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RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 12:10:45 PM

ELUSIVE1

Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

It's a personality trait of some people. They require drama, sometimes the roots are from their childhood. I would ignore it in order to make it go away. If we are talking about drama on the message board, I dig it.

yeah-- me too....some people takes these boards way too serious

< Message edited by ELUSIVE1 -- 2/11/2008 12:14:51 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 12:32:44 PM

Owner4SexSlave

Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline

Deal with it the same way, you would with anybody else. Drama is Drama and it happens with those outside the lifestyle as well. I really don't see this lifestyle as being a magnet for attraction Drama Queens though.

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)

Post #: 22

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 1:44:12 PM

Gleegal67

Posts: 218
Joined: 6/18/2007
From: Phoenix
Status: offline

Personally, I grab the popcorn and enjoy the show.
Granted, I do like to comment throughout the Drama. The "actors" hate my commentary or heckles!

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Post #: 23

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 1:49:14 PM

fluffyswitch

Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline

fast reply--
it's not just this lifestyle. i think some people thrive on it. they don't like it if they don't have something to be angry about so they make up stuff as they go along. personally i think it comes from a certain level of insecurity, you have to have the attention. i'm playing this game with one of my friends right now. i'm finally happy and not around her all the time so of course i'm insulting her partner and obsessive about someone (though i concur on the last part, but at the same time i KNOW i've told her about that part of my mental health, it comes with the territory and trust me i've attempted the whole behavioral therapy thing). i love her but i don't want to play this game anymore. i just don't care enough.

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Post #: 24

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 1:49:18 PM

ELUSIVE1

Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia

I feel the way about drama threads as fat people feel about fat people threads. I'm a self proclaimed drama queen. I do not wreak havoc in other peoples lives. Only in my own.

I cry a little more. I laugh a little harder. Get over it.

And the drama on these boards? Well, sometimes it makes me want to shoot myself in the face. (hows that for drama?)

I loved this post. :)

Especially the bolded part. Master says all I do is intense. All I feel is intense. And the way I express it is intense. It is why he had patience with the negative emotions, because he loved the positive. Learning to channel those energies into expressing them without all the wailing and gnashing of teeth was a challenge, but the energy behind my emotions is still as intense as it ever was. The difference now is I deal with problems rather than look for them. :)

I find dealing with intense emotions completely draining. . .and I cannot say I am better at the end of an emotional ordeal for having dealt with it...

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"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

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Post #: 25

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 1:50:34 PM

divi

Posts: 11109
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline

Drama is all around us. It's not a lifestyle thang it's a life thing....

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Post #: 26

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 2:37:39 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

Is it just me, or does this lifestlye community seem to attract drama queens?? ...how do you handle drama within your bdsm family/community??

I tend to hold up a mirror...

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)

Post #: 27

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 2:43:43 PM

Faeorie

Posts: 74
Joined: 1/30/2008
Status: offline

Usually if a friend starts some drama around me, I just state, "drama drama, llama lama." Not sure why, but it seems to put them off... unless its something that they really need help with (i.e. when my cousins husband died, that wasn't you everyday run-of -the-mill drama.)

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 28

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 3:03:08 PM

ELUSIVE1

Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

Is it just me, or does this lifestlye community seem to attract drama queens?? ...how do you handle drama within your bdsm family/community??

I tend to hold up a mirror...

and is the mirror effective??
some seem to create drama too--I got an email form an owned slave because her 'Master' was openly flirting with me on the forums....BFD--I always thought flirting was just that - flirting, harmless fun..

_____________________________

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality"

*Poe
http://alt.com/blog/ELUSIVE1NC
http://users.adultspace.com/ELUSIVE1NC/

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 29

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 3:22:49 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

and is the mirror effective??

Not this time.

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)

Post #: 30

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 4:30:51 PM

MmeGigs

Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline

Some folks talked about being intense, expressive or emotional. I don't think that these things make one a drama queen. I cry a lot - when Bambi's mom dies, when I'm around someone who is sad and crying, when I want to throttle someone and can't - and I get pretty excitable and very danged definite about some things, but I don't think that anyone would describe me as a drama queen. I've known a lot of very expressive and intense folks who were completely practical and rational and rarely got involved in interpersonal drama, and I've know some deep-down, through-and-through drama queens who were (or appeared to be) very low-key and subdued.

I'm sure a lot of folks out there have heard of the Serenity Prayer. If I had to come up with a definition for "drama queen", I'd say it's someone who does this thing backwards. They struggle to change things that they have no power to change, accept (usually with a lot of whining) things that they could do something about, and sometimes appear to actively avoid gaining the wisdom to know the difference.

Here's some profundity for you - In the cosmic pinball game that they perceive life to be, they are not the flippers, they are the balls. :D

As others have pointed out, it's impossible to be out around people and never be exposed to drama queenery, but there are things one can do to minimize one's exposure. Seek out people who know why they do the things they do and take responsibility for the decisions that they make. Be wary of folks who are anxious to spill their guts to you. Avoid folks who get wound up about other people's drama.

Don't gossip. Gossip is a commodity. Folks who gossip prefer the company of those who have some dirt to dish in exchange and for obvious reasons the gossips are tied into the drama queens. If you don't gossip, you don't risk getting in with the drama queens through the back door, as it were, and you may tend to fall in with the non-drama-queeny folks.

(in reply to Faeorie)

Post #: 31

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 4:47:23 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia

I feel the way about drama threads as fat people feel about fat people threads. I'm a self proclaimed drama queen. I do not wreak havoc in other peoples lives. Only in my own.

I cry a little more. I laugh a little harder. Get over it.

And the drama on these boards? Well, sometimes it makes me want to shoot myself in the face. (hows that for drama?)

I loved this post. :)

Especially the bolded part. Master says all I do is intense. All I feel is intense. And the way I express it is intense. It is why he had patience with the negative emotions, because he loved the positive. Learning to channel those energies into expressing them without all the wailing and gnashing of teeth was a challenge, but the energy behind my emotions is still as intense as it ever was. The difference now is I deal with problems rather than look for them. :)

I find dealing with intense emotions completely draining. . .and I cannot say I am better at the end of an emotional ordeal for having dealt with it...

Depends what those intense emotions are, I think, but if you see all intensity as draining, you'd be wise to not be with an intense person. For us, it makes the passion between us phenomenal, and my love for him divine, and our fun times hilarious (all in my humble opinion, however). It has worked well for me to learn to channel the intensity in ways that are enjoyable and leave us both energized and satisfied. Being intense doesn't mean never lightening up and having fun. Fortunately for me my owner loves this part of me. :)

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)

Post #: 32

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 4:53:06 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

I think there is a big difference in being a drama queen and being an emotional, passionate person. To me drama queens are always stirring the pot, trying to be the center of attention with whatever is going on in their life with no regard to anyone else, trying to put their issues (good or bad) at the forefront. Being an emotional, passionate person allows you to show your feelings, good or bad, and then you move on, but you also care about others and can show compassion, sympathy, love, happiness, anger, etc.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 33

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 5:05:35 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

I agree, kallisto. The point I was illustrating is that I used to be little miss annoying drama queen but learned to shed that and enjoy the passion that lies beneath, once I could channel it to be healthier. Then again, there are some (like the OP) who do not like intensity, and that's their cup-o-tea as well. Another example of the uniqueness of us all. :)

(in reply to kallisto)

Post #: 34

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:01:47 PM

chellekitty

Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

The difference now is I deal with problems rather than look for them.

that is a big difference...i guess the part that i struggle with is if it is a problem i can help with, but it is not my problem, when it my place to do so? i detest chosen apathetic behavior almost more than straight out cruelty... "it's not my problem" is a disgusting phrase to me...and if i go any further i will rant...so...i will stop...

chelle

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Post #: 35

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:14:48 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

Hi chelle,

In such a case I'll usually ask the person if they want some help dealing with whatever is going on. If they say no, then so be it - my help is not welcome and I will not impose it. If they say yes, I might ask them questions designed to come up with their own answers, and I might offer my suggestions or insight. The key is to not take on the problems of my own, so if they don't take my help...well that's their choice. I might be disappointed but other than that, I'm not all that affected by it. We all have the ability to make our own choices. I can't be held accountable for the choices (however dumb) someone else makes, no matter how much I may care about the person. As hard as it is to watch someone screw up, the consequences of that screw up belongs to that person. Sometimes people have to reach their own bottom in order to turn around. I will still love them, but I won't go down with them.

(in reply to chellekitty)

Post #: 36

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 10:52:50 PM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

I watch, listen, and be careful who i trust. I don't live in a bubble, but I don't get really close to those I can tell aren't true.

Over all. I am friendly to everyone, and truely do love meeting new people.

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Post #: 37

RE: Drama Queens - 2/11/2008 11:17:51 PM

corsetgirl

Posts: 824
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ELUSIVE1

some seem to create drama too--I got an email form an owned slave because her 'Master' was openly flirting with me on the forums....BFD--I always thought flirting was just that - flirting, harmless fun..

Geez, that sounds like a very insecure, jealous slave who has problems not being the center of attention! Major drama queen.

I read a book, maybe compose some poetry, which really channels all of my anger and negative feelings to those who have hurt me and move on in an healthy manner.

(in reply to ELUSIVE1)

Post #: 38

RE: Drama Queens - 2/12/2008 12:47:33 AM

heartcream

Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline

When I see "Drama Queens", I think of Vanessa Redgrave, Maggie Smith, Dame Judy Dench. Man, I would LOVE to see one of them here.

I agree with folks differentiating emotions from 'drama'. In our society intense feelings are often looked down upon, in a sort of 'losing control', or, 'manic' kind of judgement. I find that a sad state of our world. Men have an especially hard time if they tend toward emotions.

I have experienced folks I would consider, Drama Queens, as immature, spoiled, out of it, shallow, and not very in touch with themselves, or others. This is not to say I have not acted like an arse myself at times, because I have. Under it all is some denied, supressed emotion usually, like fear, rage or grief.

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Post #: 39

RE: Drama Queens - 2/12/2008 1:22:44 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I don't. This sort of idiocy is why I am strictly private-it gives me total control.

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Post #: 40

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