hopelesslyInvo
Posts: 522
Joined: 2/10/2008
From: the future
Status: offline
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i'm on a reverse side, i'm not one to refer to anyone as mistress, and it's even uncommon for me to say ma'am. it feels out of place for me, and i've never been reliant on titles to insinuate respect. i've also never cared for the little C/capital letters game of the internet. it means nothing to me, i don't care that others do it, i simply don't share in their necessity of it, or reasons for doing it. to me it's completely arbitrary and like saying to someone in person "good morning capital em mr. capital eee edgeworth". just "mr. edgeworth" should be more than sufficient in any means of courtesy or respect. but in titles altogether, saying yes, "Mistress Alexia of the Wolf and Stars that shine over our lives" (over exaggeration much? lol) seems just as odd to me as being referred to as "slave andrew" or something, the name is enough. everyone has a name, and i like to stick with those, the name has more definition and importance than a "label", and i hate putting labels on things.
whether or not i talk to people on equal level, i still talk to people on a personal level, and find titles and labels dissassociating, and highly unecessary. for the most part though, i don't often refer to people in the first place. for instance, if i need someone's attention, i call their name if i know it, otherwise i gesture to them and say excuse me, or in often cases, my direction to them is obvious enough to not need to do anything other than speak. if i need to talk to josh, and josh is talking to sarah, i will probably say "hey josh". i might also walk up to a woman and say "excuse me ma'am", but i'm not going to put the word ma'am or the name josh or the title mistress at the end of every sentence or reply.
say i did have a mistress, and say she asked/told me to turn the heater up, some people like these games and would respond "yes Mistress, i do all my Mistress requires", i'm more prone to say nothing at all, or simply nod, or if i do say something, to say "mm'hmm", or "sure, be right back. would you like me to grab a comforter for you too?". i would retain my natural intelligence in dialogue and conversation, even if at the time of her asking it i was being used as a an ottoman, or in the middle of a discussion during dinner.
normally i just tend to use titles in condescending sarcasm. like when i worked at wal-mart during high school, i might be asked why the hell i was mixing paint for someone instead of doing my other tasks like driving the forklift, i would probably say "because someone needed paint mixed, and since no one's in hardware they came to me, and customer satisfaction is still priority #1... right? mr. senior executive marketing manager of customer service?" some might see that as me having a problem with authority, i rather saw the customers being the authority. the customers are the mistress, the store is just the leash. i sure know i called customers "sir" and "ma'am" much more than i did any of my "superiors". the workplace is like a poly household; and with wal-mart you had a lot of masters to please, and did so along side a handful of other servants, who just so happened to be clad in a quite snazzy blue vest in place of a collar.
another reason i'm reluctant to call someone my "mistress", is the other meaning of the word that i have known for far longer, that of course being "a woman who is having sexual relations to a man other than her husband". in the vanilla world, you tell john that heather is someone's mistress, most likely he's going to assume he/she is cheating on their spouse. but if you tell john that heather is a dominatrix, he'll better understand what you're talking about, even if he does look at the both of you a little weird from then on. why does john need to know anyway? but that's not to suggest i'd use that term either or say "yes, my dominatrix" when asked of something. but simply, if i called someone my mistress, even if it wasn't what i'd implied, i'd feel like i'd be telling someone, and i'd expect them to assume "this is just some girl i'm secretly screwing". if someone were to ask me "what is laura to you?" (aside from a figment of my imagination) i will tell them what laura means to me, not put a label on her or us (such as delusional). i could feel comfortable in saying in a more openly defined sense, she is my dominant, leaving many ways to interpret but overall understanding of her importance to me, but assuming their likely response will be a shit eating grin followed by "oooohohoo, i get what you're saying bro, i like em fiesty too"... i'd probably just stick to saying "she is what matters most to me", and let them think what they will.
more to the point though, if my dear laura, who i would do any number of things to please, wanted me to call and refer to her as "mistress", i would be very well inclined to start doing so. i might not feel comfortable at first, i might feel extremely silly each time i say it, but i seek the means to make my dearest figment of imagination we know as laura happy and content. if she wanted, i would call her bob, i would end every sentence with and answer every question as "yes, bob", i would capitalize Bob on the internet while being respectful to lower-case bobs, and i would tell our waiter that "my Mistress Bob would like another glass of zinfindel, so lets not keep Bob waiting shall we". i'd introduce her to my co-workers as mistress if she wanted, or wear a collar with my suit each day, if she even simply found it to be cute or the slightest bit desirable.
basically, if it was requested that i refer to laura as mistress, i'm sure i would. but just in doing that, it wouldn't mean that although i now refer to her as mistress, i would find the need to without end constantly refer to her and respond to every sentence with "yes mistress", "i live only for you mistress", "i have the personality and the thought process of a playskool robot which causes boredom even in the 3 year olds they are designed for, mistress".
until such a case exists that my mannerisms are not seen as the most pleasant to someone i desire to please in the first place, i will and must remain the yet unmolded version of "me", and not be of the predefined.
it's just like talking dirty. some people have a hard time doing it, some do it quite naturally, some are comfortable with it when it comes to certain people, but anyone holds the capability of becoming comfortable with it and used to doing it, if they give it enough time. and if you can get to a point you're able to say it and make it sound natural, it will feel natural to say.
but the actual question you ask though? i just feel more comfortable around some people than i would others, and that basically covers everything. with people i feel less comfortable with, i feel unease and only comfortable with certain things. such as like those people you know you can just run up to and hug the hell out of, and those that would just prefer to shake your hand if they're going to touch you at all.
< Message edited by hopelesslyInvo -- 2/19/2008 8:44:38 AM >
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Troubles with calling a Dom "Sir"? - 
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