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Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 4:03:22 PM

StormsSlave

Posts: 629
Joined: 2/6/2008
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So, I looked around for this question, saw a lot of discussion on bruises, but I didn't see anyone address this one.

I like my bruises. My man likes to bite, and I like it when he does. We try to limit the biting to places not so much seen in public. (The only good thing about winter is the hidden skin.) However, occasionally in the heat of the moment, I end up with a few that can be seen.

It's fortunate for me in this that I'm clumsy and work a job with lots of hazards. I tend to bruise myself a lot at work, so my friends/family generally think that's what they are from. Some of them, on my neck, shoulders, i.e. are not so easily explainable. The ones on my neck usually look like hickeys, but sometimes they are obviously bruises.

When asked, what do you say? I'm not so much into lying, even in small things, so I don't like making stuff up, and I'm not good at it. However, I'm not really into making my private life not private.

What do you guys do? Is this unique to us, or have other people had this problem? I don't want my friends thinking I'm hiding abuse at home, but I also don't want to tell them, "Me and my man like kinky sex." Somehow, that's not something I can say to my boss, a poor kid who blushes everytime he talks to me.

Any help?

Post #: 1

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 4:09:02 PM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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Simply say that you caught the area or someone caught you there and it's left a mark. There is no need to go into specifics and you are telling the truth. If someone pesters you, either tell them to mind their own business or make light of it. The only other option is to not end up with marks where they will be visable and voila, no need to 'explain'.

Personally, if I get bruised these days, no one even bothers asking anymore. And if they did, they get a straight answer - if they get really embarressed, they won't ask again.

the.dark.

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Post #: 2

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 4:11:21 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
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From: Savannah, GA
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tell them that the sex got intense.. bet they don't ask ever again ;)

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Post #: 3

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 4:12:31 PM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
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You could shrug it off and say you don't remember how you got it. You could say it is personal and none of their business. If they persist, tell them the truth, perhaps their own embarrassment would shut them up about it.

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Post #: 4

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 4:14:46 PM

angelikaJ

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couldn't you just say that they are love-bites?

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Post #: 5

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 4:15:00 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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Just laugh, they will get it hopefully. Even vanilla sex can lead to bruising. The fact that you got bruised during sex doesn't imply bdsm unless you're walking around with a black eye in which case, it would be difficult to convince people you weren't an abuse victim and I would avoid any marks that are obviously apparent like that.

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Post #: 6

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 4:27:23 PM

fasn8nsub

Posts: 78
Joined: 9/6/2007
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Imho, if someone were to ask me what that mark on my neck is, that obviously did not get there because i ran into a door knob, i would think they were purposely trying to embarrass me or point out that my mark shows, they've seen it, and they know what i've been up to. (Ha! They only think they know!) When that happens, i blush, laugh, and walk away... and wear something with a higher collar the next time. They know what it is... an explanation isn't necessary. Bruises anywhere else? Hey, i'm clumsy, what can i say? If your partner uses one of those paddles that leaves marks like hearts or that say "slut" ... well, i'm afraid you're on your own to get out of an explanation for that! LOL

~slavebitch

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Post #: 7

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 4:28:59 PM

RedMagic1

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At a medical appointment: "They are consensual."

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Post #: 8

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 4:42:54 PM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

helpfully I play rugby at the weekends .. which means any bruises I get from play have to fight for space alongside those

if anyone asks I just say the scrum half tried to fight back as i dragged her into touch

once .. at the gym, someone noticed some cane marks and asked what they were .. i gave them the honest asnwer "My boyfriend beats me when I burn His dinner" ... she just sort of giggled and rolled her eyes "you're cray" she said

most people can only deal with what they know, most are not often as curious about things as we believe them to be.

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Post #: 9

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 4:49:27 PM

vampchick88

Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
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It happens, they're fun and painful, and well just awesome!!! I learned this trick from a friend who got frequent 'love bites' nearly all the time....toothpaste. Make sure your not going anywhere and apply a light coat of it over the bruise. The menthol in it pulls the blood so that it won't linger. The bad side to this is it will leave white marks on black clothes if your out for the day and you'll smell refreshingly minty.

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Post #: 10

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 8:10:29 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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Actually I think giving a sweet smile and saying "You really don't want to know" is the best answer.

But it is true that I am clumsy myself so most of my marks tend to come from self inflicted stupidity.

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Post #: 11

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 9:24:08 PM

kittykat86

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/2/2008
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Recently, I was asked about a bruise on my lower back. I was caught off guard as I wasn't prepared to answer a question like that, so I said I fell down the stairs drunk. It's pretty likely actually, but I'm also a really bad liar. My friend made a joke being a battered woman having even the common excuses like 'I fell down the stairs', which while funny was a 'you have no idea' kind of moment. I'm still not open about being submissive, but someday I hope to be. I hope to be surrounded by people that won't question my bruises because they'll know I'm happy. That's a really cool thing to look forward too.

Hickies are the lest of my worries. lol However, that's something you can definitely chalk up to 'things got out of hand, but in a good way' kind of thing.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 12

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 9:38:02 PM

MistressNoName

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittykat86

Recently, I was asked about a bruise on my lower back. I was caught off guard as I wasn't prepared to answer a question like that, so I said I fell down the stairs drunk. It's pretty likely actually, but I'm also a really bad liar. My friend made a joke being a battered woman having even the common excuses like 'I fell down the stairs', which while funny was a 'you have no idea' kind of moment. I'm still not open about being submissive, but someday I hope to be. I hope to be surrounded by people that won't question my bruises because they'll know I'm happy. That's a really cool thing to look forward too.

Hickies are the lest of my worries. lol However, that's something you can definitely chalk up to 'things got out of hand, but in a good way' kind of thing.

Actually, I'd be concerned about seeing a bruise on someone's lower back simply because that is an area most kinksters I know steer clear of in terms of hitting, swatting, whipping...your kidneys are located in the region and you just don't want to be taking the chance of damaging internal organs.

But to address the original question, a friend of mine, submissive female, recently went for a mammogram following a particularly hot single tail session. Her response to the tech, who eyed her back with concern, "we had a wonderful time." Emphasis on wonderful...this immediately let the tech know that she was not harmed and the experience was consensual. The tech responded with a smile and a knowing look and went on with the mammogram. Sometimes, just one pithy line is all you need.

MNN

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Post #: 13

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 11:00:20 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Easy. "Good sex leaves marks," then smile slyly. They'll laugh, you'll laugh and then you change the subject.

Master Fire

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Post #: 14

RE: Bruises?? - 2/16/2008 11:34:48 PM

breatheasone

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Joined: 7/14/2007
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I have said to someone...."Ok, I will answer you truthfully, just make sure you want to hear the answer."

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Post #: 15

RE: Bruises?? - 2/17/2008 12:24:08 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

And after all that... ask them if they know where you can get leeches so you don't have this problem again... just saying...

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Post #: 16

RE: Bruises?? - 2/17/2008 2:55:38 AM

rubberpet

Posts: 1743
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: The Land of Voodoo
Status: offline

I know I'm in for the bruising of my life in March when Mistress finally gets Her hands and teeth on me. I'm going to look like I've been in a street fight and I'll probably have some battle scars visible to the public eye. Hell, I'm going to be proud to display Her marks...besides, the more I have and the meaner they look, the better the job I did to deserve them. Not only are they love bites, they are "thank you for a job well done" bites!

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Collared and devoted property of Mistress Lorelei (vampchick88) as of 3/26/08.

Rubberpet - The Resident Anti-Subby and mysterious shadowy figure known as Voodoo, proud hitman and wiseguy for the Subby Mafia.

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Post #: 17

RE: Bruises?? - 2/17/2008 2:57:07 AM

StormsSlave

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Joined: 2/6/2008
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I think I'm going to go with the, "Do you really wanna know?" approach. If they persist, I'll tell them the truth. It's brilliant, no stories have to be made up, and they won't ask again.

Thanks for the great ideas. I show up at work with a lot of hickeys, anyway, they probably won't even think about it.

As for doctors, we know in advance when I will be going and try to...limit that kind of play...I also like the, "It was concensual." That was extremely helpful. Now I'll be prepared in advance should it come up.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 18

RE: Bruises?? - 2/17/2008 5:18:49 AM

vampchick88

Posts: 346
Joined: 4/10/2007
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eh doctors obviously don't know the fun of a good hickey once in a while, probably because most of their fun envlolves a nurse and not their wives. Anywho poor pet is probably going to recieve lots of after care with me taking a photo op and a game of how many hickies can I leave in one week

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Post #: 19

RE: Bruises?? - 2/17/2008 8:31:28 AM

BlackPhx

Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline

Just tell them with a silly grin.."It was a GREAT Night" and leave it at that.

Also check with your local cosmetics company, most have products that are designed to help cover up scars, blemishes and other skin problems and they don't transfer to clothing easily. They can take some of the more noticable down to nearly invisible. Two sites on the web that have products available are:
http://www.naturalconcealingmakeup.com/
http://store.skinelite.com/cove-003.html

poenkitten

(in reply to StormsSlave)

Post #: 20

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