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Training a new slave - 2/14/2008 8:04:29 AM   
Saltwatergirl


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline 		Woo hoo! I am finally training my first slave. Any tips/pointers that anyone might have would be very much appreciated!

Thanks!
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Training a new slave - 2/14/2008 8:09:13 AM   
lilabbotsfordgrl


Posts: 140
Joined: 1/4/2008
Status: offline 		Well, from your profile, it seems you have most of the bases already covered!  :)

"I am VERY attractive and outgoing domme femme... Your lifetime goal is to have found me and to do everything within your power to please me and make me happy. My expectations are high and must be consistantly met otherwise punishment is the only option. The only thing you have to offer is to make everything better and easier for me."

Enjoy!

(in reply to Saltwatergirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Training a new slave - 2/14/2008 10:06:34 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Saltwatergirl

Woo hoo! I am finally training my first slave. Any tips/pointers that anyone might have would be very much appreciated!

Thanks!



Slow and steady. Build up bit by bit.

Constant feedback -- consider that praise may work wonders where punishment only re-enforces failure and negative thoughts. Make these two forms of feedback clearly different from each other.

Work backwards -- have your end goal in mind and figure out how to get there bit by bit.

Never have more rules and rituals than you can easily list off and enforce without them interfering in the necessary matters of life.

Take responsibility -- explain and demonstrate what you want, repeat, practice, praise.

Build in a routine to re-evaluate the slave, yourself and each other regularly especially in the first year. Do this outside of a DS dynamic and be as objective and honest as you can.

Remember nothing is forever. Better to find a good positive match than simply a match. Don't be afraid or ashamed of saying "This isn't working" if it isn't for one or both of you.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Saltwatergirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Training a new slave - 2/14/2008 10:26:38 AM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
When he does something that turns you on, tell him.  Graphically.  Or show him.  Submissives are motivated by the rewards of pleasing you.  Make it crystal clear for him.

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to Saltwatergirl)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Training a new slave - 2/14/2008 6:11:40 PM   
MistressFaye1


Posts: 276
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Congrats!  Get to know his mindset, how he thinks, what his values are in both worlds.  Some may say it shouldn't matter but knowing this will aid you in choosing behavior modification techniques.  What may work for one, may not work for another.  Always remember to communicate...communicate...communicate.

Be patient with yourself and him.

Have fun exploring and discovering more about yourself and him.  Stay in touch with the wonderul ladies on the site or another Domme as a mentor. 

Faye

_____________________________

You can put away your masquerade
You won't ever have to be afraid of Me
Open up your eyes and see what is in store
I must the One that you are searching for.

(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Training a new slave - 2/14/2008 6:24:29 PM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo


quote:

ORIGINAL: Saltwatergirl

Woo hoo! I am finally training my first slave. Any tips/pointers that anyone might have would be very much appreciated!

Thanks!



Slow and steady. Build up bit by bit.

Constant feedback -- consider that praise may work wonders where punishment only re-enforces failure and negative thoughts. Make these two forms of feedback clearly different from each other.

Work backwards -- have your end goal in mind and figure out how to get there bit by bit.

Never have more rules and rituals than you can easily list off and enforce without them interfering in the necessary matters of life.

Take responsibility -- explain and demonstrate what you want, repeat, practice, praise.

Build in a routine to re-evaluate the slave, yourself and each other regularly especially in the first year. Do this outside of a DS dynamic and be as objective and honest as you can.

Remember nothing is forever. Better to find a good positive match than simply a match. Don't be afraid or ashamed of saying "This isn't working" if it isn't for one or both of you.


What she said

Seriously?  Don't forget the details.  If you are talking service related, don't only tell the slave "to" do it, tell the slave "how" to do it.  Where are the tools located needed to do the task, do you have a particular style in mind?  How clean is clean?  Don't set anyone up for failure, as was mentioned, positive reinforcement works much better than negative.
Do you want the slave to please you because you are worth it or because he is afraid of you?

Lady Jag

_____________________________

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. .
Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Training a new slave - 2/14/2008 6:49:58 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		Commitment, structure, routine, patience and accurate direction and reinforcement.
 
Praise, communication, honesty.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Saltwatergirl)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Training a new slave - 2/15/2008 1:56:25 AM   
chezzy52


Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline 		Respect and treat him like he would most certainly respect and treat you.Avery wise Lady here once told me you get out of it only what you put into it.If you stribe and work hard for him he will return it tenfold if he is of the right mindset.Apparently,he is.Best of Luck.

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Training a new slave - 2/15/2008 10:00:47 AM   
Shawn1066


Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline 		Don't scare him off.  Take things one step at a time.

DV's Fox

(in reply to chezzy52)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Training a new slave - 2/15/2008 10:22:10 AM   
lateralist1


Posts: 886
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Depends how a slave is motivated.
Lots of  slaves seem to be motivated by physical discipline.
That makes them not right for me.
However to take him on you must have decided he could be right for you.
All I would say is good luck and if it doesn't work out don't get too despondent.

(in reply to Shawn1066)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Training a new slave - 2/15/2008 1:05:17 PM   
MmeGigs


Posts: 706
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline 		In addition to the good advice that has already been offered, I would suggest that you think carefully about what you want from him and don't make rules or assign tasks that you don't care about.  Consistency and follow-up are important in training.  If I insist that he, say, gets on his knees and asks permission every time he wants to enter the house, but don't really care whether he does it or not and don't get after him when he doesn't, I'm undermining my efforts on things that are important to me.

(in reply to lateralist1)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Training a new slave - 3/2/2011 4:55:26 PM   
DevilishEnvy


Posts: 48
Joined: 2/16/2011
Status: offline 		It is always a good idea to sit down and discuss and make lists of limits and the slave's commitment to you and yours to him. It makes it easier to learn how to be the Mistress/Master that he needs and desires. Don't be afraid to laugh and have fun, too. Trust comes easier with all aspects and trust is essential in this type of relationship. Have fun!

(in reply to MmeGigs)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Training a new slave - 3/2/2011 4:59:31 PM   
FukinTroll


Posts: 6277
Joined: 2/6/2007
From: Under a bridge
Status: offline 		WTF?

21! Where in tha hell are you?


_____________________________

I'm the guy your girl is thinking about when she is fucking you!

TrollTopia
Greedy Groupie!

The Mods have me on speed Spank!! Gotta luv'em.

(in reply to DevilishEnvy)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Training a new slave - 3/2/2011 5:20:12 PM   
VideoAdminRho


Posts: 2055
Joined: 3/24/2010
Status: offline 		Will I do, FT?

~FR~
Please do not 'necro' threads that are years old. If a thread hasn't been replied to in 3 months or more, and you wish to discuss the same subject, please start a new thread and link to the old one.
Thank you.
*Click*

< Message edited by VideoAdminRho -- 3/2/2011 5:21:29 PM >

(in reply to FukinTroll)
Profile   Post #: 14
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