RE: Am I wasting my time with CM?

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RE: Am I wasting my time with CM? - 2/14/2008 9:05:53 AM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Akinta

As a side note: Were I to have emailed you,a nd you checked my profile, found us not to your liking.. would you have responded stating so? I'm starting to believe only the people who post here on the forums are actually "serious" about things. I don't usually make posts here, but I may have to make a greater effort in the future if this turns out true.

Well, I started here in the forums, so I guess you could throw me on the serious side of things. I would have responded, although I would like to think I'm gracious about it. If someone obviously has read some of my journal entries (by commenting on something), or obviously has read some of my posts, I tend to write longer responses. But up until a couple of days ago, the first line of my profile said "I'm not looking for anyone right now", so if someone was writing to me to go in that direction (relationship), I would just thank them for taking the time to write to me and maybe explain why I wasn't looking right now, wish them well, etc., etc.

The person that I found (well, found me), started with just friendly conversation about what was going on in my life. I think that's important. And I do think people get to know you better in the forums than just what is presented on the personals side.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to Akinta)

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Post #: 41

RE: Am I wasting my time with CM? - 2/14/2008 9:32:51 AM

charlotte12

Posts: 471
Joined: 5/9/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

The person that I found (well, found me), started with just friendly conversation about what was going on in my life. I think that's important. And I do think people get to know you better in the forums than just what is presented on the personals side.

Cali

Ditto. Master wrote this girl based off of something she had said here on the forums and was casual and friendly about it. He didn't have much in his profile at the time but charlotte had noticed him on the forums before so wrote him back a friendly email and things went from there.

One thing that should also be mentioned is the number of emails people get. This slave knows that this is brought up in every thread like this but would like to add something new to the mix. It's not just a matter of responding to the emails with a simple yes or no. Often (when charlotte was looking for a partner) she would get a couple emails a day from people who were interesting. A friendly email in response mentioning something interesting in the person's profile and asking a question would be pounced upon and taken as hardcore interest. Charlotte would end up with 6 or 7 people she was "getting to know" at once and would end up having to say "no thank you" to most of them even if she didn't know yet whether they would truly be a good match or not. They were expecting a lot more time than she was able to devote yet. This is not meant to say that everyone is playing the field and just can't make up their minds but this girl is simply pointing out that often the people she was conversing with were so happy to get a reply (due to lack of response from other people) that they began to focus on her to an extent she was not able to return leaving everyone feeling uncomfortable. So charlotte's advice is to keep in mind that someone actively seeking a partner is probably going to be talking to a few people at times and the way one can stand out is by not necessarily expecting long, in depth discussions right away. If casual exchanges draw a girl in she will be more likely to start to spend more time wanting to talk than if she has 5 initial emails that are interesting from well thought out profiles but does not having the time to respond honestly and personally to each one.

Or maybe charlotte is just too nice and found too many people interesting.

Just this slave's thoughts,

charlotte

*edited for missing words*

< Message edited by charlotte12 -- 2/14/2008 9:35:00 AM >

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"I'm not superior, I'm just more important." Master (Stephann)

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(in reply to CalifChick)

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Post #: 42

RE: Am I wasting my time with CM? - 2/14/2008 9:00:51 PM

Akinta

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/16/2004
Status: offline

Again, thanks for your comments. I would have to agree, and I've never written to someone who said "not looking" unless it was regarding a question in their profile (most of which get returned). So to clarify, it has been more in regards to the women who ARE availible (so profile says) and who are seeking a male-dom or dom/domme couple. I don't search for anything but, and if I see a profile where someone is more interested in being a slave to play with only one or the other, I don't email.

charlotte, that's something I'd considered. There could be a high number of people actually taking the time to read and respond, or my in-depth email may be too daunting. That's a whole different issue in my mind, since some of the responses to my long emails are usually one-liners from the sub/slave begging not to have people send one-liners to them =D not so much a problem, but I do find it amusing, and perhaps could explain why people don't respond in the "too much effort" sense.

As for guys latching on from one email, I can certainly understand that. I return emails promptly and try to stay in an active conversation, but it does require two-way communication and effort. If I email a few questions, and get a response that's only answers and not asking anything back or providing limited information, it sort of stunts the conversation or at least makes it a lot more difficult to sustain.

I think the issue might be lack of journal use, as people who've got a few good connections aren't willing to say they're too busy to respond. But it's fairly impossible to tell, only that emails get opened and not replied to. As someone who likes to understand everything, I'm just trying to understand why.

(in reply to charlotte12)

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Post #: 43

RE: Am I wasting my time with CM? - 2/15/2008 1:01:09 AM

Spankuvrymuch

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/18/2007
Status: offline

Hello all. Thanks for the advice. 99% of you were very friendly. I reworked the profile. And I think I got the photos up. I did get the notice from CM that it was approved so we will see.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

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Post #: 44