RE: BDSM Bloopers

RE: BDSM Bloopers (Full Version)

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Sunnyfey -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 10:55:07 AM)
apprently i forgot to mention.......i tend to be very lady like when i sit down on the floor, I tend to cross my legs and lay them out infront of me. Umm........when i sat on it...i sat on it with my ass...... so velvet skirt and panties up my backdoor with a beer bottle. IT WAS NOT AS FUN AS IT SOUNDS.

LadyLolly -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 11:36:49 AM)
Not my blooper but my favorite all the same. My favorite neighborhood dungeon had a little leather shop/kink booth in it. One of the boys was talking to another when this preppie type dude came in looking for a "gag gift" (yeah right) for a party he was going to later. So he's looking around while the boy continues on talking to the other about a really intense scene where a fellow was suspended, his sack opened up, the testes rolled around in his own mouth and then sewn back up. Needless to say the preppie dude no longer was interested in finding anything more than the door to make a hasty exit! But no, the boy steps in front of the exit door and enquires in a really twangy southern drawl to the preppy " Is you all interested in the BDSM lifestyle?" Maybe it's just my warped sense of humor, but I keep imagining a smokin set of feet prints up and over the boy as the preppie scrambled to get the heck on outta there.

Reflectivesoul -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 11:51:20 AM)
OMG you guys LOL LOL LOL ok I have another one, wasnt so much of a blooper but omg it was so funny, I felt and still feel bad about it, but oh I have never laughed so hard in muh life.. Same boy as previously ( he's glutton poor thing lol ) I had gotten this wonderful idea that since he had been such a twerp for a few days that as punishment he was going to be introduced to the fine art of nads hair removal gel... seeing that he thought it was sooo amusing when I waxed my own legs.. I decided to do his.. I made him lay down on his belly and I started with the upper back of his thigh, just below his ass cheek, I was going for the good spot cause I wanted to make him squeal.. and squeal he did omg lol I put the gel on, rubbed on the strip and he was like oh this aint bad, then riiiiiiiiiiiiiiip he screamed like a girl, omg I lost it. Started on another section, this time with just the gel that was stuck on the rip strip, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip and he was screamin again, said I was a horrible person and this was not funny at all, and omg the worse he screamed the more I laughed, I managed to get the whole back of one of his legs before he safe worded out. About an hour later he was like yeah that wasnt shit.. I was like oh really? Drug him back over and started again, much to his surprise I glopped some gel on his bare ass... he was like yeah go ahead do it it dont hurt... ( cocky lil fucker he is sometimes lol ) I rubbed the strip down, got almost right to the crack of his ass, waited a sec he tensed his ass cheeks so I waited and waited, soon as I saw his butt relax, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.. omg he screamed sooo bad.. and I bout died, was laughing so bad I couldnt breathe.. It was absolutely the most fucked up thing cause I couldnt quit laughing, I dont know what was worse that I felt bad cause I was cryin I was laughin so hard, or that I actually enjuoyed it when he screamed like a girl.. and mind you I am not that bad of a sadist but with him oh lord lol... So anyhow now if I buy nads gel, he shaves everything before he ever comes over [sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

BlackPhx -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 12:07:20 PM)
You are a cruel, cruel woman [sm=biggrin.gif] especially since you reminded me of a couple I know and have loved dearly as friends for many years. She is a wonderful Domina, he submissive/switch..but always willing to try things before she does. He tried the Epi-lady he bought for her, had a few bits of skin yanked out along with the hairs, decided to bury it in the back yard and get her another gift. He saw the commercials for NADS (a most inauspiciously named hair removal system from Australia) and decided he would try it with an eye towards her comfort. Same reaction your subbie had only He didn't go back for a second run. He and She carefully spread the Nads over his belly hair and into the groin area. Followed directions carefully. Her report was " You know that cartoon where the dog sneaks up behind the cat, barks and the cat hits the ceiling? I didn't think it could be done..he did it!" I decided then and there, Nads was NOT on my shopping list. poenkitten [sm=wave.gif] (sigh spelling)

CrimsonMoan -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 12:11:45 PM)
adds Nads to shopping list [8\|] I think I've found my new motivator

MsSaskia -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 12:34:46 PM)
I was doing a video where I was stapling someone's back. I ran out of staples in the surgical stapler I was using and went to a new stapler. The new one was a type I hadn't used before: very small and a bit difficult to tell at first glance which was the business end. It also didn't make the familiar 'kachunk' noise I was used to from other brands of surgical stapler. I picked it up from the small table nearby and went to put a staple in the bottom's back. I applied it to her back and squeezed the stapler, but when I pulled my hand and the stapler away, I didn't see a staple in her back. I moved my hand to put the stapler back on the small table so I could have a closer look, and found that I was unable to put the stapler down. It had stuck to my hand - was just dangling there - and wouldn't shake off. The camera was rolling and I was there trying to pry the little stapler off my hand, which was connected to it by a misfired staple. I hadn't felt it go in at all, I was concentrating so much on what I'd been doing to my girl. Meanwhile, the bottom for the video was wondering what was going on. I told my boy we'd be editing that part out and he laughed and shooked his head and said, "Blooper reel!" I hope he lost that one, but it was pretty funny. I won't buy those little staplers any more. They misfire constantly.

Reflectivesoul -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 12:48:52 PM)
LOL poen [:D] Word to the wise, there is a warning on the label that says dont do the pubic hair, its too densly populated with hair and you can rip tissue and dont wax around nipples, anywhere else its fair game. snicker I thought about doing his belly but I happen to like the lil happy trail he has and its all soft nods but his ass was hit lol lol lol it took almost 3 months for the hair to grow back on the back of his thigh lol oh gawd I still laugh every time I think about it... he doesnt lol I told him I had posted about that, he got all huffy lol said that aint funny, Yes Yes Yes it was LOL LOL LOL [:D][:D]

CrimsonMoan -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 12:53:29 PM)
they keep their respective bushes either trimmed or bare so no prob there. Its the damn hobbit feet that have to go. The rest is just for my own sick amusement - arms back butts etc.

OmegaG -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 12:57:10 PM)
FR Nothing as extreme as everyone else, but a learning moment for me. I like pain, and years and years of being one of the boys taught me not to display any pain. m'Lord likes to hear me beg, so between his desire to push me until I begged for him to stop and my stubborness in bearing the pain he loaded so many weights onto the nipple clamps that they ripped off. Were it not for his concern that my nipple was OK, he would have enjoyed the scream. I have to learn to start begging when it hurts, not when it really, really hurts.

Skully7000 -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 12:59:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop yeah, Skully...but what did you DO? (I know where my mind went.. just curious if I was right..LOL) We Tickled Her. she was in pretty good subspace. I wasn't quite sure if she was going to cry or start laughing or just flop around like a fish(which is one of my favorite things about the partial suspension..just enough traction to squirm more but not really gain any ground from it) she didn't quite cry...but it was most definitly a not fun type of tickle torture. I think it was definitly one of the most sadistic tortures I've given her(not physically but mentally it was pushing all the right buttons) So GreedyTop were you right? Cheers Skully

GreedyTop -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 1:02:47 PM)
lol Skully... nope, but thats evil too LOL

SteelofUtah -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 1:19:05 PM)
A friend of mine e-mailed to remind me of what he thought was the funniest damn thing he had ever seen. I was doing a Dom Retreat with a guy who was teaching Practical Bull Whip use in Scene play when we broke for lunch which was made by the Demo's own wife and his two other slaves. My Friend and I wandered into the Dungeon (Modified Garage Conversion) and started to look over his VAST array of toys and things most things I knew what wer but there was a Tas and a Quirt on the board and I had never seen them before as I was not privy to the Internet at this point. I started looking at them when the Demo Instructor came in and told me to feel free to give it a try. He walked out of the room and I removed my shirt and gave myself two HARD smacks with the Tas first finding it a little intense but good feel and just as I started the over the shoulder swing with the Quirt, in comes the Demonstrator with his slave whom he had gone to get for me to practice on it turned out. As the Quirt made contact I screamed, It HURT like a BITCH, More sting then I was ready for and I came down to my knees and started swearing. At this all 15 other attending Doms came in and without missing a Beat my friend says "Okay who's next, he said he was ready for something different" with the way things gone down all the other 15 saw was me on my knees with the Quirt lying at the feet of the slave that the Demonstrator had just went and got and in another BEAUTIFUL show of comedic Timing she looks back to the door and the 15 other Doms and says "I swear he did this to Himself." To this day I laugh a little when someone asks me what a Quirt is and if they hurt. Hope that made someones day, I still think setting the cat on fire was funnier but my buddy who e-mails thinks this was WAY more entertaining. As Always Steel

Skully7000 -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 1:26:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop lol Skully... nope, but thats evil too LOL Tease. I was sitting here trying to resist asking for a good 30 seconds before i caved. So what were you thinking?

Gleegal67 -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 2:37:51 PM)
Years ago, I had the opportunity to be the Alpha Tester for my Dom who had a machine shop, equipped with 2 CNC machines, and all the lovely tools to make his evil toys. One day, being tied to the cross in his room, he proceeds to bring out his latest invention. He was experimenting with different add-ons for TENS units...I loved his Magic Wand invention..and was looking forward to his next creation. This one happened to be metal clothespins that he had made. My eyes are wide and I'm asking as sweetly as possible, "Where are you going to put those, Sir?" All scientific and professional he responds with, "On your lovley cunt lips of course! Please give me a detailed account of the sensations when I work through the different settings." Feeling the cold metal clothespins clamped on my nether regions, was a lovely sensation. I was really looking forward to what was going to happen when he turned on the TENS unit attached to the end of the clothespins. Let me tell you, the sensation was....OMFG!!!!! It was like feeling needles being impedded deep into my vagina! All I could verbalize was...."Spikey! Spikey! Off! Off! NOWWWWW!" Now obviously, this is not a good testing, and my Dom realized it quickly. He responded with grabbing the clothespins, while the TENS was still connected and on. Well, as electricity has a habit of not cooperating, as soon as he touched the clothespins, his hands were immedieately charged open. He proceeded to try to grab them another 3 or 4 times, all with the same response...his fingers couldn't grasp the metal electrified clothespins. Finally, he realized, turn the TENS unit off. Brilliant of him really...considering he has an IQ of above average...that he couldn't figure out turning off the unit sooner! When I could catch my breath, and he quit laughing at his not so smart response, the good Alpha Tester I was told him, "Please go back to the drawing board!" To this day, it brings tears of laughter to our eyes, remembering his brilliance!

Skully7000 -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 2:47:56 PM)
Being a mechanical engineer and having worked in a Machine shop...this one hit close to home! OMFG i was cracking up.

BlackPhx -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 2:57:54 PM)
I'm not an engineer and I almost pee'd my chair I was laughing so hard...I have to commiserate with your Master however, since I have been known to grab things that are HOT without grabbing a oven mitt first...emergencies tend to make us forget..turn it off, grab a glove. poenkitten (giggling even now)

kittish -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 3:40:15 PM)
Mine isn't nearly as funny as some of these, but here it is. I was bound and blindfolded, being flogged by the Dominant I played with from time to time when I heard this thump back behind me. I knew exactly what had happened, the flogger had slipped out of His hand on the backswing and I could NOT stop myself from giggling audibly. He said 'are you laughing at Me?!' in this outraged aggrieved tone of voice that only made me laugh more. Of course, I paid for my giggles.... boy did I!

camille65 -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 3:43:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlackPhx You are a cruel, cruel woman [sm=biggrin.gif] especially since you reminded me of a couple I know and have loved dearly as friends for many years. She is a wonderful Domina, he submissive/switch..but always willing to try things before she does. He tried the Epi-lady he bought for her, had a few bits of skin yanked out along with the hairs, decided to bury it in the back yard and get her another gift. He saw the commercials for NADS (a most inauspiciously named hair removal system from Australia) and decided he would try it with an eye towards her comfort. Same reaction your subbie had only He didn't go back for a second run. He and She carefully spread the Nads over his belly hair and into the groin area. Followed directions carefully. Her report was " You know that cartoon where the dog sneaks up behind the cat, barks and the cat hits the ceiling? I didn't think it could be done..he did it!" I decided then and there, Nads was NOT on my shopping list. poenkitten [sm=wave.gif] (sigh spelling) Ohgod. Ohgod. Flashback.Epi-lady thing. Evil. Someone hide me please?

GreedyTop -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 3:48:45 PM)
LMAO, Glee!! I have to echo what poenkitten said... STILL laughing.... and partly because I've been in a position of ... rather forecefully.. saying "Spikey! Spikey! Off! Off! NOWWWWW!" myself.... LOL

Emperor1956 -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 4:17:30 PM)
This is a perennial CM topic...go back to "MOST FUNNIEST THING" -- a thread of a while ago. Here are my two favorite bloopers...one I witnessed, one I was the "Bloopie": The first funny story is on a famous scene person. Bullwhips are dangerous, we all know, and when handled skillfully, they are beautiful. I was watching Robert Dante, probably the greatest living "cracker" in the scene (and one of the greats period) about 10 years ago in Toronto. Bob was giving a demonstration with a long whip....10 feet or more? He was in a ballroom at a fancy hotel at a big international scene event. Earlier in the day I'd taken a class on whipcracking for Dominants from Dante, and he stressed time and again that the whip is perfectly submissive -- it will do EXACTLY what you tell it to do, every time. So all the missed targets, bad throws and the throws that wind up slapping you on the ass, HARD, are the result of YOU telling the whip what to do -- badly. So Mr. Dante steps to the center of the room. He warms up a bit with some side arm cracks...just unrolling the whip, making it crack beautifully, and then snapping it back. He pauses....he does a lovely overhand throw.....and he brings down a good part of the heavy chandelier about 4 feet in front (and 10 feel ABOVE) his head! There is a moment of silence, then a huge wave of laughter...Dante, included. (In all fairness, as I understand it, he had checked the room a month or so earlier, but did not know that they rehung the chandelier about 1 ft lower than it had been). As for Me...I was doing a scene in a little D/s B&B that regrettably is no more. My partner was my slave of many years. This dungeon was very small, and so there were usually only a few spectators during play time. The dungeon had a small sound system, and I like some music while I play. Whatever CD was in the player stopped during a fairly long and steady flogging I was giving my slave, and so I reached over to switch discs...I forget what I meant to put in (I was really concentrating on her, not the music) but I fumbled somehow and put in a compilation of Irish Rovers -- the really "diddley-diddley" fiddles and guitar stuff. The music starts...I'm a bit taken aback because it is NOT what I expected, and my slave mutters, in a perfect Irish accent "Aye, he's always after me Lucky Charms." You cannot do florentine flogging when you are doubled over giggling. Don't try it. E.

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