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Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 1:57:26 PM

Openpatient1

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline

I am aware of the intrinsic sensitivity of Master/Slave relationships. The question develops when one wonders, why would a slave want to communicate with others dependent upon the screeners approval or not.

I am perplexed by this. It appears or rather seems the slave is merely trying to entice others to play her submission game, by the Master's screening of a message. What good would the Master;s judgement be? He or She doesnt know the person sending the message, and whats more, anyone who would write under such circumstances, is simply trying to play games.

SLR or not? IF s slave is worth her weight in gold, she must be able to have intelligent sorting of messages to her liking or not. After all last time I checked, a slave doesnt lose the ability to make judgments cause they have a Master. In truth, fools gold can glitter screener or not>

Master Carl

Post #: 1

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 2:06:35 PM

sarzyness

Posts: 23
Joined: 3/2/2007
Status: offline

urm....... i think i understand what your trying to say

i kinda agree, because even if its someone you think you know really well, well, you never really know them... really well.

but, i am a really really bad judge of character, and id prefure someone i trust to tell me who i can/cant talk to.

but then... if i trust that person, that means that i think i know them really well... which would mean ive contradicted myself, because you can never really really know someone.....

damnit, im confused, ive just come home from doing a 10hr shift at work, so dont judge me too meanly please... i need sleep!

(in reply to Openpatient1)

Post #: 2

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 2:07:33 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Time is one of the most valuable commodities extant. Non-renewable and finite, how a slaves time is used is the preogative of the owner. If the owner has some sort of decree that the slaves time not be wasted with superficial chit chat, then it behooves the owner to either set boundaries on how that time is used or make the choice to micromanage how that time is used by personally overseeing it's usage.

What you own, you have to choice to control in your own manner. What you do not own, you have no say over.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Openpatient1)

Post #: 3

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 2:14:41 PM

Openpatient1

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/26/2008
Status: offline

Well said BitAtruble....but!!!!!

Lets take the situation from a slightly different vantage point. We know the Master/Slave matrix is important and perhaps a distinct unit. But, lets take a look at the environment. The Slave has an open profile instead of a hidden one.

The third party messenging is submitting to the indignation of another screening. Why should they go through the humiliation? They are not part of the dynamic of either, in my opinion.

I have got to assume the whole idea is not only to create boundaries for the slave, but also to play the usual psychological fixation; that is so common in the first place with others who pointless message the slave in hopes of whatever blue sky they imagine.

Final analysis, why not just go hidden?

Carl

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 4

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 2:14:42 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Whatever works for you. We can read eachothers anything just because it's most practical for us- nothing more and nothing less.

Sure some people use it as a game to feel cool, and some use it as a mask of insecurities. But there are plenty of other non problem reasons as well.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 5

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 2:38:08 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Openpatient1

Well said BitAtruble....but!!!!!

Lets take the situation from a slightly different vantage point. We know the Master/Slave matrix is important and perhaps a distinct unit. But, lets take a look at the environment. The Slave has an open profile instead of a hidden one.

If your profile is hidden, you can't receive email from your friends. Many on here know one another real time, host munches, use the c-mail to keep connected to those who live in other states, use c-mail to comment privately on forum postings and a variety of other reasons.

quote:

The third party messenging is submitting to the indignation of another screening. Why should they go through the humiliation? They are not part of the dynamic of either, in my opinion.

Unless someone is holding a gun to the head, there is no force here. Simply pass by those profiles in which it is required and concentrate on those who keep an open invitation to correspond. You are still wanting people do to things 'your' way and it's just not going to happen. You only have control over you and yours.

quote:

I have got to assume the whole idea is not only to create boundaries for the slave, but also to play the usual psychological fixation; that is so common in the first place with others who pointless message the slave in hopes of whatever blue sky they imagine.

I wouldn't make that assumption. It will be true in some cases, but is probably not true in most cases.

quote:

Final analysis, why not just go hidden?

Carl

Answered above.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to Openpatient1)

Post #: 6

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 2:39:28 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

Valyraen does not screen my messages. But that doesn't mean I think others shouldn't, or that they are playing some game. Some do not want their sub/slave talking to other dominants without express permission. We don't work that way, but oh well. Doesn't make them wrong. And yes, a sub/slave hopefully will be able to tell the time-wasters from the sincere messages, but can't the owner as well? And if the owner would rather have their property baking, doing chores or giving them a shoulder rub while they handle that chore, so what?

I really don't see how this has anything to do with playing games.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 7

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 2:46:26 PM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

HoneyMaster and I have access to each other's email. He doesn't screen mine. He is welcome to read it and comment on it, as I can His.
It's just not a necessary dynamic with us.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 8

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 2:47:43 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sarzyness
i am a really really bad judge of character

It takes practice. The only way you will improve is by dealing with lots and lots of people. Yes, do get feedback from friends you trust -- especially if you are weirded out by something. But it's like playing the piano, or walking. Unless you do it yourself, you will never build the ability.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to sarzyness)

Post #: 9

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 3:01:49 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Openpatient1
The third party messenging is submitting to the indignation of another screening. Why should they go through the humiliation? They are not part of the dynamic of either, in my opinion.

How is that humiliating? Furthermore, if they want to contact the slave, knowing that they are a master/slave couple, then they should damn well be respectful of that and how they like to work things. They may not be part of the dynamic, but they are choosing to contact them not the other way around.

quote:

Final analysis, why not just go hidden?

Because maybe the slave does want to make friends and the master does want her to make friends. Maybe only the first messages are read first. Maybe only messages from other dominants are read. I think you are reading into this way too much.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 2/16/2008 3:42:06 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Openpatient1)

Post #: 10

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 3:14:31 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Why bother to go hidden? Then I couldn't pm people on topics other than come-ons. Besides, saying he will screen it doesn't actually mean he does. Usually he doesn't. But I hold out hope that those who read that and were planning to send me stupid come-ons will bother someone else instead. And if they don't get the message when I delete and don't respond, should he notice the mail or I mention it to him, then he will send them a pithy go away note that has more effect.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 11

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 3:20:47 PM

MinaM

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

I'm wondering why being polite is being compared to 'entering into a humilation.'

If I say I'd rather email me than call and you call, that's rude. If I say that I'd rather you ask my Daddy if I'm allowed to talk to you first and you don't, that's rude. How bloody hard is it to send an email that says "Hello, your girl said something interesting and I'd like to discuss it with her if you don't mind." Really, I mean come on.

Oh, wait, right, manners. My bad.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 12

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 3:41:22 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Often, it's not about the slave not having the ability, it's about the Master having the control.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Openpatient1)

Post #: 13

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 3:55:54 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

I know an M/s couple in which all correspondence to them goes thru her, the slave. I know others of the opposite. I'm not understanding why that would get anyone's nose out of joint.

In my case, anyone is free to contact me. If I receive something that bothers me, then I forward it to Him. If I have an interaction with someone in which I feel they have crossed a boundary, then I let Him know about it and how I handled it. It works for us.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 14

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/16/2008 9:18:42 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I am not a slave, but I do ask those reading my profile and wish to contact me to contact my Daddy instead. He does this as a nice thing for me. i do not want to be bothered and I do not want to be rude by not responding to emails.

Here is the thing, no matter what we do or how we handle our correspondence someone has a problem with it. If we have our doms take care of that for us so that we do not have to concern ourselves then our dom is perceived as insecure. If we ignore unwanted emails we are labeled :"Rude", even though we state we are taken. So the only acceptable thing for some people is for subs like me to spend hours of our time turning down people that never read our profiles in the first place. Why should strangers demand my time? Since I am suppose to reply to all correspondence, having him run interference cuts down on it. Just me, etc

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Openpatient1)

Post #: 15

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/17/2008 6:17:46 AM

Akinta

Posts: 31
Joined: 8/16/2004
Status: offline

I think Openpatient1 is taking this from a different angle. from his viewpoint, the act of going through the screening of messages is forcing those outside the relationship to submit to that relationship's dynamic. Which is true.

However, if you're choosing to write someone who's in that dynamic, then you have made the choice to follow those rules, or to break them and see what comes of it. I believe it's pretty obvious that people have different ways of doing things, most work for them, but some times it is insecurity or unhealthy the way it's handled, but I wouldn't label it in black and white terms here.

i don't personally email others' subs/slaves because that's not what we want. If we get into a discussion here on the forum, so be it. But if I see something on someone's profile that warrents a comment, I'll just consider how many thousands of people have already felt the need to comment on that, and leave it as a done deal and move on.. but that's just me =D

(in reply to Openpatient1)

Post #: 16

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/17/2008 7:04:28 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

my Master has my password and can do whatever He chooses. But why would i need to hide my profile? When posting on these boards, every time someone has a "Profile Not Available" a lot of folks on the message boards think the person posting is a fake, a flake, or is playing some sort of game. i keep my profile available. i just updated it to check nothing at all for "actively seeking" so i don't show up on people's search lists but i see no reason whatsoever for a hidden profile.

Some Masters want to read their slave's emails, some don't.

It appears or rather seems the slave is merely trying to entice others to play her submission game, by the Master's screening of a message. What good would the Master;s judgement be? He or She doesnt know the person sending the message, and whats more, anyone who would write under such circumstances, is simply trying to play games.

I don't see how it can be construed as enticing or game-playing if a submissive states in her profile that all messages have to go through her Dominant. If the submissive doesn't trust her Master's judgement why would she submit to this restriction in the first place?

i've very confused as to what your issue is or why you think message screening is pointless. What i see as pointless is to send a 'private' email to someone whose messages are going to be screened.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Openpatient1)

Post #: 17

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/17/2008 7:08:50 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

My girl is on here mainly to keep in touch with scene friends that she has had for quite some time, also I don't preclude the possibility of her making new friends from time to time though those are mainly from people We meet off-line at munches, clubs and events.

I have full access to her account and run a watchfull eye over it regularly. If any trolls pop up she lets Me know if she happens to be the first to log in after their arrival. Sometimes she is told to simply block, delete and ignore, other times I deal with them personaly.

Does she NEED Me to do this? No, she is a bright girl and more than capable of sending such pond-scum running with their tails between their legs, however the fact that I care enough to involve Myself and stay in that 'protective and reasuring' position even here is appreciated by her. Even when she is dealing with one herself, she knows I am right there, in control and caring (Also it means she isn't usualy acting in a way I wouldn't approve of!)

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Akinta)

Post #: 18

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/17/2008 7:14:08 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

The question develops when one wonders, why would a slave want to communicate with others dependent upon the screeners approval or not.

Simply because their owner has told them this is how it will be done.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Openpatient1)

Post #: 19

RE: Pointless Message Screening - 2/17/2008 7:20:04 AM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline

I don't have time to read someone elses emails, I do however EXPECT that conversation is not in the vein of petitions or relationship chatting with other Dominas--or as one slave did with Me, posing as a Dom---the unspoken is I should be able to look at it anytime I choose and see what's appropriate---will I? That is for Me to know--I use the same rule with My UM, if you don't want to get caught in something, don't do it.

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

(in reply to Openpatient1)

Post #: 20

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