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RE: Role reversal - 2/14/2008 5:51:29 PM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
...
Your job is not to ...

Whereas your job is to tell a stranger on the internet what should and shouldn't constitute her relationship? After hearing a brief and apparently quite emotional account of one side of the story?

That's a tough assignment but you sure make it look easy.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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Post #: 21

RE: Role reversal - 2/14/2008 5:53:25 PM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

Sounds to me like he has a medical problem, and is in denial. You may want to talk to his doctor, you are acting as an enabler, and helping neither yourself nor him.

But being physician and psychiatrist to unmet friend of a total stranger may be an even tougher job yet.

(in reply to antipode)

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Post #: 22

RE: Role reversal - 2/14/2008 5:55:25 PM

Noah

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
...
Edited to Add : For the sake of fairness ...

Oh don't go doing something like that. Everyone was having so much fun.

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Post #: 23

RE: Role reversal - 2/14/2008 8:13:14 PM

gcarlos

Posts: 98
Joined: 8/29/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I think you have to look at a small paradox here. If someone is dominant, they can be vanilla too. Which means having the control NOT to have to control.

This is sometimes the case with Master. He wants me to take care of certain aspects of his life. He just knows there are some things that he needs me to tell him to do or he won't do them. And the paradox i run into is that sometimes he gets mad at me about this. But i know that this is a responsibility he has enpowered me with, and whether he is mad or not it does not matter. This is part of my love and service to him.

Best,
Their {girl}

< Message edited by gcarlos -- 2/14/2008 8:14:28 PM >

(in reply to Leatherist)

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RE: Role reversal - 2/16/2008 5:52:55 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
...
Your job is not to ...

Whereas your job is to tell a stranger on the internet what should and shouldn't constitute her relationship? After hearing a brief and apparently quite emotional account of one side of the story?

If her job was to be his mother, then she would not have bothered to post. He never said to her he wanted her to be his mommy, nor did he give her the option to tell him that she wasn't interested in that. He claimed to want all the control and not to push it all on her.

If in fact he lied to her about it all, then she has every right to stop doing it because she didn't consent to this.

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RE: Role reversal - 2/17/2008 12:41:10 AM

HerLord

Posts: 697
Joined: 2/14/2008
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Do you wear your fucking nurses uniform while you are whining with his cock in your mouth?

< Message edited by HerLord -- 2/17/2008 12:42:22 AM >

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Post #: 26

RE: Role reversal - 2/17/2008 2:38:05 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: elizabethVI

At what point have the roles been reversed or is it just normal 24/7 man/woman, husband/wife.
i have to practically force Master to take His vitamins/medications, eat better, exercise, get things done that He says He wants to get done, read books for classes He is supposed to read, Not eat foods that the doctor says He can not eat....etc etc etc. Along with all that i don't feel anyone is taking care of my needs...i no longer even care about my wants but it would be nice if someone would help me out with some of my needs once in a while.
Have we lost the D/s relationship and now it's vanilla husband verses wife? Should i just let Him do whatever no matter the risk to His health and home and assume He knows best? i feel some of these things are really important to just let go...

I can only speak to my own relationship, but (a big) part of that includes making his life easier. A lot of little things like, remembering the birthday's of his family members and making sure they have a gift, preparing foods that he enjoys eating, yes.. reminding him to take his pills and sometimes doing things that are 'bad' for him because he tells me to do so. Basically, I serve him as he requires and if he's not saying much about my service to him, that means I'm doing a pretty good job of it. Sort of like a 'no news is good news' thing. :) I'm the go-to girl for the details and grunt work and he's the big picture guy. That's just me, though and that sort of service to him fills a lot of me up.

As far as my needs .. hell, I open my mouth and ask for what I need. I need to be whipped till I cry? I ask for it. I need a cuddle .. I ask for that as well. Master is not a mind reader .. he's just a man and he's flawed and he doesn't always think about what I 'need' in order to thrive. I guess I could resent that because I certainly think about what he needs and I do my best to ensure he gets it without asking .. but he's not me and I accept that and love the person he is, flaws and all.. just like he loves me, flaws and all.

I guess my advice would be to open your mouth. If you need something, ask for it. Hell, if you want something, you can ask for that as well. Be prepared to be denied, but if you're not getting it by never asking, what do you have to lose by trying?

Good luck,

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 2/17/2008 2:39:17 AM >

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Post #: 27

RE: Role reversal - 2/17/2008 8:59:32 AM

hisgirl2011

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what a bully.

say ever think you're no different from those you complain about? keep it to yourself instead of nagging about someone's help, grump.

OP: MistressGA is right, "That is what a Master does. He takes responsibility for himself. He does not need to be begged or henpecked to take his meds and eat the right foods. No, I do not suggest you give up and assume he knows best, because he obviously doesn't know best."

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Post #: 28

RE: Role reversal - 2/17/2008 11:49:07 AM

Justme696

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If a MAster always takes care of his sub..and then gets ill or what ever...is it then weird to expect that his sub takes care of him.
I can't judge about this relation...perhaps he is lazy..not caring for her..(or depressed)..but isn't the other side of the story..that she should be there for him..and not complain?
Relations come from both sides...and when some one is "disabled" then one of the 2 has to work some harder....sounds normal to me. Isn't that just caring?

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RE: Role reversal - 2/17/2008 2:01:59 PM

camille65

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

If a MAster always takes care of his sub..and then gets ill or what ever...is it then weird to expect that his sub takes care of him.
I can't judge about this relation...perhaps he is lazy..not caring for her..(or depressed)..but isn't the other side of the story..that she should be there for him..and not complain?
Relations come from both sides...and when some one is "disabled" then one of the 2 has to work some harder....sounds normal to me. Isn't that just caring?

There are a lot of people who are emotionally or mentally unprepared to make that sort of change. Some don't want to step up to the plate and some are not able to for whatever reason. Should that happen? I don't think it should, but it does. It is difficult to answer on the brief information given by the OP, how long has this been going on? If just a few weeks then I'd say help and ride it through.A few months then I'd say that the OP needs to look for outside help in understanding this.Is his medication the right one for him?Personally from the info given I think he is depressed, it is hard to move to a place where you know no one and sometimes it can be hard to move into another persons home. Perhaps the fact that the OP is the homeowner has given him the feeling that she holds a bit of control? I know for a fact that when married my ex felt incredibly resentful that the house was mine, he felt like an outsider.

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Post #: 30

RE: Role reversal - 2/17/2008 2:06:03 PM

Justme696

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yes propably you are right...changing roles in emergencies..is not put away for all.
That is why I try to keep my subs..and slaves...selfsupporting..and thinking for themselfs partly..to be prepared for possible bad things.

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Post #: 31

RE: Role reversal - 2/17/2008 2:16:32 PM

camille65

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I'm glad that you do. I don't think enough people do that for each other, not just in a D/s sense but in a general sense.Plus some are simply unable to deal with a sudden disability in a partner, it can change the future and can be overwhelming.

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Post #: 32

RE: Role reversal - 2/17/2008 2:19:32 PM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

I'm glad that you do. I don't think enough people do that for each other, not just in a D/s sense but in a general sense.Plus some are simply unable to deal with a sudden disability in a partner, it can change the future and can be overwhelming.

I never thought about such things..but the last 5 years..I know how important it is...

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Post #: 33