RE: When has a Dom/Master Gone TOO far?

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RE: When has a Dom/Master Gone TOO far? - 1/26/2008 11:06:57 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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I am sorry, but I will never understand the need to ask others when you think someone has gone too far.

Don't YOU know when someone crosses the line with you?? No one else can draw that line in the sand for you, I don't care if you are 18 or 80. When someone goes too far with me, I scream, you are going too far asshole!! Duh.

Everyone keeps despairing over big bad Doms...please. Subs/slaves need to take responsibility for themselves. To paraphrase in my own way, as Catize said, being involved in this world does not give one a lobotomy.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 1/26/2008 11:07:44 AM >

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RE: When has a Dom/Master Gone TOO far? - 1/26/2008 11:19:00 AM

Kerjin

Posts: 41
Joined: 10/21/2005
From: Seattle, WA
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Well said sexyred1, well said.

I especially agree with the lobotomy statement!

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RE: When has a Dom/Master Gone TOO far? - 1/26/2008 12:39:48 PM

AtlantisKing111

Posts: 181
Joined: 1/14/2005
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Tell them that Doms who want them to do "whatever they want" better also spend time ascertaining just what they the subs like and do not like. If it is not about mutual enjoyment (even if what is being enjoyed is pain or humiliation) then the Dom should be avoided.

Tell them that safewords should never be cast aside during the inital stages of a relationship. A good Dom/Master will want to know a sub/slave's limits and have them spelled out fairly explicitly so they can interract well with the sub/slave. Only when two people have spent a good chuck of time together can safewords start to be let go, and even then the Dom better know where the lines are and be willing to back off if a long-unused safeword pops up unexpectedly.

Tell them that Doms who do not want them to talk to others are usually mere manipulators. Granted there may be one or two people who are a bad influence on the sub and they would be better off not interracting much with those people, but the sub should never have to cut off the whole BDSM community. Communication is a large part of what the community is FOR.

That's my two cents at any rate.

(in reply to carefulsub)

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RE: When has a Dom/Master Gone TOO far? - 1/26/2008 5:32:34 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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I bet they picked bad vanilla partners also. Not to belittle them, but if you have a string of bad relationships you have to conclude that you have problems picking healthy partners. After all, the only constant in all their relationships is them. I can't imagine that they didn't have gut feelings concerning this, but they chose to ignore their feelings. Because they come from unhealthy backgrounds, because their instincts were ridiculed, because they're so desperate for love that they accept abuse? None of this is specifically D/s. It is however specifically human.

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RE: When has a Dom/Master Gone TOO far? - 1/26/2008 8:18:58 PM

BoundDown

Posts: 76
Joined: 11/25/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: carefulsub

Then these giels are told they are not to talk to anyone about their experiences. Even after they have left these Dom/Masters care. I enjoy sharing my submissive experiences with my sister submissives and find it gives me perspective at times. I'm sorry but "sister" submissives is sexist; it implys that only females are submissives. sorry just had to highlight that.

I can not understand why a Dom/Master would want to hide in such a manner? or want me to hide in this manner? Because there is a vey real threat this is the beginning of an abusive relationship. RED FLAG.
What should I tell these girls? If it doesn't feel right, doesn't make you feel fullfilled: Run! get out! go with your gut instincts. There are some people who are sadisitic in a not so good way, that use this relationship expression to find willing victums. I find them to be the exception.
Most simply don't know how to truly dom and do these things because they have been brainwashed by others that subscribe to the "one true way" school of WIITWD. Maybe they could tell their partners, if we don't get involved in the community, read a certain book together (The Loving Dominat is one) then the funtime is over. Use it as a means to educate the, hopefully, ignorant.

careful

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RE: When has a Dom/Master Gone TOO far? - 1/27/2008 12:30:06 PM

Justme696

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Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

When has a Dom/Master Gone TOO far?

When I read it my first reaction was; call your friends and beat him up. And then tell him , don't talk about it .
yes I am beware it is not ok, but no one has the right to go to far.

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