heartcream
Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007 From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop Status: offline
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A friend sent me this and I think it is pretty funny... > Dear Mr. Minister, > > I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and > still cannot believe this. > > How is it that Radio Shack has my address and > telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. > cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal > Government is still asking me where I was born and > on what date. > > For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? > > My birth date you have on my social insurance card, > and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for > the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance > card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn > passports I've had, on all those stupid customs > declaration forms I've had to fill out before being > allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and > all those insufferable census forms that are done at > election times. > > Would somebody please take note, once and for all, > that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name > is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that > ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! > > SHIT! > > I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off > this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of > this bullshit! You send the application to my house, > then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is > going on? You have a gang of Neanderthals assholes > workin' there! > > Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I > don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. > I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. > > And would someone please tell me, why would you give > a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next > 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something > weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure > as hell not want to tell anyone! > > Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the > other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy > of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60 !!! > > Would it be so complicated to have all the services > in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new > passport the same day?? > > Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make > sense. You'd rather have us running all over the > fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, > then find some asshole to confirm that it's really > me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where > we're not allowed to smile?! > > (fuckin' morons) > > Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally > pissed off! > > Signed - An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen. > > P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture > and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, > my family has been in this country since 1776 when > one of my forefathers took up arms against the > Americans. I have served in the military for > something over 30 years and have had security > clearances up the yingyang. > > I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our > province for ten years and I have been doing > volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years. > > However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify > who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS > BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA !!! > > > Hamilton , Ontario Canada >
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"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh I'd Rather Be With You Every single line means something. Jean-Michel Basquiat
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