Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Is Bisexual play bisexual?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is Bisexual play bisexual? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 5:36:31 AM   
Tslaveboy


Posts: 211
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		I have some playmates who are Dommes and occasionally we do forced bi. It's a lot of fun but the question has come up, "does that make me a bisexual?"

Honestly I don't consider myself bisexual and I know people think that if there is sexual contact between two men, it's "like...duh!" bisexual. But to me it doesn't feel bisexual at all. 

I just want to hear other thoughts.  
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 5:56:38 AM   
Faeorie


Posts: 74
Joined: 1/30/2008
Status: offline 		I had the same kind of problem at one time, wondering if I was bisecual or not. The thing was, I was sexually attracted to males and females. The only limit with females is that I hated pussy. Just did NOT want to go there for some reason. I had friends tell me "well if you won't go down on a chick, then you're not bi." Still, in my opinion I'm bi. I've played with a girl before and enjoyed it, but I've only dated guys before. Not really cuz they were guys, but because they were people I connected with. I see sexual orientation as connected to attraction. If you are attracted to men and women, then you are bi. If you enjoy playing with other men once in a while, but don't necessarily find guys attractive then you're not bi. Still, I don't like the sexuality labels, because when it comes down to loving somebody, sexuality doesn't matter. All that matters are your feelings for that person and vice versa. 

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 6:13:06 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline 		Force Bi does not make you Bi. Enjoying the experience because of the power aspect of being “forced” does not make you Bi it is you enjoy someone actively using power over you.

You are Bi if on some level you enjoy/attracted to the same sex in some way. There is a wide variety of what degree someone can be Bi from very specific feeling or action to forming complete monogamous relationships with either gender.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 6:32:18 AM   
AtlantaMistress


Posts: 276
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		I have had several boys tell me this is their "ultimate fantasy" in regard to power exchange. Thy insist that they do not have any attraction to men at all, but the idea of being forced to suck a man's cock - to prove their devotion and loyalty to pleasing me is the ultimate in TPE. Honestly, when I first got into D/s, I asked the same question - and wondered if they really had bi-tendancies/fantasies that they just wanted to play out in a way that allowed them to sleep at night and seeing one guy go down on another did not in any way interest me. It wasn't until I had a sub that was hard to "break" to truly know he was submitting that I did a forced bi scene, and the power trip was phenomenal. Having someone do something they would NEVER otherwise do - and share that kind of intimate secret, has definitely proven to be much more than just a rationalization for a same sex sexual encounter.

_____________________________

Mistress Sandy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'd rather be hated for something I am than loved for something I am not.


(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 7:31:59 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		as "forced" is not forced as beeing raped.....I see forced bi sexuality as bi sexuality. If they really don't like it..they can have it as hard limit, not?

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to AtlantaMistress)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 7:35:14 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't believe in forced bi-sexuality....it you have a dick in your mouth, and you are a man, you are bi

Jeff

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 7:39:26 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Maybe not...maybe it can be mitigated by incentive.

In the adult film industry there is much more $$ to be made in  Male/Male gay porn.
So much so, that straight performers have begun acting in them...in the business it is referred to as "gay for pay".

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 7:43:46 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I understand that in theory.......... but in reality?.....I must disagree. That implies that  it is strictly a financial arrangement. I would say that you would only act if it was not uncomfortable. By definition Bi-sexuality means have sex with a man or a woman.

Jeff

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 7:46:19 AM   
TotalState


Posts: 278
Joined: 9/3/2007
Status: offline 		Honestly, who cares?  If you enjoy it (or love to hate it, in case of "forced bi"), who cares what label is attached to it?

Personally, I'd say the bisexual label fits - there are, after all, varying degrees of bisexuality, and there is really no point in making homophobia feel bad about yourself.  In the end, it's nobody's concern but yours and your partner's/partners'.

< Message edited by TotalState -- 2/11/2008 7:47:45 AM >

_____________________________

Spanking with a smile, living with feeling.

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 8:07:36 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

as "forced" is not forced as beeing raped.....I see forced bi sexuality as bi sexuality. If they really don't like it..they can have it as hard limit, not?


In all honesty when filtered through the power exchange aspect it is quite on the hypocrisy side.

Imagine if every submissive here listed all the things in general they do not like to do and called them hard limits. The lists would be huge and dominant after dominant would call them out as fakes.

Imagine these same submissives then listed these things would not be hard limits if under the context of their relationship and in particular the appeal of the power manifestation and you would see these lists shrink to what we see normally.

The if they do it must be is just too simple and draped in judgmental thoughts. It is the same as saying a woman who likes rape play would enjoy actually getting raped.


_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 8:37:50 AM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Faeorie

IThe thing was, I was sexually attracted to males and females. The only limit with females is that I hated pussy. Just did NOT want to go there for some reason. I had friends tell me "well if you won't go down on a chick, then you're not bi."


So, I guess straight guys who don't like to go down on their girlfriends aren't straight?  I, personally, love doing it, but I could see somebody disliking it.  Sexuality, in my opinion, is your attraction to people and not to acts.

That being said, the "forced-bi" fantasy is, in my opinion, just a way for people who want to try bi acts to do it without having to say they're bisexual.  After all, if it's forced, then they -clearly- didn't do it of their own free will and they're not bisexual.

However, they consent to be "forced" so I'd say that they are indeed merely bisexual and love being guided by a woman through thier fantasies.

Of course, I'm sure this particular kink varies like all the others do.  There are likely some men who see a Mistress and hope she's just going to hook him up with various male partners.  For all intents and purposes...she becomes a prop.  Now, I'm also sure there's people who genuinely -aren't- bisexual and are comfortable enough to commit sex acts with men in order to please thier Mistress...

I just don't think they're the majority.

DV's Fox

(in reply to Faeorie)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 8:51:36 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

The if they do it must be is just too simple and draped in judgmental thoughts. It is the same as saying a woman who likes rape play would enjoy actually getting raped.



But is she truly couldn't stand it, then it could be a hard limit

Jeff

Jeff

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 9:02:03 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

The if they do it must be is just too simple and draped in judgmental thoughts. It is the same as saying a woman who likes rape play would enjoy actually getting raped.



But is she truly couldn't stand it, then it could be a hard limit

Jeff

Jeff


WTF?

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 9:03:38 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I give up........huh?

Did I misunderstand you?

Jeff

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 9:25:18 AM   
glycerine


Posts: 20
Joined: 9/29/2006
Status: offline 		Does it really matter?  I would consider myself to be bisexual since I do find women attractive and respond to them in a sexual way.  However, I am in a strictly monagamous heterosexual relationship right now.  Does that mean that I am only "part-time bi"?  Bisexuality is just a label, and as we have already seen in this thread, it really is up to the individual to express their own personal definition of it.   I would probably define 'forced' homosexual play as non-bisexual unless there was a physical attraction to members of both sexes.
Many times submissives will consent to "forced" play to show loyalty.  As AtlantaMistress pointed out, this is an example of a true show of devotion, doing something that you would otherwise never entertain thoughts about.  This in no way makes them willing to have same-sex relations in a vanilla world.
After consulting the oracle for a definition on 'bisexuality', (I just LOVE Google!), conflicting definitions popped up.  Some will say it is what you feel; others what you do.  So I guess you just pick one and go with it.
 

_____________________________

Good Sense is always easier to Have than to Use.

it might just be
clear, simple and plain
That's just fine
that's just one of my names
--------------------------------Bush

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 9:35:40 AM   
Nineveh


Posts: 1299
Joined: 2/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I don't believe in forced bi-sexuality....it you have a dick in your mouth, and you are a man, you are bi

Jeff


That definition may be useful to you, but it doesn't seem to me that it is likely to be useful to the OP.


To me it is a spectrum, the man who wants to be forced to be bi, even though he is not attracted to men, may be more bi than the man who puts it as a hard limit, but he is still far less bi than the man who occasionally engages in drunken sex with men, and he is far less bi than the man who is openly and happily bi.  In my opinion we all have a little bi in us, but someone who is close to one end of the spectrum or the other doesn't really have any use in calling themself bi.  i would say someone who tolerates it for the power exchange aspects is straight.  I know I consider myself straight even though I enjoy having power over men, and enjoy inflicting pain on them.  I can easily see a situation where I would enjoy receiving oral from a man because of the power aspect of it.  I see that as a Dominant corrolary to the OP's situation and don't consider myself Bi, even if another would.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 9:45:24 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ok... I can see your point. Frankly, bi. hetero, home, makes no difference to me. People should be what they want to be as much a possible. Like most things it comes down to how you define it. You and I can easily agree to disagree

Jeff

(in reply to Nineveh)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 9:50:44 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I don't believe in forced bi-sexuality....it you have a dick in your mouth, and you are a man, you are bi

Jeff


With all due respect Jefff (which in this case is quite a bit), I think you have to understand there's a big difference between getting enjoyment out of the service of doing something for another and doing it for yourself.  If one acts with a partner of the same sex merely because of the desire of their D type and would not do it on their own, it is nowhere near the same as truly being bisexual.  There are many things I would do for another that are not something I would seek out on my own, the fact that I will do them doesn't make them my preference. (having sex with the same sex isn't one of those for me, but that is how I started out doing so)

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 2/11/2008 9:51:29 AM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 9:58:43 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ok.....I am sure I bring my own  preconceived notions to this. I will  also say that I am looking at it from a strictly male point of view. I also answered rather dramatically and sarcasticly.....for my own amusement..:) 

Jeff

and thanks I have great respect for you also

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 2/11/2008 10:00:34 AM >

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is Bisexual play bisexual? - 2/11/2008 10:04:00 AM   
DommeKimberly


Posts: 73
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: toservez

Force Bi does not make you Bi. Enjoying the experience because of the power aspect of being “forced” does not make you Bi it is you enjoy someone actively using power over you.

You are Bi if on some level you enjoy/attracted to the same sex in some way. There is a wide variety of what degree someone can be Bi from very specific feeling or action to forming complete monogamous relationships with either gender.



I total agree with toserve.

_____________________________

I just am who I am, blunt and truthful.

(in reply to toservez)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Is Bisexual play bisexual? Page: [1] 2 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.156