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RE: Control.... - 2/11/2008 5:41:14 AM

antipode

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I steer well clear of love. I can't objectify someone I am in love with, let alone madly in love with. It spoils the broth.

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RE: Control.... - 2/11/2008 6:56:24 AM

ExtremeOwnerIL

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

IF you as a "D" type are madly in love with your "s" type.....You "need" them as much as they need you, does that fuck with your head?....Do you wonder or think..."OMG do I really have control here?" or do you think..."Cool, the feelings are mutual, this is awesome."

That's a surprising question - I never saw the connection between having emotions and losing control. I madly love my girl just as much as I madly expect her to serve me and I madly enjoy hurting her and leaving marks and seeing tears. To me, none of that indicates loss of control - rather it's about fulfillment.

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EO

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RE: Control.... - 2/11/2008 7:24:12 AM

Vanatru

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people try to "control" people or situations when they're feeling fear (as in afraid of loosing the person etc). There's a big difference in loving someone deeply and needing them deeply, and for some people there's evidently some confusion between the two. It would hurt to loose someone I love... (this last month, I lost a cousin I had been very close to), but I have no need to control anyone I'm involved with. Such things are the ebb and flow of life.

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RE: Control.... - 2/11/2008 8:46:36 AM

FRSguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

IF you as a "D" type are madly in love with your "s" type.....You "need" them as much as they need you, does that fuck with your head?....Do you wonder or think..."OMG do I really have control here?" or do you think..."Cool, the feelings are mutual, this is awesome."

Nope, I think cool the feelings are mutual. I never really look at it as me having control but rather being granted authority. I need this authority in order to feel certain things so if I lost it I would move on but love does not create a feeling of insecurity or loss of authority.

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RE: Control.... - 2/11/2008 9:00:39 AM

ExtremeOwnerIL

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Vanatru

people try to "control" people or situations when they're feeling fear (as in afraid of loosing the person etc). There's a big difference in loving someone deeply and needing them deeply, and for some people there's evidently some confusion between the two. It would hurt to loose someone I love... (this last month, I lost a cousin I had been very close to), but I have no need to control anyone I'm involved with. Such things are the ebb and flow of life.

I mentally substituted "in authority" in place of "in control" - from your context, yes - that would be true. It does all go back to that well-discussed question of love in the dynamic of D/s.

Regards,
EO

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RE: Control.... - 2/11/2008 9:05:51 AM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

LA and BlackPhx, I see your point....When this question occurred to me, I was more of the mindset that the "D" type was wondering if they had "lost" selfcontrol because of the "need" they would have for the "s" type in their life. It made me wonder if that kind of intense need or desire for another would be unsettling for a "D" type or not. I have seen and read quite a few "D" types that shy away from emotional ties...and was curious if perhaps this might be why....Just me thinking out loud on the boards

Having emotions does not result in a loss of self control. An inability to manage behavior despite the emotions could result in a loss of self control.

He loves and needs Alandra and I, yet he is quite capable of maintaining self control and the authority within our relationship.

Knight's Kyra

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RE: Control.... - 2/11/2008 8:19:32 PM

Huntertn

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its the old ying/yang again Do you have her..or Does she have you..Do you love her or do You just have to Have her...but Fuck man does it really matter if in the end she is still there for you? If you hold out your hand and she comes to you..Enjoy what you have and let the rest take care of itself..Huntertn

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RE: Control.... - 2/12/2008 12:41:46 AM

Justme696

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Huntertn

its the old ying/yang again Do you have her..or Does she have you..Do you love her or do You just have to Have her...but Fuck man does it really matter if in the end she is still there for you? If you hold out your hand and she comes to you..Enjoy what you have and let the rest take care of itself..Huntertn

yes soemtimes..we shouldn't try to explain things..but just enjoy them
thinking can be a crime :P

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