RE: trying to decide....

RE: trying to decide.... (Full Version)

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crouchingtigress -> RE: trying to decide.... (2/17/2008 9:09:05 AM)
i have read you solved your problem, but i just wanted to ask if you have had a good look at how your thoughts and beliefs could have created this situation? is it possible that you enjoy folks fighting over you? competing for you? is it possible that you egged them on?

BlackPhx -> RE: trying to decide.... (2/17/2008 9:32:08 AM)
Ok Justme696 I am not sure where you got the impression things went wrong as in the post I did say it was damn fun and we are still good friends with Bill. I would not mind working over poenkitten from both ends with his aide again. I also would not be adverse to sharing poenkitten's masochism with another dominant I knew really well and she was really comfortable with. I would like to think I am not the jealous type and it was a fantasy of mine for the longest time as well. I put into action (well we actually, she invited Bill with my permission and approval) not just to fulfill my fantasy but to test myself, to see if I was truely secure in my relationship with my slave to see if I could trust her implictly. It was also a test to see if poenkitten would do something she was unconfortable with for me. A lot of submissives and slaves say they care enough about your needs to do what ever you want but when push comes to shove they withdraw the consent card which can have dreadful repercussions if you don't heed it's value (see the thread "Not sane, not safe, but always consentual" In the general discussion board). In all cases I believe we both have passed all the tests and I look forward in the future to dual sadistic use with another dominant that can earn both of our trust. But, that would just be play and not an ongoing relationship. The event added a dimension to keep our relationship dynamic growing and cementing our love and appreciation of each other. But, to reach this level of trust and respect took 3 years to achieve and be comfortable with. I would also like to point out I love and appreciate and would never leave poenkitten for another she means that much to me. Even given that much compatibility there are gaps in our sexual drive and how we express it that has sorely tempted me to fill the gap. I am patient and I will wait until she is ready and secure and we find a submissive we both can trust, and is accepting of both of us in return before venturing into that arena.To me being a dominant is to lead by example, with due consideration and diligence to all the persons involved. Anything less is irresponsible. Hopefully that answers your question Justme696 Humbly and confidently still learning and growing after 20 years of kink BlackPhx

Justme696 -> RE: trying to decide.... (2/17/2008 9:36:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlackPhx Ok Justme696 I am not sure where you got the impression things went wrong as in the post I did say it was damn fun and we are still good friends with Bill. I would not mind working over poenkitten from both ends with his aide again. I also would not be adverse to sharing poenkitten's masochism with another dominant I knew really well and she was really comfortable with. I would like to think I am not the jealous type and it was a fantasy of mine for the longest time as well. I put into action (well we actually, she invited Bill with my permission and approval) not just to fulfill my fantasy but to test myself, to see if I was truely secure in my relationship with my slave to see if I could trust her implictly. It was also a test to see if poenkitten would do something she was unconfortable with for me. A lot of submissives and slaves say they care enough about your needs to do what ever you want but when push comes to shove they withdraw the consent card which can have dreadful repercussions if you don't heed it's value (see the thread "Not sane, not safe, but always consentual" In the general discussion board). In all cases I believe we both have passed all the tests and I look forward in the future to dual sadistic use with another dominant that can earn both of our trust. But, that would just be play and not an ongoing relationship. The event added a dimension to keep our relationship dynamic growing and cementing our love and appreciation of each other. But, to reach this level of trust and respect took 3 years to achieve and be comfortable with. I would also like to point out I love and appreciate and would never leave poenkitten for another she means that much to me. Even given that much compatibility there are gaps in our sexual drive and how we express it that has sorely tempted me to fill the gap. I am patient and I will wait until she is ready and secure and we find a submissive we both can trust, and is accepting of both of us in return before venturing into that arena.To me being a dominant is to lead by example, with due consideration and diligence to all the persons involved. Anything less is irresponsible. Hopefully that answers your question Justme696 Humbly and confidently still learning and growing after 20 years of kink BlackPhx the word "tried " made me assume it didn't work out. quote: I have tried double doming , Else it would been "I have double Dommed". I was curious about that. And thank you for taking so much time to explain. Sounds wonderfull you can all do that together.

persephonee -> RE: trying to decide.... (2/17/2008 10:50:54 AM)
but i just wanted to ask if you have had a good look at how your thoughts and beliefs could have created this situation? is it possible that you enjoy folks fighting over you? competing for you? is it possible that you egged them on? That was never my intent at all...and prior to my post i was just as guilty as they of egging each other on...once i did discuss it in detail with them both...we all agreed to stop discussing eachother all together in that way. No specifics....avoid detailed questions....schedule carefully so no one feels slighted in what they can do in session...eg: no injuries/sore spots that interfere with the others pleasure or wishes. Its more constraining for me than them at this point. But the payoff is that i play with both, learn from both and we all are working very hard to make progress as a whole...without actually being one...so it is shortlived im sure...id love to find a way to blend them more...but at this point im already asking enough/some would think too much. When im ready to submit, if one of Them were to wish it so....that is probably what would happen. Meanwhile, my initial goal in creating this situation stands....teach me and i will learn. That was my original and continued intent. If life changes things then we will adjust accordingly...but no, to answer your question...fighting over me was not my intent. And it was not enjoyable and thus the original post. This thread has been extremely helpful to me and heartening to know that so many have an opinion...lets keep it going until i manage to get my act together...shall we? lol.... But really, i check everyday and appreciate all responses....persephone(e)

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