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RE: What would you ask? - 2/20/2008 11:53:52 PM

Tapestry

Posts: 226
Joined: 10/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: chatondamore

I've been talking to a couple of Dominant males, trying to find someone i'm compatible with, but the whole situation just feels awkward. Almost like I'm interviewing people for a position. So I'm turning to you guys for ideas.

What sort of questions would you ask a potentional dominant to get to know them?
How would you show your sense of humor (if it borders on the... sarcastic side) without seeming disrespectful?
What is your favorite joke?

Time
You can ask and share anything you want, but it takes time.
You can talk and spend time together for days, weeks, months, and even years, but it takes time.
Yes, you can decide fairly early if this is someone you want to get to know better and pursue a relationship with.
Only time will tell if there is the deep compatibility of 2 people living a life, enjoying the fullness this world offers.
There is more to our lives than M/x, BDSM, and kink. We live in a vanilla world, so, time will tell if you enjoy seeing the same types of movies, do you like listening to the same kinds of music? How about cultural things? Do you enjoy opera or Nascar (or both?)
Will you spend evenings watching TV, working jigsaw puzzles, reading a good book, or some other activity?
Do your energy levels match one another?
I swear, I could go on. This is the stuff that it just takes time to discover.
In the beginning, work on the getting to know you stuff, decide if you want to pursue learning more about one another, and then move forward or move on.
The rest will come in time, or not.
Blessings and Peace

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"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."

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RE: What would you ask? - 2/21/2008 12:16:40 AM

HerLord

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Joined: 2/14/2008
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My only real advice is here on these pages before my post... LISTEN. Listen not to the words but what is said. Listen to the feelings behind the words. Listen for passion and what it directed to. Listen for similarities. But most important, listen for lies. If you hear one, block, ignore, delete, RUN!
You will hear them as inconsistancies of truth, contradiction of self, and or Bold faced "I am the president of these United States" bullshit!

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RE: What would you ask? - 2/21/2008 5:56:25 AM

Dnomyar

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I have a peanut butter question. I like both smooth and super crunchy. What does that mean???

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RE: What would you ask? - 2/21/2008 11:15:46 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
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I don't ask specific questions i just talked to Master for 16 hours over 3 days before we played (after talking to him for 2 months over the net and phone).

As for my joke What do toy trains and a womans breasts have in common? They are both for kids but men like to play with them!!! LMAO

Matt's littleone

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RE: What would you ask? - 2/21/2008 11:48:37 AM

LadyLolly

Posts: 140
Joined: 5/21/2005
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A little on the flip side as a dominant female but might be of help.

In some ways at least a part of the process is an interview.
I take the position of asking a submissive to tell me thier thoughts and views to get a reading of where they are comming from, what they themselves want or don't want, what they offer, what they need. I start that way because I want real answers - not to be fed what they think I want to hear. I'll come back with my own views thoughts, feelings. General questions asked and some views offered - but careful not to "taint" responses. I'll ask open question worded to get thier views on things such as: Do you have career goals or are you seeking a stay at home position? Are you poly or are you mono? etc.

Some might consider this apporach passive (talk to me, tell me). Many dominants will just come out and say I want thus and such leaving you to determine if you think you can/will/want to. I feel this way I am in possesion of the information to choose what is best for them and myself, if it's a fit or not.

Since males, D or s tend to court, perhaps you can take this approach flipped to delve at least basic compatability and philosophy.

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RE: What would you ask? - 2/21/2008 2:30:16 PM

chatondamore

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Thanks to everyone for your suggestions. I really appreciate them! It's hard coming at this from an angle where i don't want to be a live-in, and i'm not looking for a "love match". It seems like the question set is totally different.

On a side note i am meeting one of them tonight at a local munch. Wish me luck!

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RE: What would you ask? - 2/21/2008 2:39:50 PM

tigerseye

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for me i definatly have to get to know them very well before agreeing to be in a lifestyle relationship. my suggestion is go on a couple dates with them and really get to know them. i know in my personal experience it's much more fullfilling and the connection isn't just relying on the lifestyle but on a deeper level too.

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Post #: 27