RE: Your Status (Full Version)

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RedMagic1 -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 8:51:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andrewmac
people resent it when you point out that they may have been careless and inconsiderate.

True that.



hejira92 -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 9:01:27 AM)

And here I was just innocently taking a break from doing my taxes....... and I find all this.
 
Thank you everyone for a great morning's entertainment.
 
Andrew,
What I find annoying is that it does not matter how precisely Master and I set my profile, there will be ones who ignore it. My choice is to let it get to me or not. As I tell my ums - we do not often get to choose what happens to us in this life; all we choose is how we react to it and our attitude towards it. Choose to be negative or positive. Choose to let little annoyances ruin your day, or go on your way. Choose to be nitpicky or look at the big picture. Choose to be the bigger person with a sense of humor or a pretentious prig.
 
My (admittedly unsolicited) advice: Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People.  It's a classic, really.



TreasureKY -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 9:13:39 AM)

What I truly find a waste of time isn't people who've failed to accurately categorize their profile, but rather dominants who post petulant rants and lectures, thinly veiled as questions. 

If I've allowed my time to be wasted, who should I really be annoyed with? 

One of the foremost lessons to be learned on the path to adulthood is that you cannot directly control how other people think, feel and behave... only how you act and react.  Once you've achieved peace with your own self-control, you'll find other's behavior has limited impact on your own well-being.



christine1 -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 9:14:02 AM)

i've had plenty of people criticize me for what is or isn't in my profile...to the point they want to argue with me about it.  i don't give a tinkers toot what people think of it, what i want in my profile is there...after all, it is MY profile right?



breatheasone -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 9:15:08 AM)

quote:

One of the foremost lessons to be learned on the path to adulthood is that you cannot directly control how other people think, feel and behave... only how you act and react. Once you've achieved peace with your own self-control, you'll find other's behavior has limited impact on your own well-being.

[sm=applause.gif]



ModeratorEleven -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 2:45:18 PM)

Ok, now that the sewer that this thread became has been cleaned up, it's open again.  Folks who can't contain their enthusiasm for violating our rules will want to steer clear or adjust their behavior accordingly because we're well past the time for issuing warnings.

Thank you.

XI



AquaticSub -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:03:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andrewmac

This is addressed to female submissives:

1. If you were conducting a search on this site for a single dom who is interested in finding a sub, would it annoy or offend you to see a great many ads start off by saying that the person is married or otherwise not available?  Remember, they have deliberately adjusted their profile checklist so that they will show up whenever someone searches for a "Dom seeing a sub"? 

Would that offend you and make you resent this person for wasting your time?

No. Why on earth would it? I'd just hide the profile.
quote:


2. If you are just here to make friends and use the forum, not to find a partner, do your profile settings reflect this?

Remember? There is a query drop-down checklist that asks what you are looking for.  One of the choices is "Friends Only".....after creating your profile, this option is accessible via "Edit Profile" on the Home page.

Yes. It also reflects that we are looking for submissive females.
quote:


3.  Have you inserted something into your profile like "I am taken", "I am not looking" or "I am under consideration"? If yes, have you ALSO gone back into the profile settings to change your status?

If not, why not?  Are you aware that your profile is needlessly showing up when a dom searches for available subs, and that you could easily change this?

Sounds like you just wanted to remind people to change their profiles so you won't be bothered with them.



AquaticSub -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:05:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Dude, do you have any idea how many female subs read these message boards?  And female Dommes (not that you'd evvvvvver be interested in them I'm sure)?  You haven't just shot yourself in the foot here -- you've blown one of your nuts clean off.  It's time to beat a retreat.  Do not fear -- I will do the dirty job of cyberpunishing all the rude unsubs who took time out of their Saturday morning to actually talk with you.


Really? What do you have in mind? [:D]



DesFIP -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:10:55 PM)

I've been here a year or so and never noticed the drop down box. But it wouldn't annoy me if a person didn't fill out all those boxes. I'm a big girl, I can read profiles and decide on my own if there seems to be sufficient compatibility to contact someone. If I didn't get a response, then obviously he didn't feel the same. If I got a message saying he was taken, I wouldn't get upset. It takes two minutes to fire off an email and a lot less to read and delete. Why bother having a tantrum?

Nobody else is required to write their profile to my tastes.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:17:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Dude, do you have any idea how many female subs read these message boards?  And female Dommes (not that you'd evvvvvver be interested in them I'm sure)?  You haven't just shot yourself in the foot here -- you've blown one of your nuts clean off.  It's time to beat a retreat.  Do not fear -- I will do the dirty job of cyberpunishing all the rude unsubs who took time out of their Saturday morning to actually talk with you.


Really? What do you have in mind? [:D]

We're not going there on this particular thread.  Trust me, and walk away with both hands in plain sight.



sweetwenchie -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:21:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andrewmac

This is addressed to female submissives:

1. If you were conducting a search on this site for a single dom who is interested in finding a sub, would it annoy or offend you to see a great many ads start off by saying that the person is married or otherwise not available?  Remember, they have deliberately adjusted their profile checklist so that they will show up whenever someone searches for a "Dom seeing a sub"? 

Would that offend you and make you resent this person for wasting your time?

2. If you are just here to make friends and use the forum, not to find a partner, do your profile settings reflect this?

Remember? There is a query drop-down checklist that asks what you are looking for.  One of the choices is "Friends Only".....after creating your profile, this option is accessible via "Edit Profile" on the Home page.

3.  Have you inserted something into your profile like "I am taken", "I am not looking" or "I am under consideration"? If yes, have you ALSO gone back into the profile settings to change your status?

If not, why not?  Are you aware that your profile is needlessly showing up when a dom searches for available subs, and that you could easily change this?


Dude, if you get so worked up over this type of issue, might i suggest a glass of wine, a big fat blunt, a 'lude... whatever works to chill your ass out?

This is a free site, i find it laughable to think i would be offended over someone elses profile. 

If your time is too precious to be wasted on profiles, perhaps spending less time on the forums and more time in your local scene?  Just a thought...



awakenednj -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:24:21 PM)

Being brand spanking new to this site- I didn't notice the friends only option... I just adjusted my profile. Thanks for pointing it out... one day I will learn to read properly :)



laurell3 -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:27:15 PM)

OP: As has been pointed out, this is the internet.  Taking things personally that happen in cyberspace is a waste of your emotion, time and energy.  You're not going to find some refined method of digging through the many profiles, it's frustrating at times, but you won't change the nature of internet dating.  You may find some very worthwhile, intelligent, well-rounded prospective partners if you stop going out of your way to alienate everyone and recognize that your role means nothing about whom you are as a human being.  Drop the bad boy act and talk to people like people and be patient and you will find the results you are seeking.



StormsSlave -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:29:51 PM)

Are you aware this is really a tech support issue??  The options aren't fitting my situation, so I chose nothing.  I do say that I am taken in my profile.  I don't necessarily wish to pop up as available every time someone searches.

As for the seeking, I clicked none of them.  We want to make friends, learn a lot, and maybe meet up with some folks for fun.  Not actively seeking anything.  An "other" option, or possibly "networking" would be perfect.

It asks if this is a couple profile or not.  Neither...this is my profile, he has his own.  That doesn't make me available, exactly. 

A simple available/not available option would fix this.



girlygurl -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:32:57 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TreasureKY
One of the foremost lessons to be learned on the path to adulthood is that you cannot directly control how other people think, feel and behave... only how you act and react.  Once you've achieved peace with your own self-control, you'll find other's behavior has limited impact on your own well-being.


[sm=applause.gif][sm=applause.gif]
Such a wise statement!

girly



BitaTruble -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:34:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: andrewmac

This is addressed to female submissives:

1. If you were conducting a search on this site for a single dom who is interested in finding a sub, would it annoy or offend you to see a great many ads start off by saying that the person is married or otherwise not available?  Remember, they have deliberately adjusted their profile checklist so that they will show up whenever someone searches for a "Dom seeing a sub"? 

Would that offend you and make you resent this person for wasting your time?


I would not be offended nor resentful. In fact, I'd probably be a bit grateful that it took only a few seconds to weed them out of my search process rather than spend any significant amount of time writing a personal email.

quote:

2. If you are just here to make friends and use the forum, not to find a partner, do your profile settings reflect this?


They do.



quote:

3.  Have you inserted something into your profile like "I am taken", "I am not looking" or "I am under consideration"? If yes, have you ALSO gone back into the profile settings to change your status?


My profile clearly reflects my status. I was owned when I joined CM, so the profile settings haven't changed since I've been here.

quote:

If not, why not?  Are you aware that your profile is needlessly showing up when a dom searches for available subs, and that you could easily change this?


There could be any number of reasons that someone would not change their settings.

They don't want to do so.
They don't know how.
They have been ordered not to do so.
They forgot.
They haven't logged in for a long time.
They want to keep their options open.
They want to cheat on their partner.
They want to be contacted for other reasons (events, munches, play parties etc.)
They wanna fuck with people to see if they can get them to lose their cool.
They want to waste other people's time.
They do it for laughs.
They're men pretending to be women.

That's probably enough for right now. Bottom line, if you change your own perception and look at it as a weeding tool instead of a way to just piss you, personally, off, maybe you can avoid taking blood pressure medication as you age.

Celeste




GreedyTop -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:34:20 PM)

I have no idea what my drop down says anymore. to me, what I've written is more important than the tick boxes... not that it stops the "I'm the dom/slave of your dreams" emails.

As others have said, who has time to get offended? Well, it seems YOU do, op..which is a shame.  But hey.. if it's how you are, it's how you are, and it's no skin off my nose if someone else is offended because my profile doesn't meet their criteria for how a profile should be filled out.



Sundowner -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:40:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

...

I will do the dirty job of cyberpunishing all the rude unsubs who took time out of their Saturday morning to actually talk with you.



Really? What do you have in mind? [:D]

We're not going there on this particular thread.  Trust me, and walk away with both hands in plain sight.



Aaaawwww Red! I think Aquatic would have liked you to tell, and the Mod probably wouldn't mind you going just slightly off-topic.

Mind you I too wouldn't want to test that.



RedMagic1 -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:44:39 PM)

When a woman holds up a stop sign, I obey it.



GreedyTop -> RE: Your Status (2/16/2008 3:48:44 PM)

um, Red? does this mean our date is off?



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