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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 12:18:53 PM

NazjamRa

Posts: 37
Joined: 1/1/2004
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When is it ok to step up and tell someone that their reputation and name is being trashed by their Dominant, and how do you tell that person it's going on.

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 12:23:19 PM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
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quote:

When is it ok to step up and tell someone that their reputation and name is being trashed by their Dominant, and how do you tell that person it's going on.

Why would a Dominant want to trash his own submissive when they are a reflection of that Dominants training and skills?

If this is a "break-up" in progress, I would stay out of it unless someone is in imminent danger.

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(in reply to NazjamRa)

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 12:24:10 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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A break-up? It sounds like the op is after the sub.

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 12:26:08 PM

LadyHathor

Posts: 775
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How do you know that is really what is going on and not a"humiliation" play?

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 12:28:34 PM

lronitulstahp

Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
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here player.. it think this is what You're looking for http://www.collarchat.com/m_1631089/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#1631356 Wow, i feel like a low budget version of LA... 1 post and i'm exhausted...how DOES she do it????

< Message edited by lronitulstahp -- 2/17/2008 12:29:09 PM >

(in reply to KatyLied)

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 12:29:43 PM

IrishMist

Posts: 7480
Joined: 11/17/2005
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quote:

When is it ok to step up and tell someone that their reputation and name is being trashed by their Dominant

It's never ok.

quote:

and how do you tell that person it's going on.

You don't.

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 12:36:34 PM

Jeffff

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I agree......totaly

Jeff

(in reply to IrishMist)

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 1:05:56 PM

xolarkinxo

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I think you can tell someone that another is ruining her reputation if you are doing it in the best interests of the submissive (or whomever it may be) and if you can provide proof that this is in fact happening. Otherwise, it may become more confusing for the submissive trying to decifer a "he said, he said" situation.

Larkin

(in reply to Jeffff)

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 1:06:47 PM

CuriousLord

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I'm against secrets. I'd normally just tell the sub.

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 1:21:34 PM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

When is it ok to step up and tell someone that their reputation and name is being trashed by their Dominant, and how do you tell that person it's going on.

In which high school is this happening?

What reputation? What name? When a Dominant bad-mouths his own submissive he is trashing his own reputation and his own name and the situation will resolve itself because of that.

There was a guy i know who was a Drama King and found reason to speak badly of every submissive who entered into a relationship of any sort with him. Eventually he approached me and i was not interested because i'd heard the things he said about his ex's.... yuk!

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 2:46:10 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

When is it ok to step up and tell someone that their reputation and name is being trashed by their Dominant, and how do you tell that person it's going on.

Depends. That sort of thing can be emotional abuse, it can be just their way of joking around, it can be a form of humilation play or any number of things. Watch what they say in front of the sub - is it something as drastic as tell her she is beautiful, drop-dead sexy and giving her chocolates and then behind her back cracking cruel jokes about how he is fattening the cow up further?

If you should say something or not is pretty hard to call. There are definately things that, if Val were to make fun of behind my back, I should be informed about. But if he was talking about my previous sexual history, someone might think he was destroying reputation when he was just telling the truth. Consider what the fallout could be - is he just making himself look bad or is this something like posting nude pictures on her internet that could get her fired?

If you really think you should say something, think about why you want to do it. Do you have an interest in this sub at all? Is there anyone else you could compare notes with, someone with no interest in the situation? Maybe you are being overly sensitive to particular comments. If you do feel you need to tell them, be as honest as possible. Don't say that their dominant is destroying their reputation - tell them exactly what was said and that you weren't sure if they knew about that and you felt they needed to know. Let them decide if that is hurting their reputation or not.

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(in reply to NazjamRa)

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 3:05:25 PM

Justme696

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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

When is it ok to step up and tell someone that their reputation and name is being trashed by their Dominant, and how do you tell that person it's going on.

If it is a friend...tell her now. Then she atleast has time to act..towards you or the Dom.

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 3:51:14 PM

Constrictor1

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From: Constrictor1
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What is your motivation?

Constrictor1

(in reply to NazjamRa)

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 5:41:11 PM

littlebitxxx

Posts: 732
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quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

When is it ok to step up and tell someone that their reputation and name is being trashed by their Dominant, and how do you tell that person it's going on.

In which high school is this happening?

What reputation? What name? When a Dominant bad-mouths his own submissive he is trashing his own reputation and his own name and the situation will resolve itself because of that.

There was a guy i know who was a Drama King and found reason to speak badly of every submissive who entered into a relationship of any sort with him. Eventually he approached me and i was not interested because i'd heard the things he said about his ex's.... yuk!

Agree with this wholeheartedly, eyesopened. Sounds like yet another case of "Ah, waaaah, she left me" boohoo blues. Can't take any responsibility for himself so has to trash the ex? Heard it too many times before, can't stand the Poor Me attitude of the Do-me-wrong Doms. Immaturity plus!

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 6:56:51 PM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

When is it ok to step up and tell someone that their reputation and name is being trashed by their Dominant, and how do you tell that person it's going on.

When you have no personal stake in it (as in wanting her for yourself, directly or indirectly); and instead of telling the sub, take it up with the Dom. It insures that the reason you're getting involved in someone else's business is altruistic and not greedy. It takes no balls to accuse a man behind his back. It takes a good bit of evidence to feel secure enough to say it to his face.

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RE: interference - 2/17/2008 7:30:38 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NazjamRa

When is it ok to step up and tell someone that their reputation and name is being trashed by their Dominant, and how do you tell that person it's going on.

Typically I take a ad out in the newspaper. Kinda like those I saw you ads. Master X is dissing sub y. Master x is tall dark and hansome. Sub y is a no good slut. Last seen in the bedroom Master was swinging from a vine screaming you worthless slut. Sub y blindfolded and bound whispering oh master hurt me so good. Be on the lookout. In other words my your own fucking business.

BadOne

(in reply to NazjamRa)

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