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LadyPact -> RE: Thoughts on Online relationships (2/6/2008 9:44:51 AM)
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I wasn't going to break this apart at first, but since you are so convinced that no one might have a different opinion other than yours to be valid, I'll take the time and trouble.
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ORIGINAL: Faeorie
The criticism of online Domme/sub relationships...I have talked to some people on here who have told me they 'just don't get' online Domme/sub relationships, or that they are not for them. I can understand where a sub may not be strong enough to carry his/her end of online submission, but I don't see why more Dommes take advantage of all an online relationship has to offer. I'll name just a few here:
The reason that some of us don't get it is because we have this away from the screen. We have it as a physical part of our world, and don't want to settle for the electronic version. It isn't about us making it secondary. It's about who we are in our day to day lives.
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1.Fantasy: Storytellers, this is your niche! For individuals like me who are good at writing or who loves to write can find a wonderful creative outlet through email and instant messaging. She/He can create scenes that would not be possible otherwise.
Yes, there will always be scenes that are only possible through the written word. Those that include death or dismemberment come immediately to mind. Personally, that's not My thing, so it doesn't especially interest Me. However, those things that can be written out, and are also humanly possible, following SSC or RACK, can most certainly be carried out. Where some might be good at writing, I might just be better at doing.
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2. Schedule: Sure, I'd love to be a Domme with unlimited time to devote to a sub. In a utopia, I'm sure that's the kind of life I would live...
My sub doesn't require My unlimited time. Like you, other people have hectic schedules. Being a Domme doesn't mean you don't have other responsibilities. In fact, being a Domme means you take on more of them.
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3. Familiarity: No relationship has to be strictly online. In fact, having an online relationship with your sub first before moving to a real life one will be better for the both of you in the long run.
I highly doubt this. I don't need to 'test drive' My relationships on the net before validating them. The electronic doesn't replace any of the factors that the physical does in the matters of building trust, learning expectations, or any of the other examples that you provided. When I am in a scene with My sub, he knows I'll listen to his safe or slow words first hand, because I'm right there doing it. He doesn't have to take My word for it because I said it on the screen. He's experienced it for himself.
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4. Working harder: It's easy to understand how an online sub would have to work harder to please an online Mistress/Master.
You obviously haven't seen My boy do his housework here. Quite frankly, he works his tail off in pleasing Me. As for play related things, he has to actually experience clothespins, floggers, wand, cbt, and a host of other things that I do to him. When I'm applying these methods, he doesn't need to describe the sensations, he has to feel them. Plus, I get the enjoyment of doing them Myself.
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5. Impersonality: It takes a real sub to serve a mistress he cannot see.
Even better, it takes a real sub to serve a Mistress that he can see. He sees Me at My best and at My worst. In everything from corset and skirt, down to jeans and a top. He sees Me without make-up, or when I have a cold. He sees Me when I first wake up, which I can promise you isn't always a pretty picture. He sees the reality of Me being Me, not just the best foot forward that would come through on a computer.
Your online subs, I'm sure, are quite happy with what they have with you. However, have you ever asked any of them what they would prefer if given the choice?
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