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Prinsexx -> RE: A question about slavery (2/10/2008 4:17:37 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: chelle35
hi, this is my first time posting anything, but i have a question.. my Master and i are online for right now but in the near future Wwe will be together 24/7, well, He wants me to be a no limits slave. i understand He owns my heart body and soul, and i would do anything for Him, does that mean. i wont have any limits. i mean none at all? or can a no limit slave have a few hard limits? He is a Sadist, so i understand what is in store for me.. but still.. i need to know if i wont have any limits at all. yes i know i need to talk to Him about this. i have a fear that He may take it to where i cant handle something lol. but i know i will grow to like it slowly. may i have Yyour opinons on this its really important to me. thank Yyou all for Yyour advice or opinons.
Welcome chelle35
Here is a description of limits taken from Informed Consent, adapted from Wikipedia:
In the BDSM world, limits refer to activities that a partner feels strongly about, and to which special attention must be paid. Before a BDSM scene, it is common to perform a negotiation to outline what will and will not happen during the play session. During this time, all participants outline what they desire and what they will not tolerate. This is the time to discuss limits. Both Dominants and submissives can (and perhaps should) express limits. They can be spoken or written, and discussing them fully usually results in an improved experience for all involved. Popular variants include: Hard Limit - something that must not be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship. Examples include scat is a hard limit for me Soft Limit - something that someone will do only in special circumstances or when highly aroused/prepared. Example - I will only do anal sex with a very experienced partner "Must" limit - something that a person will not do the scene without. Examples include lots of hair pulling is a must-limit for me or If you're going to flog me, I'll need lots of aftercare Time limit - an amount of time after which play ceases. No Limits - the Dominant may do anything he/she cares to with the submissive. This is usually a sign of an inexperienced player who does not yet know what their limits are and can be very dangerous. In reality, even the most hardened and experienced players have limits (consider being thrown under a train, for fun). 'No limits' play is more the stuff of porn and thriller movies than in actual, real-life BDSM scenes. When in a long-term relationship with a known and fully-trusted partner, it can be safe to rely on your knowledge of the partner to keep to safe limits; this is also sometimes used as a term for TPE or Total Power Exchange.
I find my limits are wider or more extensive and permissive than Dominants I have played with, I find that my limits are more extensive than their partners who might be straight because I am bi and that is a hard limit for a traight woman. Everypne's and I stress, in my opinion, everyone's pain liit is different and indeed it fluctuates at certain times of a scene or indeed is most variable during certain phases of a menstral cycle.but it needs a deep understanding between a dominant and a submissive to really understan what a particular limit is.
For example it might not be the actual electro sensation which is the limit but the pressure of the tens clip which is too tight and then overrides the senstaion limit of the tens.Now wen we get into the arena of emotional sado-masochism there we have invisible limits unobserveable as behaviour. And emotional sado-masochism is something that, when limits are transgressed, can cause triggers, psychlogical reactance, and sometimes trauma (or sometimes ecstasy).
I love to 'confess' limits or lack of then andmake that confession part of a scene.There are limits I have pushed that I would never have allowed outside of the person who 'broke' me.Therefore I would say that for me to have 'no limits' would be just tedious and take out much ofwhat is the dynamic anyway.But for others, and I do know a pain slut slave who does indeed appear to have no limits, no limits is part of their dynamic. In this instance though he is a sadistic top and in my opinion it leads to physical brutality and harm for his slave which excludes one of the three tenes of bdsm: safety.
So heres to sanity, safety and consensuality and the wonderful 'concept' of no limits, the concept which by its very name 'no limits' implies its opposite. Don't rely upon it as an ideal or indeed something you imagine in your head. YOUR limits apply to YOU and not to me or anyone else in the entire bdsm universe.
Who would really want a no limits slave anyway? Fait accomplis n'est pa?
- Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame, and Jon Jacobs. "Different Loving: An Exploration of the World of Sexual Dominance and Submission." New York: Villard Books, 1993. ISBN 0-679-40873-8.
- Philip Miller and Molly Devon, "Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism." Mystic Rose Books, 1995. ISBN 0964596008.
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