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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/8/2008 8:29:16 PM

Nineveh

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That may be possible. For that reason I am glad it had not moved beyond the place it was at before she chose to act as she did.

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/8/2008 8:42:00 PM

nwcutie102

Posts: 162
Joined: 1/13/2008
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no matter how you slice it... i think it is a break up

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/8/2008 10:05:11 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nineveh
People, men and women, do sometimes walk away from a satisfying relationship without talking about what went wrong, what could go better.

The words satisfying and having gone wrong are opposites. If it is satisfying, then it is going right. If it's gone wrong, then it is no longer satisfying. And the fact that once upon a time it did meet your needs doesn't at all mean it will continue to do so.

We're people, adaptable and changable. Our needs change over time.

As far as the one who ran away because she was frightened? I refuse to believe she was happy for six months and frightened the next minute for no reason. I do believe she was unhappy and you ignored the signs. Now that doesn't mean she shouldn't have told you she was unhappy even if she couldn't pinpoint the source of her fear, or did she and you ignored it?

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/8/2008 10:14:07 PM

Nineveh

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nineveh
People, men and women, do sometimes walk away from a satisfying relationship without talking about what went wrong, what could go better.

The words satisfying and having gone wrong are opposites. If it is satisfying, then it is going right. If it's gone wrong, then it is no longer satisfying. And the fact that once upon a time it did meet your needs doesn't at all mean it will continue to do so.

We're people, adaptable and changable. Our needs change over time.

As far as the one who ran away because she was frightened? I refuse to believe she was happy for six months and frightened the next minute for no reason. I do believe she was unhappy and you ignored the signs. Now that doesn't mean she shouldn't have told you she was unhappy even if she couldn't pinpoint the source of her fear, or did she and you ignored it?

She did not tell me. This was an experience that taught me how crucial communication is, and how important it is to make it clear to a sub or slave that if she tries to hide any reservations or issues she may be having with the relationship from me that she is doing me a disservice and is not truly submitting. I am sure there were signs that I could have seen and did not, it is a lot harder when the relationship is long distance, in my opinion, to see some of those signs that may be clear when dealing with someone face to face.

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/9/2008 2:31:42 AM

HalloweenWhite

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Joined: 6/20/2005
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If you're in an online relationship expect to be dumped as and when the other person feels like at, also, accept that there's not a thing you can do about it. If you're in a r/l relationship, as far as I'm concerened, if the slave wants out, she can go-otherwise it's holding her against her will and is abusive.

(in reply to Acheron143)

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/9/2008 2:32:31 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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I have a sub, not a slave, but I'm going to answer your question anyway.

My sub knows that he is in this dynamic by choice. It is a choice that he makes every day. He makes it every time he is with Me. For that matter, he makes it when he is without Me, too. He makes it every time he is changing from his every day collar to his formal one. He makes it every time he goes through his morning or evening rituals. I think you get the point.

Should his choice be different, of course I would want to know why. However, he really isn't under an obligation should he chose to no longer be My sub. Should he release himself for whatever reason, he is released, and I have no control in whether his reason, in My opinion, was a good one or not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acheron143

I've never introduced myself to the board or to anyone here other than the few chat sessiosn and those I've talked to directly but hello.:)

I am a Master, and it has always been my opinion if a slave who has a desire to leave me can provide good reasons and is only an online/new/trainee to begin with can ask and expect to be released at any time in their service. *shrugs* Am I completely out of line in that type of thought?

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/9/2008 2:39:15 AM

HalloweenWhite

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nineveh

I have to say, although those who have stated that a slave has the right to leave if she sees fit are correct, it is extremely rude to do so without at least discussing it first. Now, of course, in some cases it may be necessary, for instance if the Dom doesn't realize that the slave has the right to terminate the rtelationship. I think that both slaves and masters get caught up in the idea that there can be no flexibility, that the slaves needs do not matter, and forget that the relationship exists to fill the needs of both. To run away without a word leaves the person you havbe run from feeling confused, betrayed, and angry.

Nobody gets up and abandons a satisfying relationship. By the time someone just gives up and walks, they've attempted to talk about their needs and been ignored./ridiculed/abused over and over. The fact that the other person refused to listen is their own fault.

However this is one of those differences between men and women. Most men I know will walk out numerous times and come back. By the time a woman gives up and walks, she isn't coming back. The fact that men assume she'll act like he does is his problem, not hers.

Not always the case, My submissive just stopped talking to Me one night,never said there was a problem,never said she was worried about something, never said she was upset, just went. As it turned out she just lost interest Me and there was someone in the back ground I didn't know about until I saw her brand new shiny collar.

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/9/2008 2:50:36 AM

Justme696

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Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acheron143

I've never introduced myself to the board or to anyone here other than the few chat sessiosn and those I've talked to directly but hello.:)

I am a Master, and it has always been my opinion if a slave who has a desire to leave me can provide good reasons and is only an online/new/trainee to begin with can ask and expect to be released at any time in their service. *shrugs* Am I completely out of line in that type of thought?

yes both parties can leave when they want too. We are not different from the vanilla world in that. Some will explain...some will stay away suddenly..
There are good and bad people.
No science needed for this question..lol..people are unpredictable

< Message edited by Justme696 -- 2/9/2008 2:51:39 AM >

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/9/2008 8:13:46 AM

Acheron143

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See these are the kind of responses I expected and wanted:). Thank you for your time everyone.

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/11/2008 6:22:30 PM

BikerDomRealTime

Posts: 86
Joined: 10/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Acheron143

I've never introduced myself to the board or to anyone here other than the few chat sessiosn and those I've talked to directly but hello.:)

I am a Master, and it has always been my opinion if a slave who has a desire to leave me can provide good reasons and is only an online/new/trainee to begin with can ask and expect to be released at any time in their service. *shrugs* Am I completely out of line in that type of thought?

Acheron143,

I don't think you are out of line. I am of the opinion if a slave does not want to be with Me, she will not do her best or be very pleasing so why keep her around. When a Master and slave are beginning their relationship, there are still many things they are discovering about each other, especially if the M/s relationship is intertwined with a vanilla relationship. It may be the relatioinship goals are not the same, she is not the slave for you, or you are the Master for her.

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/11/2008 6:32:44 PM

angelic

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Odd huh... A woman can consent to be your slave... you can command her, make her do anything the two of you have agreed upon... you can change your mind when it suits you or she should just do something simply because you said so, not to mention the myraid of other things.....and she always and forever has the right to walk... and there is not a single thing (short of breaking the law) that you can do about it.

< Message edited by angelic -- 2/11/2008 6:34:21 PM >

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/12/2008 6:50:52 AM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
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The first two words you say in anything you do...

" I choose."

They choose to submit, to look at the world from a slaves eyes. They can choose to change their minds.

But lets be honest, yes it would be nice to know why. But in reality, how many times do you hear about some one just going to work one day to come home to an empty house? Because some one chose to leave their funky asses?

Its happened to My lil brother 3 times.

Its a choice.

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RE: Question of Slavery - 2/12/2008 8:27:25 AM

vanillaknot

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/25/2005
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quote:

...she always and forever has the right to walk... and there is not a single thing (short of breaking the law) that you can do about it.

As much as it is true, in a fairly technical sense, that any person can get up and walk, there is the psychological component, in which the will due to do so can be erased.

I am quite comfortable with the idea that my slavewoman cannot leave. Not because she is chained and confined 100% of the time, but because it is no longer in her even to contemplate leaving. It has not been in her for many years now; she's mine, and she knows it. I could untrain that self-understanding in her by some form of abuse, I suppose, but the fact remains that merely having car keys and a bank account in her own name does not mean she has the capacity to walk away into self-sufficiency.

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Post #: 33