Do you ever.... (Full Version)

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CliarSiofra -> Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 2:47:37 AM)

Feel that sometimes when you send a message to someone, just out of friendship. That they take it as more. There for not respond to the message?

Or

Sometimes want to send a message to someone but fear it isn't worth the time to see they have read it and won't replay?

Just wondering if anyone else gets these thoughts from time to time.



Chloelicious -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 2:53:49 AM)

hello

Yes it happends to me a lot . When i write to someone for friendship , i'm sometime taking there answers for more then friendship.



MissMorrigan -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 3:36:29 AM)

CliarSiofra, in this day and age people tend to be overly suspicious of others' intentions. I grew up where it was okay for women to compliment others and without fear of thinking I had a hidden agenda, i.e., hitting on them. I'm a little more cautious these days b/c it's rather embarrassing to have someone turn around and say, "I'm not interested" when I have complimented them on having such great hair - in this case, it was a woman who had very long glossy black tresses, not a split hair to be seen and it was in the most perfect condition, and I thought it simply the most beautiful hair I'd ever seen so complimented her on it. She assumed I was a lesbian and was hitting on her.

As for online and writing to others who have either said something that rang home and so I felt compelled to write and offer my thoughts, or have seen something outstanding on their profile that I wanted to compliment them on. Sometimes I get a nice reply, but on others there is a distinct suspicion as to my intention for writing, even though I have made my intention perfectly clear.

I am not going to change how I respond to others, while offline I am a little more cautious, I refuse to take responsibility for others' poor view of people.



MidMichCowboy -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 3:39:02 AM)

It happens all the time to me (I get called a dirty old man ... or that sex with me would be ewwwww). Its amusing. I like to comment on things people have written.
By the way ... I am a dirty old man [8|]    But the sex can be pretty damn good. I can even be enjoyable company.



Wisenlilminx -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 3:43:47 AM)

We figure there are lots of resons for the non-responses.
Generally, we let people know about local events such as munches, and if they want to respond that's ok, but don't worry if they don't.

Sometimes we run into some of them at munches, so the message even then, served it's purpose.



SailingBum -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 3:53:05 AM)

Typically I wont respond to a email unless I know the nick through these post.  I'm not looking for a slave either.

BadOne



Justme696 -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 3:55:28 AM)

Yes it happens.
Soem people react to a compliment with .."you live to far away"
Lol so?? the message arrived..not? A compliment doesn't mean....marry me...and move in. It means...I liked what you did with your profile...
IF you don't want people to respond...don't have a profile on the internet. 



Chloelicious -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 3:59:51 AM)

I could not have said that better myself

Justme willl you marry me and move in :-p



BlackPhx -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 5:00:03 AM)

Grins or that you liked or connected with something they posted. I can have admiration for the spirit someone shows in adversity or the wisdom shown in their words or even that something they have said connected with something in me being it past, present or hoped for future. It doesn't mean I am looking for anything more than to say Hi, I understand.

Unfortunately no matter how well or badly you write, people are going to interpret things from their own POV. All you can do is move on.

poenkitten (who will answer back most people who write to her and try to address what is in the email, not what is not)



AtlantaMistress -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 5:17:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme696

Yes it happens.
Soem people react to a compliment with .."you live to far away"
Lol so?? the message arrived..not? A compliment doesn't mean....marry me...and move in. It means...I liked what you did with your profile...
IF you don't want people to respond...don't have a profile on the internet. 


I get a good deal of unsolicited email - many messages that are "cut and paste" from sub/slaves that want to devote their lives to me, but obviously didn't take the time to read my profile. To those, I have had to "bite my tongue" (or in this case - hold my fingers) not to waste the time to respond to tell them how disrespectful I think it is. On the other hand, when I get a compliment from someone that has taken the time to read my profile/journals - it takes all of 3 seconds to type "thank you" and I always show my appreciation by at least doing that [;)]



PsyVamp -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 6:28:03 AM)

When people write to me and compliment, I will return an email and say thank you. 
If they have added something to that compliment, I will ask them to elaborate.  I never believe people are looking for anything from me unless they ask specifically.
Every now and again, I will randomly say something nice to someone if I see a profile that tugs me.  If they don't respond, I brush it off.


Lady Jag



thetammyjo -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 6:39:50 AM)

I take compliments for what they are given the venue they are on.

Claims to want to be my friend is responded to both positively and realistically. To be perfectly frank, I don't consider people I know online (regardless of time) to be friends -- I consider them to be online buddies. Friend is a word I reserve for people I have ongoing positive meatlife interactions with on a regular basis.

I don't often carry on dialogs onlines my busy level changes all the time and with all of the things I have going on in meatlife I don't need more pressure to do more "things" with more people whom I only know online.

So I rarely get too detailed in what I'll share with someone and I suppose that comes across as kind of cold at times. I'm more friendly with people I meet at conventions though even there unless it becomes some ongoing contact it is really superficial.



toservez -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 7:45:59 AM)

People are people and I do not think it is wise to ever guess a reason why someone might not respond to a message that is just a compliment and/or out of friendship.

I am sure some are jaded in terms of thinking everyone has an ulterior motive and some are probably just lazy.

I would though ask you how your messages are. I know many of the ones I receive come off so closed that a reply other then simply thanks is not really anything I would be urged to do. Also I know I get a lot of one sentence copy and paste messages from females wanting to be friends that come off as cold as when men who were interested in me came off.

I would have the same advice as I would with someone writing to pursue someone for a relationship, try making them personal and ask questions. Plus learn and just accept no response means no interest. Do not ever worry or get mad about another’s actions or guess motive in cyber.



Dnomyar -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 8:04:23 AM)

As most on here know I drop everyone a note sometime or other. If they dont respond I sacrifice a virgin sub. Now if you people don't want that on your hands then respond. Where do I get my virgin subs. You will have to write to find out. If you have written before then Im not going to tell you.



DesFIP -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 10:23:51 AM)

I usually can tell the difference. Another dom writing with an interesting viewpoint on a thread is something I will respond to. But a generic, "I liked your post on the x thread" makes me suspicious. And usually if I check the profile the generic comment is from someone in my area who is looking. Those I rarely reply to. But a substantial comment garners a response also to the subject.



HerLord -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 11:01:38 AM)

Well, I just posted this though on another thread... but it does seem to be apllicable here...
"So as it happens, I have an etiquette question that applies to this topic.
I had made a what I thought was a simple considerate "we are not a match." comment on a note I left someone as a notification to them, that I was not expecting them to have to run and hide from stalker or even really need to further reply. My question is... Was this in bad form? I got thouroughly lashed as being egotistical in thinking that all that visitied my site were looking for a match from me... Not real sure how I expressed it wrong, or if I did... But is there protocol that could reduce the hostility in responses/non-responses? "



Cyis75 -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 11:20:32 AM)

I try not to assume anything... I failed miserably on my ESP certification exams. I get the occassional message that is not just a friendly hello that doesn't match what we're seeking and I generally will reply back if the message received was atleast polite. Mostly out of courtesy as it's what I'd hope some I wrote would do. I've commented to forum posts, both here on CM and other sites, and received replies that clearly thought that my intent was more than just making a friendly comment/observation. I'd even had to show my partner my original email and while scratching my head ask if I missed something because the response was so far off the reservation.

It's happened, it'll happen again... you just ignore it and move on. I usually end any message to someone I've not contacted before with something along the lines of if they don't wish me to bother them again to kindly let me know so I can notate accordingly. I've had less than a handful over the past 3-4 years I've been on CM do so and I've never bothered to try writing them again. I couldn't hazzard a gues what the ratio with those that don't respond at all would be. If it's something that gets to you than might want to get thicker skin or the internet isn't the best place for you... Just like the "Humor" section obit for Common Sense, Common Courtesy has long since passed.



HerLord -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 11:28:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL:  I failed miserably on my ESP certification exams. Funny.
Just like the "Humor" section obit for Common Sense, Common Courtesy has long since passed. Too Sad... Too true..



Mast3rVip3r -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 12:06:17 PM)

I've tried a few times to talk to various people, but for the most part I don't get a response back. Even a "Sorry, not interested" is better than nothing at all.



Lumus -> RE: Do you ever.... (2/18/2008 12:10:59 PM)

Most of my talk is here, on the boards.  I let people take me, and what I say, as they will...




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