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Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 8:16:20 AM   
ladyraven1


Posts: 38
Joined: 1/23/2008
Status: offline 		ok, so i'm sat on the bus heading for school and there's two fellas sat behind me and i can hear them talking over my earphones.  they were discussing single mothers.  i wasn't listening intentionally, but when i heard what they were saying, i couldn't help it.

they were saying how they would never date a single mother because they were damaged goods.  all they were good for was a casual quicky and if they were dumb enough to get pregnant in the first place, it was their own fault.  they were generally ugly women, overweight and useless layabouts living off benefit.

ok, so i'm a single mum and i'm somewhat overweight.  yes, i receive benefit but i am looking for work if can get it.  whether or not i'm ugly depends on perspective.  so does that make me damaged goods?  is a casual quicky all i'm worth now?
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 8:27:14 AM   
mhawk


Posts: 509
Joined: 11/5/2007
From: Washington
Status: offline 		just toss it off as a couple of guys who don't know what they are missing. i was a single mother for awhile and due to my own circumstances my son was adopted. but in the time i was doing what i could to rasie him and care for him, i found that deep down i was still the same person i always was.

you know you are doing well  and doing the right thing when you see the smile on their little faces knowing it is because of you that they are healthy and happy,being a loving and responsible parent does not make you "damaged goods".

you ARE worth it and if some tosser thinks otherwise,it's their problem. you are who you are and that is what makes you the great and good person you are.

(in reply to ladyraven1)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 8:32:11 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Hunny try being 44 toothe missing and a cripple.

Many men dont want to raise another  guys kids, only their own.  So the lady has tomakeupforit in other areas.  Consider the typeofguywhoonly takes up space.  Belching,smoking and fartin and making dirty laundry and a mess.  DO you want that?

Also talk between menis different then in mixed company.

1 kid usually can work. 3 and more the lady is sorta --- yesderdays newspaper.

(in reply to ladyraven1)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 8:35:20 AM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		I wouldn't give a flying duck's fuck about two dickheads sitting on the bus. For all you know, they can't date anybody because they have halitosis. Or impotence. Or both.

Fuck them. Or more to the point... don't  .

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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 8:36:02 AM   
Taintedblood


Posts: 116
Joined: 10/22/2007
Status: offline 		of course you aren't damaged goods!  please have more self worth than thinking that...

(in reply to pahunkboy)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 8:39:34 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		All you heard was two immature people bouncing off sexual bravado on each other. To draw a conclusion based on two people talking is more a reflection on you then the two who were saying it.

The truth is if you took conversation between two people of any age and gender you are going to get the possibility of a flippant gross generalization often and often they will be on the negative side. Their conversation was no different then two women complaining “all men are assholes” or “all men want is sex” or two men going “women only care about how much money we make”.

All human beings have different opinions and often these opinions can also be quite different from how we share them and what our thoughts and emotions are at the time.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to ladyraven1)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 8:53:27 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		I am a single Mom by choice, My child was an AI that I paid a great deal to have---I have raised a beautiful child to the age of 18 now, established a good life and a solid family and I am far from used goods--those little shits aren't worthy of licking My riding boots.
 
Although I think too many unplanned pregnancies are popping up today--I applaud  and support the cause of single mothers who take their responsibilities seriously and do what ever it takes to raise their children.
 
Obviously their parents didn't. Chalk it up to people's preferences and prejudices.

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Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to ladyraven1)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 8:56:56 AM   
greyangelus


Posts: 192
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline 		How old were these guys out of curiosity? Solid in thier 20's or older?

While these 2 paticular are soildly in the dumbass category, you being a single mother verse you being childless does factor into a guys yes/no decision making process. After all, unless they're going after said quicky, they're not just going out and looking at solely you, but in a way your child as well, along with all the responsibilities said child requires.
Some guys are dead set against ever procreating or child-rearing period.  Others want to, but like a previous poster said, but only in regards to their own children, not another guys. 1 or 2 kids is one thing, 3+ is another (like one paticular genius that has 5 kids at 28 by 3 different guys and who's dating a 4th atm)

Personally, I like to think of it as reduced competition.  I'm at the age we're if I want to date or have a relationship with someone roughly my age, chances are vey good they'll have at least one child, if not more.  I'm ready to help raise a chiold? Hah, not really but no one ever really ready for that. My big question is usually wether or not daddie's in the picture(weekend visits and such).  That one's a hard limit for me.

(in reply to Taintedblood)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 9:00:05 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I wouldn't give a flying duck's fuck about two dickheads sitting on the bus. For all you know, they can't date anybody because they have halitosis. Or impotence. Or both.

Fuck them. Or more to the point... don't  .


What the lovely kittin said............


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to kittinSol)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 9:04:30 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		In the big picture, I would rather be involved with someone who knows what it is like to really care about another. Who does that better than a single mom?

Jeff

(in reply to ladyraven1)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 9:05:00 AM   
seeksfemslave


Posts: 4011
Joined: 6/16/2006
Status: offline 		No you are not "damaged goods"
but
single motherhood is a very serious  problem with many phsychological social and economic problems in attendance. Thats what I think !

(in reply to ladyraven1)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 9:07:07 AM   
IrishMist


Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I wouldn't give a flying duck's fuck about two dickheads sitting on the bus. For all you know, they can't date anybody because they have halitosis. Or impotence. Or both.

Fuck them. Or more to the point... don't  .

Now that is PURE poetry....I fucking love it.

I agree with what is said here 

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If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


(in reply to kittinSol)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 9:08:39 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		Unflattering stereotypes are neccessarily based on the worst examples... just because you fall into a general category doesn't mean that you are forced to share all of the negative traits.

Now when you hear two guys on a bus saying 'I wish I could date a single mom, but the terms of the inheritance rule that out, and besides, I'm too busy with that Nobel prize thing to properly pay attention to her kids...'  you can feel sorry for yourself...

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 9:11:38 AM   
Rule


Posts: 10479
Joined: 12/5/2005
Status: offline 		Quite.
 
Those two - probably desperate like me - pricks lack nobility of soul.
 
A single mom has proven fertility and thus for men that want progeny has high value.
 

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 9:16:36 AM   
celticlord2112


Posts: 5732
Status: offline 		There are idiots and assholes in the world.  You just met two of them.

In all probability, their weekly dates each have five sisters......



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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 9:30:46 AM   
ladyraven1


Posts: 38
Joined: 1/23/2008
Status: offline 		i admit that my son wasn't planned, nor was he actually wanted until i felt him move.  unfortunately, his father was a complete and total bastard.  he neglected first and foremost to let me know that he was married with two children already.  secondly, he had to get me utterly anialated on booze to get me in bed.  however, i kept my baby boy and have raised him on my own.  he's never been a part of our lives, not even sent a birthday card.  my son has never wanted for anything.

as for the two pricks on the bus, it took all i had not to swing round and lay both of them out and i've done a lot worse for far less.  it was just the way they were talking about it that made me wonder because i've had partners both in life and outside that have run a mile when they've discovered i have a child.

thank Y/you all for the opinions, Y/you've made me feel much better about being me

(in reply to celticlord2112)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 9:32:08 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		I had a few dates with a guy who was raising 3kids. [the mom had died of cancer] I was sad for them. The kids and we all         wennt to the mall. The 2 older ones thought it was cool. We did not discuss how we knew eachother but they knew. I encourgaed himtomove closer to his job. I sized up the area that was a good fit.  It was right to make that move.  Frankly he was so exhausted from work and the challenges of life-he was not ready for anyone in his life.  I respected that. I did not take it personally.     keep in mind a guy craves alot of femail attention. often the femail is his only friend.

(in reply to celticlord2112)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 9:35:19 AM   
MissMorrigan


Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Do not allow the words of two simpletons to define who you are. You have achieved one of the greatest things in the world - parenthood. Supposing you weren't on benefits presently, had a high powered career which you juggled with being a mother, despite the fact you are overweight, would you still consider yourself potentially as 'damaged goods'? I'm damn sure you wouldn't.

Other people do not define us, we define ourselves.

I would not place any kind of importance on the words uttered by a couple of jackasses who had that kind of mentality.

What do you consider you are worth - to your child you are the world and you should share their viewpoint.

Besides, those two will never know what it is like to reach depths they are incapable of... so they'll keep floating around in their piss-veneered world of quick fucks and drink-addled blackouts.

(in reply to ladyraven1)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 11:20:31 AM   
luckydog1


Posts: 2736
Joined: 1/16/2006
Status: offline 		I am going to go with grey, it is a factor.  But the status of "single mom" covers a lot of ground.

Jeff I am going to have to disagree, some single moms love thier kids and care about them a lot, but not all. 

(in reply to MissMorrigan)
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RE: Single Mums = Damaged Goods? - 2/5/2008 11:22:22 AM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Consider the source and consider the age of the kids talking.
That should be enough right there.

(in reply to ladyraven1)
Profile   Post #: 20
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