quote:

ORIGINAL: Bound2One

quote:

So I understand the need to conformity, I also am feeling like I'm being teleported to an alien world when talking to him about his concerns regarding perceptions. I'm not getting a good feeling for the town when we go shopping or anything, it seems, well, normal as I know it. But he's lived there all his life and he says it's a different world from the city I live in.

Quite honestly, I think you're overthinking it.  Your BIL sounds like he's looking for a reaction even when there isn't one because he's more into the reaction from what he wears than just wearing it naturally, yk?  There is such a thing as being appropriate when dealing with children, and what he wore wasn't appropriate.  Self-expression is all well and good when it only affects the self ... in trying to make people uncomfortable with his naked ladies t-shirt at school, he just looks like an ass. 

Soo.... I'm not sure I'd take his opinion too seriously.  lol  I'm a suburban mom (gasp! lol)  You honestly sound me - I layer everything over camis and wear jeans, trousers, skirts, whatever, underneath.  Lots of black b/c it's slimming, don't ya know.  I do not wear my collar in public.  That's just a personal decision, but Tiffany is more than acceptable in this burb.  lol  But I do wear a necklace Master gave me which symbolizes our relationship - it's just that noone needs to know about it.  There are lots of options in jewelry - I wouldn't go for the obvious, if you question it one bit.  And as you said, perhaps in time you'd feel free breaking out the big guns, once you're more comfortable with the lay of the land. 

One question, and perhaps I'm just a little clueless on this one - what identifies you as 'goth' to the community?  I ask because the way you describe yourself sounds a lot like me, and I'm curious.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hissltora

i can appreciate your concern very well, from my current location in a town of 50 people in a tight knit, rural area of the frozen Northern plains. From what i can gather, your Master is quite like my Owner, concerned with public appearance. Sir is not 'hiding' wiitwd...just has no interest in sharing it with others. It's His dynamic, His life...not theirs.

So, moving out here was intimidating, but the way i currently dress is not real hard...i wear jean skirts or jeans, polo shirts or nice girlie-tshirts. And my collar is reserved for the bedroom (with ums running around) but i do wear a stainless steel anchor link bracelet that NEVER comes off, and a textured-chain necklace with a heart pendant. It sits close to my neck, has a heft to it, and no one thinks twice about it being anything other than a pretty piece of jewelry. It isn't necessarily a lock or anything that makes it a collar, in this house...it's the intent.
 
The same goes for my religion...as an earth witch, I don't want the neighbors to try and convert me, but i don't really want to rub their noses in my life either. You do your thing, and i'll do mine, is the mantra around the rural plains. As long as i don't 'flaunt' my differences and instead focus on how we are all the same, i blend in really well. 
 
Looking back at this, i'm not sure i made any sense, but it's damn cold here and almost to gloomy to think straight.
 
Wish you well and walk tall,
 
slave tora, devoted to Sir N

quote:


Today I have tall lace up black boots on, with a long flared skirt (that reminds m'Lord of a hobble skirt) a red cami and a sweater that is reminicint of Victorian style with ruffles on the sleeves and below the waiste (the skirt and sweater are black too). For example.

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG

this has been rattling around in my mind for a while.

I grew up in a small town, but when I was there I didn't care if I "fit in" or not, then I moved to a liberal college town where fashion is a statement not a trend (meaning there is alot of self expression here and I'm fairly moderate in comparison).  The move I am planning on making in a few months is to a conservative smaller town with a strong religious base.  m'Lord wants a collar, he wants it to be a real collar with a lock, not just symbolic but he is concerned about how it and I would be percieved in the community.

It makes me wonder about my appearence as well.  Like I said, here I am moderate, but in the town I grew up in I was and would be now considered edgier, and if I was moving back there I wouldn't care as most who live there already know me and wouldn't be making an initial judgement based on appearance.  But in the new town I would have to meet new people, the nieghbors and such and I would be looking for a job, interacting with the school system.

I've seriously never thought about clothing nearly as much as I am now...

My "style" is basic, I favor black clothes but not exclusively, anyone who's commented on it says that I am normal with a "goth" edge.  I favor layers, camisoles with a jacket or cardigan over it usually.  Jeans, skirts, or dress pants, this fits with the casual business code for working at the University.

I guess I'm wondering if he (and I, now) are making much ado about nothing.  Would people not in the know be taken aback if I had a metal choker looking peice of jewelry on my neck with a lock?  Is it possible that they wouold be uptight about people who don't conform to the social uniform of the local society?

Do I think too much?

quote:

 to run the perfect, happy,  2.4 children, one cat one dog and 3 hamsters and a goldfish type home, bake my own cakes and make my own curtains, and upset the other mums because my children's PE kit is so much *whiter* than theirs ....

there is definate appeal in appearing to the world as one lifted directly out of the 1950s ... and being the worst kind of depraved temptress once the washing up has been finished

*skips off whitsling to check on her banana bread*