RE: no limits rant

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: no limits rant

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: no limits rant

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: no limits rant - 9/20/2005 11:08:11 PM

firefey

Posts: 144
Joined: 1/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChereeAmoor

"Tell me about yourself" usually makes me back away. I don't talk like that nor do I hear it IRL, so why online? I generally respond with, "What do you want to hear?", because it is too vague. Does the person want to hear about my dogs? family? volunteer work? political leanings? opinions about the problems of democracy? college majors? trips? ambitions?

Why, no, none of that. Generally they want to hear what I did in bed last night.

except that is exactly what i want. if all i wanted was to hear about someone sexual exploits, i would buy a subscription to a wank site. but i want a person to submit their will to mine. but in order to do that, they have to be a person and have a will.

by the by, merc n' beth: well "spoken" and logical as usual. and really, you both nailed what i think i was trying to say. gods i'm glad you post. lol

< Message edited by firefey -- 9/20/2005 11:22:57 PM >

(in reply to ChereeAmoor)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: no limits rant - 9/21/2005 6:39:11 AM

worshipmoons

Posts: 39
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: krikket

The one problem about "giving" someone my list of limits is that often the "dom" turns on me and explaimes in a completely 'DOMLY' voice...you, my dear, are no slave..
cheers
jimini

OMGS I so agree. I have had so many “Doms” say I am not a sub because I have limits. Or the type you met that say “My slave/sub will have no limits” That is the biggest crock of Shit I have ever heard. I ignore them or don't go any further and I TELL them why. I feel its important for someone to know what I am saying no. That way they may after time get the hint that ALMOST everyone has a limit of some sort. It may be ok for your Dom to hurt you even to death but what of your family, the little girl down the street or your pet. There is a limit, its just finding it.
I also have physical limitations with my arms, I cant do anything where my arms go behind my back or are suspended. The reactions I get from Doms is truly amazing, from your not sub then because you wont damage yourself further for your Dom or treat like I have leapercy. Finding someone is all about time and patience.
My 2 cents

Pamela

_____________________________

Live is too short to be unhappy, so when the moon is full you'll find me riding my broom through the air, landing here or there, taking in the beauty everywhere....

(in reply to krikket)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: no limits rant - 9/21/2005 7:31:39 AM

exploringlimits

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

From the Real Dom side, I have to disagree with you Muzz. The truth is there are just a lot of wannabe Doms and there just might not be many real ones in your area. Any "real" Dom that only insists on a sub being "no limits" is just fooling themselves into a fantasy world and not a true Dom anyway. As some many have said, all humans have limits with death being one most will agree with. However, even suicidal people have limits... as another post stated, try ignoring their need for D/s, pain or attention for long, that will make them change their mind. Remember all Doms but the truly insane have "limits" too.

It's a good way to weed out the fake ones actually, those Doms that have only had fantasy slaves/subs would insist on "no limits". The way a real Dom (me for one) does it... is to accept a sub/slave with their set of limits and through patience, developing trust and (here's a big nasty 4 letter word that is a limit for many people) love remove her need for limits. If she trusts me absolutely with her life and her love, there is no need to talk of limits. Wow, did I just say that? Hmmm, oh well back to insensitive male training school for me....

< Message edited by exploringlimits -- 9/21/2005 7:41:43 AM >

_____________________________

A Dominant force in today's Dominant world

(in reply to muzz)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: no limits rant - 9/21/2005 8:02:20 AM

lionhearted420

Posts: 5
Joined: 9/27/2004
Status: offline

ok.........it's not so much the sub/slave seeking to be in a no limits relationship that bothers me..........in doing so their trusting that the Dom(me) their serving will never ask anything of them that would endanger their safty or the safty of others.

what bothers me are some(strong stress on the word some) of the people out there claiming to be in the D/s lifestyle and seeking "no limits" slaves are nothing less than truly criminaly sadistic sickoes seeking victims (these people are giving the rest of us bad names). No limits or not.......safe,sane and consentual.

(in reply to firefey)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: no limits rant - 9/22/2005 8:14:44 AM

realophelia

Posts: 168
Status: offline

quote:

I don't believe in no limit slaves. But I do see the occassional no limit -relationship-.

I think that can work very well when a couple has a high degree of compatibility. I don't really have any specific limits in my relationship and we have never had any serious problems.

Ophelia

_____________________________

"And every one of them words rang true And glowed like burning coal Pouring off of every page Like it was written in my soul..."

(in reply to junecleaver)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: no limits rant - 9/22/2005 8:23:18 AM

Tempestspet

Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline

Just a question, well, and my take on this....

Just because the two people ...share.... the same limits, does that mean they don't have any?

Now, my answer to this, and I look forward to hearing other's answers please...smiles...
I believe that everyone has limits, but if you are smart, you will choose a person with compatible limits to your own. Everyone....has limits, be even you say....well everyone has these certain limits, so that doesn't count as a real limit. Yes it does. Just because you have limits.... I think that says more of you, that you are smart enough to know them, than if you have to puff up and insist you don't.

Thank you,
Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to realophelia)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: no limits rant - 9/22/2005 9:18:40 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

you will choose a person with compatible limits to your own. Everyone....has limits, be even you say....well everyone has these certain limits, so that doesn't count as a real limit. Yes it does.

jennifer,
Maybe this parable will help you see our perspective.

Most places the highway speed limit is 65-75 MPH. That's the "limit". Very few cars are not capable of going faster than that, so some car Master's test or "expand" the limit and go faster. Some only go 5-10 miles faster, some go 100+ MPH all determined by the driver/owner (Master) since he/she is the one with the foot on the gas. But ultimately there is an absolute limit. The car will only go so fast. The caring owner/driver, won't risk his car, a valuable possession, by constantly driving it in the "red zone". He's capable of doing it at any time. He's capable of driving it off a cliff for that matter. But it wouldn't be beneficial to him or his valuable possession. The owner sets the limits. The car has no input. But the responsibility for the care, maintenance, and general well being of the possession is considered at all times when the owner decides to "put the pedal to the metal".

A car doesn't get to decide who buys it. It could be bought by someone just looking for a fast, short ride. It can even be stolen or "borrowed" for a "joy-ride"; and used and abused. A good owner is proud of his possession, can keep his/her car a long time and enjoy it. He/she protects it and doesn't let just anyone borrow it. And when someone is sitting next to him at a light and challenges him, he doesn't need to prove he's got the fastest car and lay rubber for 100 yards just because he can.

A Master doesn't need to go through the Biblical test of Abraham to prove he/she has a no limits slave. What purpose would it serve? Satisfying others, labeling semantics, or defining a relationship based upon other people's definitions should not be a part of anyone's personal or relationship goal.

As others have said, finding someone compatible with you is most important. It's also the most difficult part. Once you find him/her, the importance of "limits" or being defined as "no-limits" becomes very unimportant.

< Message edited by Mercnbeth -- 9/22/2005 9:48:22 AM >

(in reply to Tempestspet)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: no limits rant - 9/22/2005 12:24:25 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ChereeAmoor

"Tell me about yourself" usually makes me back away. I don't talk like that nor do I hear it IRL, so why online? I generally respond with, "What do you want to hear?", because it is too vague. Does the person want to hear about my dogs? family? volunteer work? political leanings? opinions about the problems of democracy? college majors? trips? ambitions?

Why, no, none of that. Generally they want to hear what I did in bed last night.

And then there are people like Master and myself who, in response to the request, "Tell me about yourself," want to hear EXACTLY those things you listed - pets, family, outside interests, political leanings, ambitions, etc. We want to know these things because we're serious about searching for someone who "fits" us, and we need to know that when the fetters come off and playtime is over, we've all still got something in common and things we can talk about. Who cares what someone did in bed last night? Odds are, we've done it, too. Rarely have we found anything sexual that we'd consider "unique" enough to want to read about it.

(in reply to ChereeAmoor)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: no limits rant - 9/22/2005 12:27:53 PM

Evanesce

Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Would I allow him to cut my skin and make me bleed. No again.

Oooooooooooooooo! I would! In a heartbeat! There's something VERY sexy about cutting. Of course, one doesn't always need knives to cut skin. Fingernails work just as well - especially when the flesh has been nicely reddened first.

(in reply to Sunshine119)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: no limits rant - 9/22/2005 2:46:46 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

The one problem about "giving" someone my list of limits is that often the "dom" turns on me and explaimes in a completely 'DOMLY' voice...you, my dear, are no slave..

Of course, he's right..i'm just a sub..but that's neither here nor there. There are an amazing number of people who are complain, somewhat endlessly, about how the "subs on CM can't possibly be 'real' when they go around telling the dominant what they will or won't do."

I personally feel that there is a HUGE difference in listing your limits & telling a dominant what you will or won't do...maybe this is just me. Listing a limit of no scat play to me is very different from a no limits housecleaner deciding one day that they no longer do windows!!

If I understand Merc & beth's relationship as they explain it (rather eloquently I might add) beth initally DID have limits, fears & questions that as the relationship built has turned into no limits FOR HER between them. AS Merc states she is HIS slave not A slave.

Maybe I am alone in the idea that someone listing at the outset 'these things scare me" is an honest expression of who they are & what they believe. I think this idea of no limits from day one on your knees for any dunderhead that comes in the door with a big D title is rediculous & harmful for both parties involved. I think anyone that looks down upon this at the outset is someone that should be avoided. Someone that will not respect you honestly presenting your fears is someone that is probably not going to respect the gift that your submission is.

just my .02

(in reply to krikket)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: no limits rant - 9/22/2005 6:36:22 PM

Tempestspet

Posts: 360
Joined: 1/13/2005
Status: offline

I understand your analogy. Though I remain with my thoughts that just because the two of you share the same limits....doesn't mean one is a no limits person... it means that within your relationship you have no limits...only because you share the same ones. Now, I'm sure that if your limits changed, they do that sometimes, hers would change along with your, as she has previously agreed that tis would be the case.

Now, I enjoyed your example, however... you are right in that a car may not choose it's owner, but a car is an inanimate object. A person is not, and absolutely chooses her Master. Just as you chose her. She had free choice, up until she chose to give you that right over her, in giving herself to you as your slave.

Hopefully, smiles, I made more sense this time...gosh I do love my stories...lol

sighs... I really do enjoy talking with you guys!!..smiles..

Tempest's pet
jennifer

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: no limits rant - 9/22/2005 11:35:57 PM

FLButtSlut

Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline

Mercnbeth,

I always enjoy the way you explain it as you know. Love the car analogy, but as Tempestspet said, beth did have the right to choose her owner. Luckily for both of you, you chose each other.

However...I think your making that statement has summed up a great deal of the problems that many subs/slaves find on sites like these. That so many doms and masters don't seem to understand that the sub/slave they are talking with has just as much power in the decision of whether or not to move on to a relationship as they do. We are not, thank God, forced to take any "dunderhead" (thanks Rose, love that word) who thinks we are a "great buy". When I think about all the absolutely repuslive men I have heard from, the thought of my not having a choice is terrifying!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: no limits rant - 9/23/2005 6:42:04 AM

plantlady64

Posts: 755
Joined: 5/19/2005
Status: offline

quote:

The caring owner/driver, won't risk his car, a valuable possession, by constantly driving it in the "red zone". He's capable of doing it at any time. He's capable of driving it off a cliff for that matter. But it wouldn't be beneficial to him or his valuable possession.

Hello There,
Well said my dear smart friend!
I so can identify with your statement here. my Master calls me His fine Ferrari. Especially if he's doing something like rubbing my back in aftercare time. He says like a Farrari he needs to be sure he keeps up with the maintenance so I will never breakdown leave him by the side of the road. He's right too. The more he takes care of my physical body the more my engine purrs for him instantly.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 53