RE: You deserve to be single

RE: You deserve to be single (Full Version)

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Dnomyar -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 6:48:10 AM)
Partys and munchies are not my thing. As many of you on here know I am not shy about sending someone a note. If they say no or block you then move on. If your afraid that they wont like your looks put a bag on your head. Have pateince and keep pluging away.

came4U -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 6:52:56 AM)
quote: It's not my job to give a stranger closure. lol, good choice of words. I'm going to remember that one.

nohalo -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 7:06:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I don't care if you always respond. I don't respond to people unless I want to. It's not rude. I also toss out unsolicited junk mail. Because that's what it is....junk. It's not my job to give a stranger closure. ditto...well said, KatyLied

cloudboy -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 7:08:40 AM)
I think this is another example of your Just World perspective: aka that people get what they deserve and that anyone who fails is either flawed or not working hard enough. What's next: "You deserve to be unemployed..." "You deserve to be fat...." Those of us safely on the sidelines can always issue high minded prescriptions to those with troubles. The question is, are we really helping anyone?

RedMagic1 -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 7:20:38 AM)
People who just can't let something go definitely do deserve to be single.

cloudboy -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 7:27:24 AM)
[8D] Hmmm, I wonder who you have in mind here........ [:)]

Skully7000 -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 7:57:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I don't care if you always respond. I don't respond to people unless I want to. It's not rude. I also toss out unsolicited junk mail. Because that's what it is....junk. It's not my job to give a stranger closure. I agree its not your job to give closure but I also do not kid myself that it is In fact being rude. You are an adult and it is up to you to decide if you will feel any guilt towards it or not. I'm certainly not going to loose sleep knowing you are being rude. with that said: I will throw my reasons/criteria for why I do or do not reply to the amount of messages. Like you I do not reply to JUNK. but what is junk? one liners, people who don't read a profile, people who can't follow a simple instruction as a matter of courtesy. basically all the things that people bitch about all over the boards. that to me is Junk and no I don't reply to that. if someone cant be bothered to send me a proper message I won't be bothered to send a proper reply. Alternativly, ANYONE who sends me a well written message is respectful shows even the slightest hint at reading my profile will get a response. Because even if i'm not interested I hope it encourages them to continue being polite and respectful and putting the time into a proper message. if you just flat out ignore the response people get disenchanted and start sending out bulk cookie cutter messages. the whole idea of encouraging quality over quantity. Perhaps i'm a little idealistic. but i would rather be Idealistic then jaded. I'm relatively young and if I don't try to keep the jadedness at bay I will be one damned crotchety old guy. Cheers Skully

KatyLied -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 8:43:18 AM)
Again, there is nothing worse than being on the receiving end of d-type who can not take "no" for an answer. I've tried to respond with "no thank you" or "I'm not interested" or "I'm currently in a relationship". Here are the varied responses: "ah come on, meet me for coffee" "I think we'd be a good match" "let me know if the relationship doesn't work out". "you are a bitch because you don't want to meet me" "I can't believe you won't give me a chance". Like I said pretty pathetic and something I don't wish to subject myself to. If only people could learn that no response is indeed a response.

AAkasha -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 8:58:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy I think this is another example of your Just World perspective: aka that people get what they deserve and that anyone who fails is either flawed or not working hard enough. What's next: "You deserve to be unemployed..." "You deserve to be fat...." Those of us safely on the sidelines can always issue high minded prescriptions to those with troubles. The question is, are we really helping anyone? The TITLE of the thread was to catch attention. If you read my post, you would see what it's about, instead of taking any opportunity you can to try to make me look bad. Advertisers love guys like you. I knew you would fall for it! Akasha

AAkasha -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 8:59:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 People who just can't let something go definitely do deserve to be single. Thank you.

Dnomyar -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 10:18:14 AM)
Mmmm Im a jadded old guy and still have my crotch.

TethersEnd -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 6:35:02 PM)
Rude is as rude does. When I was visible on the other side and with another name I found exactly as Katy did, many (cough) Dom's who reduced themselves to the level of rude in their begging AFTER a polite no thank you to their first note of hello. It is easy to become a bit ~jaded~ after polite replies made from a similar perspective of idealism is battered over and over and over again. call me Jaded, I wear it well. [:D] quote: ORIGINAL: Skully7000 I agree its not your job to give closure but I also do not kid myself that it is In fact being rude. You are an adult and it is up to you to decide if you will feel any guilt towards it or not. I'm certainly not going to loose sleep knowing you are being rude. with that said: I will throw my reasons/criteria for why I do or do not reply to the amount of messages. Like you I do not reply to JUNK. but what is junk? one liners, people who don't read a profile, people who can't follow a simple instruction as a matter of courtesy. basically all the things that people bitch about all over the boards. that to me is Junk and no I don't reply to that. if someone cant be bothered to send me a proper message I won't be bothered to send a proper reply. Alternativly, ANYONE who sends me a well written message is respectful shows even the slightest hint at reading my profile will get a response. Because even if i'm not interested I hope it encourages them to continue being polite and respectful and putting the time into a proper message. if you just flat out ignore the response people get disenchanted and start sending out bulk cookie cutter messages. the whole idea of encouraging quality over quantity. Perhaps i'm a little idealistic. but i would rather be Idealistic then jaded. I'm relatively young and if I don't try to keep the jadedness at bay I will be one damned crotchety old guy. Cheers Skully

Redoubt -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 6:51:35 PM)
Fast reply: Until you are happy being single, then you really don't have anything to offer a partner, no matter how you find them.

TethersEnd -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 7:03:33 PM)
Well said Redoubt... well said! quote: ORIGINAL: Redoubt Fast reply: Until you are happy being single, then you really don't have anything to offer a partner, no matter how you find them.

DesFIP -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 8:21:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cloudboy "You deserve to be unemployed..." Sometimes they do. If you show up for an interview late, poorly dressed, unclean and without having done any research into the company or the job position, you do deserve to not get it. Case in point, one of The Man's oldest friends was looking for a job with a bank and they turned him down. The Man told him bluntly that banks are not likely to hire 50 year old men with ponytails. The friend went into a tizzy, declaring that he had the right to wear his hair however he wanted. At which point he was told that he did have that right, and that a conservative small town bank had the right to decide that he didn't match their image and they had the right to hire someone else instead. Eventually he settled down and had a more professional hair cut and was then hired by the next bank that interviewed him. However, he deserved not to be hired for not fitting their corporate image. If he wanted a job where he could wear his greying hair in a pony tail, he should not have been seeking a job with a bank. Finance people do not employ whimsy in the workplace. His choice.

nwcutie102 -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 8:40:30 PM)
i am kind of shy, alittle scared until very comfortable. i could never go to a club or a munch without someone i felt protected and safe with

Rushemery -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 8:51:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha Do you think that people who complain about their inability to find partners - yet, they limit their searching to basically this place (Collarme) - deserve to be single? Those that don't make an effort to go to munches or parties, don't look in other avenues, don't use other services that may cost money? Collarme is a free site. As such, it invites a lot of time wasters -- after all, you can make a profile for free and have all the fun you want and never intend to meet anyone. If collarme was a pay site, would these people who are complaining pay, or just stop using this site? Is there something to be said for the willingness to invest (perhaps in another of the personals site that has a pay option, or, through a more vanilla setting with some clever innuendo) money in the search? People complain a lot about the search functions here, how there are too many fakes or pros, how people vanish, etc. Yet, they forget to realize this is a free site - of course, with that, you get an element of waste. So instead of paying with money, you are paying with time. How valuable is your time? Would you be willing to pay $50 a month for a personals service that guaranteed no pros were lurking? No tribute seekers? How about $100? How about $10? These are rhetorical questions, but the answers may be interesting. Do you pay for a personals service (bondage.com, alt, whatever) and if so, are the results considerably better than here? Do you waste less time there? If you don't choose to search for partners via other means - parties, munches, etc., what's the reason? Akasha Well my opinion is that, any kind of dating site is or can be a waist of money, Id much rather get shot down for free! I have paid for quite a few over the last 3 years and didnt find what Im looking for, I have met many people some of which I still correspond with though. As far as fake people they are on all the sites and it sucks to pay for a site that you only get contacted by people out of the country so I would have to say find a site you like and invest the time. Bars well....if thats what you want and the type of person you want to meet thats fine but I dont spend much time in them any more, a few nights a month is enough to catch up on a lot for me but I also have a home life I enjoy

cloudboy -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 10:09:37 PM)
Its a truism that personal responsibility and judgment play a huge role in our fates. But life isn't always an Ann Rand Paradigm. From my vantage point, its always distasteful for someone gorging in the banquet hall to bemoan the poor life skills of starving people.

juliaoceania -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 10:25:33 PM)
quote: Do you think that people who complain about their inability to find partners - yet, they limit their searching to basically this place (Collarme) - deserve to be single? Those that don't make an effort to go to munches or parties, don't look in other avenues, don't use other services that may cost money? How would paying money yield to anything resembling a long term love relationship? Beyond that, I have to ask why you phrase it in a punitive way as "deserving" less because one complains or has some negativity going on. It probably isn't helpful to be negative to find what one wants, but frankly I find this business of people "deserving" to have happiness elude them as being negative too.

marsneedswomen -> RE: You deserve to be single (2/8/2008 11:34:37 PM)
The problem I see is that places are free seem to yield the same results as those you pay money for, so that it isn't worth paying to find a kinky partner. So why bother with the money sites like Alt.com? I think the vanilla dating sites are run much better than the kinky sites so paying the money is justified. E-harmony is a much better matchmaking site than bondage.com or alt.com. If there were a bdsm matchmaking site that was as good or better than the vanilla sites, I would pay the money. Mistress Spenser's submissive property, marsneedswomen

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