RE: The evasive reality ...

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: The evasive reality ...

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: The evasive reality ...

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: The evasive reality ... - 2/6/2008 8:44:08 PM

Bound2One

Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline

I've met several Doms from this website and have found someone and things are going very well indeed. How long do you wait to ask for a meet? Meeting for a quick cup of coffee after a couple of weeks or maybe a month of writing and possibly talking on the phone certainly is feasible.

(in reply to SubmissiveGael)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: The evasive reality ... - 2/6/2008 11:35:25 PM

LadyLolly

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/21/2005
Status: offline

Since you are in an area where just "bumping" into someone at a "do" isn't going to happen - the net is what you've pretty much got to work with.

Just wanted to again stress the need to meet face to face socially early on or the bulk will happily stroke you off for moths or even years. It's been my experience that the majority will bail once a honest to gawd meeting is pressed for. Then the excuses, bail outs, or true confessions come to light. Enjoy the "chatting" for what it is until then - interesting, fun, getting a "feel". I take nothing too much to heart, do not get personally invested until after I see if the whites of thier eyes go all the way around (wild eyed nutty).

I guess my new, if you want to be considered rule of get your buns here for a social face to face visit within 30 days could be viewed as "tribute" to some - it is at thier expense. For saftey sake I think the guys should come to the woman's home turf - d's or s's. If they aren't willing/interested enough to do so then I'm not interested. Travel in this day and age is not all that big of a deal.

Getting jerked around does get old. If it gets you down, take a break for awhile or spend less intense time on it at least. Go have some life rather than behind the keyboard all the time, waiting, hoping, dreaming.......

Hang in there, with all the horse shit in here must be a horse some where......<G>

(in reply to SubmissiveGael)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: The evasive reality ... - 2/7/2008 12:30:56 AM

MasterWilliam55

Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline

Well, living on Craggy Ilsand will limit your possibilities. and sappy poetry, no matter how handsome you are, that's a severe limitation. Please don't believe those folks who tell you how successful they have been on-line or on real life. The reality is, we all struggle with finding a suitable partner(s).

(in reply to SubmissiveGael)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: The evasive reality ... - 2/7/2008 2:53:00 AM

Thorns82

Posts: 92
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Los Angeles, CA
Status: offline

Before pushing for a face to face meet, do you try talking on the phone? I wouldn't meet with someone if I didn't have their phone number.

(in reply to MasterWilliam55)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: The evasive reality ... - 2/7/2008 4:24:53 AM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

I met my slave in person after chatting with her and talking with her on the phone for roughly a month.

The speed our relationship developed is definitely unusual--something just "clicked" for us--but it does happen.

I have owned her now for over a year, so yes, it does happen.

_____________________________

(in reply to SubmissiveGael)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: The evasive reality ... - 2/7/2008 6:32:58 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterWilliam55
Please don't believe those folks who tell you how successful they have been on-line or on real life.

Holy crap! You mean all those people posting about their long-term relationships are lying? Or my best friend, who met his common-law wife of 11 years online is putting me on? WTF?????? Meeting people is not that hard. Finding someone to fall in love with is not that easy.

Yes, phone call first. However, I don't ask for pics. Usually spontaneously, people send one or a few after some days of chatting, along with a note saying, "I really respect that you didn't ask for pics, so here they are." It's a way of showing I'm-not-like-other-Doms without saying it. I'm not interested in beat-off material. I'm interested in human connection.

Your mileage may vary, but it's not as frikkin difficult to meet sane people as some posters make it sound.

(in reply to MasterWilliam55)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: The evasive reality ... - 2/7/2008 7:32:29 AM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SubmissiveGael

Online, or not online, that is the question.

The answer is "yes."

quote:

Obviously, I have never attempted to force the issue, or to meet someone before I even knew I wanted to, but just as it gets interesting for me, the person in question seems to 'go cold', 'chicken out' or 'get scared'.

P:erhaps you should "force" the issue next time. If the logistics are workable, don't wait too long (a week maybe) before broaching the topic of meeting.

You don't have to run out and hook up with every one you chat with....but if a long term r/l relationship is the goal, you're just not going to learn that much about the person chatting online and talking on the phone.

Wait too long, and the person you're chatting with might just move on to someone else.

_____________________________

(in reply to SubmissiveGael)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: The evasive reality ... - 2/7/2008 8:36:21 AM

LAMaster1964

Posts: 13
Joined: 12/1/2007
Status: offline

Let people know up front that you are looking for "real" and "honest" people. I don't mind talking with people just for the sake of conversation,however, if I am really interested in someone I will ask for picture within a two or three emails. I will ask for phone conversation within a week, and if things are going good, a meeting within a month. I feel that you should just be you and lay it out there. If you meet the right person it will just naturally flow right along. If it dosen't flow, then you haven't wasted a lot of time for nothing.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: The evasive reality ... - 2/7/2008 9:56:26 AM

MasterWilliam55

Posts: 361
Joined: 1/27/2006
Status: offline

Thorn,

Whether by design or circumstances it seems I've always met folks over the phone before meeting them face-to-face. I provide them with my contact information and suggest they arrange a safe call.

(in reply to Thorns82)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: The evasive reality ... - 2/7/2008 12:41:24 PM

SubmissiveGael

Posts: 26
Joined: 7/1/2007
Status: offline

Red Magic1, your limerick is class! A1! Really liked that. Lateralist, please do not give up, he will come along. Be honest and upfront, and you will get what you want. ta2dqt, to answer that:

some seem to be just prepared to linger with the online part, and it isn't a case of 'give them time and they will come around' to meeting in person. Oftentimes they are unwilling to do so because they are really in a relationship and only doing this for kicks, or because the fantasy is more important for them than the reality. Others, perhaps, find my online self (we all have them, don't deny it!) interesting enough to converse with, online, but not enough to go as far as real-time. Then again, maybe I am just a bore and I put people off before it can get more interesting!

My point is that for me, while I have met several online friends, my ultimate goal is a lifestyle-relationship, and as such, I desire to meet people at some point in the correspondence in order to take it to another level. That is all I meant when I said that at that point "everything goes wrong for me?", and that is why I think it does.

sg.

(in reply to Urza)

Profile

Post #: 30