RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (Full Version)

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whenstarscollide -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 11:40:32 AM)

eh, i dont have a problem calling anyone 'sir' or 'ma'am' b/c i was raised to think of those terms as forms of formality and respect. it took me a little while to get used to the titles having sexual connotations, but have since become accustomed to it.

still, nothing beats calling out someone's actual NAME during sex...so intimate lol [:)]



lusciouslips19 -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 2:43:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rubberpet

Being from the south, I was raised to be polite.  The only ways I'll ever call a man "Sir" is if he is older, as a sign of respect, or if the person has provided me a service or gift.  I do not refer to male doms as sir and I never will.  I'm just not wired that way.  I will call any woman "Ma'am", no matter if she is domme or submissive.  I've always been taught to be respectful to women.  I remember geting a strange look by a nineteen year old girl at Wal-Mart for holding the door open for her.  She told me, "Thank you", for holding the door open, so I responded, "You're welcome, ma'am."  It's just a natural reaction, but she looked at me like I had a third eye.  LOL  Oh well, I guess not everyone appreciates a polite gentleman anymore.


Thats because Maam is a 4 letter word to some women. It makes us feel OLD! Stick with Miss. You'll be making the old ladies feel good!



christine1 -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 4:31:52 PM)

i don't call any dominant Sir that i'm not in a relationship with....



laurell3 -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 4:36:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnsensual

For some reason, an (for lack of a better word) endearment that has always pressed my button the wrong way has been "Sir."  Even when it's a Dom I like and respect, it's hard for me to call them Sir, even when they're my Dom.  But then I met this Dom and although we've been talking platonically for a while now (and may continue to do so as He is not in my area) and as my feelings develop more to the romantic, I've found myself more and more willing to call Him that, if he were to be my Dom at some point.  I'll add that Sir is the endearment He perfers. 

So, I was wondering if anything similar had ever happened to anyone else.  Have you ever objected to calling a Dom/me a certain name/endearment for whatever reason but then met someone who you would be comfortable calling that name or it just seems to fit?


Well although when the internet first caught up to the lifestyle it was commonplace for s types to call all D types by a title, I wouldn't do so now unless it was my D type.  When I first started doing it, I found it cheesy as hell, even with my D type.   
It may be you just need to get used to it.

It may be the relationship doesn't work for you and that's just a reflection of that fact.  We as human beings give titles to people in regular life without it having much meaning or even knowing the person.  I guess here, for me, it has to really have meaning and be someone I respect because I do know them for it to be fitting.



probablyknowme -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 5:20:12 PM)

I guess "Sick Mother F*cker" wouldn't work for most huh? [:D]



kallisto -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 5:39:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19


Thats because Maam is a 4 letter word to some women. It makes us feel OLD! Stick with Miss. You'll be making the old ladies feel good!


[:)]  I got a "Good evening, Miss" this evening from a young guy (had to be in his early 20s) holding the door for me.  It definitely put a smile on my face.    [:)]  



greenearth21 -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 6:38:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

i've had plenty of Doms get almost mad at me for saying "Sir" because they are not my Dominant. 



...where do you find these great understanding doms?*sighs*  I cant seem to get those but get the others that get pissy when I say no...politely. Hm...Maybe i'm sendng off the wrong message.  Shux....lucky you!!!



atursvcMaam -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 9:51:23 PM)

<---long enough in the military to use Sir or Ma'am without question and without giving it a great deal of thought.  i am never called sir in lifestyle situations, but in the vanilla world, i immediately correct with my name, or with a typical military non-officer response.



crouchingtigress -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 10:34:14 PM)

i think that one day if you are really really lucky and able to handle it, you find yourself in awe of someone that knows you in a way no one else ever has, can touch you deeper then any one ever has, and will push you into your own shadows in a way that feels safe, and scary at the same time.

if you are lucky enough to experiance that, you will find your self on your knees , in awe of this person, and you will want to honor him or her, and you will want to honor the relationship...when you feel it deep down in the softest most vulnerable places of your protected heart...you will say it and youll mean it...and it will change your life.



atursvcMaam -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 11:06:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

i think that one day if you are really really lucky and able to handle it, you find yourself in awe of someone that knows you in a way no one else ever has, can touch you deeper then any one ever has, and will push you into your own shadows in a way that feels safe, and scary at the same time.

if you are lucky enough to experiance that, you will find your self on your knees , in awe of this person, and you will want to honor him or her, and you will want to honor the relationship...when you feel it deep down in the softest most vulnerable places of your protected heart...you will say it and youll mean it...and it will change your life.



i understand, agree, and realize that when one has that person so deeply in their heart, mind, soul and spirit, that titles fail to have a meaning.  the respect, love, awe, and admiration will be read in every aspect of a sub's being.
  just my point of view.



deliciousmorsel -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/19/2008 11:07:46 PM)

I was originally told to just call every male Dominant in this Lifestyle Sir, so as not to piss off any insecure ... The words fail me, but you've met him. I find myself using the term less and less, more in the every day way of the South but I find that respect needs to be earned here as much as anywhere else.
Special honorifics for men I could get to submit to me seems kinda silly- have you noticed they always anoint themselves Master So and So? And expect everyone to call them that?
I have a Master. He's a licensed fencing master with 4 Olympic medals and a couple of World Championships. I call him Bubbles. He answers to it. Decades of sarcasm will become affection at some point...
When I find the Other Kind, I'll call him whatever he wants. And terms of utmost adoration and respect should be included!



eyesopened -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/20/2008 2:09:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: probablyknowme
I guess "Sick Mother F*cker" wouldn't work for most huh? [:D]


Well that's InkedMaster's pet name...i thought we were talking about titles.



SailingBum -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/20/2008 4:53:13 AM)

I get called sir quite a bt in real life.  Just means Im older than them.



Dnomyar -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/20/2008 5:47:26 AM)

Mmmm then SailingBum I guess that I can call you kid.



atursvcMaam -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/20/2008 9:25:09 AM)

i tried You Whippersnapper, but apparently, as descriptive as that might be, it has negative connotations.



Manawyddan -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/23/2008 5:04:15 AM)

I expect anyone in a D/s relationship to me to call me 'Sir.'

From a sub whom I am meeting causually, or the first time, I neither expect nor demand to be called 'Sir.' If offered, however, I do take it as a sign of respect and treat it as such.



Justme696 -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/23/2008 5:46:53 AM)

My girl only calls me Master/Sir when she responds to an order.
The overly use of Sir makes me numb for it. I prefer to girl to be really submissive then just to "act as.."
But well..if your Owner demands it..there is not much choice.



adoracat -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/23/2008 10:31:13 AM)

~fast reply~

i call himself Daddy.  Master if the mood strikes me, Sir if i'm being chastised.  Evil Sadistic Bastard if he's being, well, that's pretty self-descriptive, isnt it?  Pookie if there's a clear escape route. [:D]

i'd say Sir to a dominant i was being introduced to, unless he asked me to address him by another name...although i wouldnt say Master or MyLord because he isnt those things to me.  Sir (or Ma'am) is a matter of respect, which i will grant until its proved that the person deserves no respect whatsoever.

kitten



Cradyn -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/23/2008 11:17:41 AM)

Even though i'm new to alot of this. I've spent time with quite a few Dom's and such. Rightfully I can state, I have a problem calling them thier proper name/title or desired name/title mainly because I was never taught to as a kid. I grew up never having a reason to call anyone sir or Ma'am.

But..on a flip side. I went to visit my best friend this last xmas and without reason..I almost completely fell on her Master/boyfriend by calling him Sir.. He just had that quality about him and treatement towards me that made me want to do it..

I know I could get into the habit of occassionally calling a Master or Mistress a title that they wish... But as for doing it consistantly...I get the feeling that i'll be in more pain than admiration. >.>



tigerseye -> RE: Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? (2/23/2008 1:31:02 PM)

until i know them personally i refuse to call them Sir or Ma'am instead of names.  i grew up in the deep deep south where i could get into serious trouble at school if i didn't say yes ma'am, no sir, and that sort of thing.  which 2 almost 3 years after moving away, it's still very much here but it's such a numb term for me.  the only time i will call any Dom Sir with any meaning is when my Master tells me this is how you address them.  for me the term is one of respect which to strangers it means nothing...when i say it i want to mean it. 
i don't say sir to my Master, for him it is an insult, so when i do call him by a title it's Master...or dork when i have a clear shot of the door ^_~



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