable that you are feeling sad not knowing where you fit on his list of priorities.

aJ

(in reply to parttimehotty)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> sad girl

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.125