RE: BDSM Bloopers (Full Version)

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faerytattoodgirl -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 4:20:16 PM)

you said it was a strappy!!!.... I LIED!!




bleusparkles -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 4:37:33 PM)

With my first Dom, I broke his nose with my pelvis.




CrimsonMoan -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 4:38:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles

With my first Dom, I broke his nose with my pelvis.



O.O get a lil to excited did ya?




Reflectivesoul -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 4:59:18 PM)

ok a huge round of hugs for all the so far posts LOL LOL LOL nothing quite like a good laugh over some good ( bad) situations lol




CalifChick -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 5:11:58 PM)

The last time we did the "your funniest moment"... I told of my fire dude incident.  Being that we were talking about men in uniform on another thread, here is my contribution to the "oops" genre:

A long time ago in my wild and crazy youth, I was at a work convention and met up with a regular "friend".  One of the perks of being the convention organizer was that I had a suite.  In this particular hotel, most of the suites were on the first floor.  The ceilings were very very high, same height as in the ballrooms.  And my suite was very close to the front desk.  All of this will be important in a minute.

So I have handcuffed and tied my friend to the bed and we were having a good time.  Suddenly the smoke alarm in my room goes off.  Not the fire alarm that is hardwired but the smoke alarm.  So, what to do... get it to stop, or take the time to release friend from the bed.  My split-second decision was to get it to stop.  So I picked up my shoes (first thing I could grab) and stand on the bed, and try throwing them at the smoke alarm.  I threw everything I could get my hands on at the darn thing.  Friend is laughing hysterically at me standing on the bed, jumping and trying to hit the damn alarm! The ceiling was very high remember.

Then comes the knock on the door.  Oh keerap.  At this point I have the ice bucket in my hands and heave it at the ceiling.  Direct hit, the whole alarm comes down and stops blaring. WHAM the ice bucket hits the floor.  The knocking gets more persistent and I hear them calling, "HELLO?  IS ANYBODY IN THERE?  DO YOU NEED HELP?"  Thank god for security locks, because they were trying to open the door at that point.  Friend is no longer laughing but now begging me to uncuff him.  I go to the nightstand while hollering "YES I'M FINE I'LL BE RIGHT THERE".  The cuff keys are no longer on the nightstand.  They fell down between the nightstand and the bed and I can't reach them.  He is begging me to let him loose.

So I throw on a robe, tell him to SHUT UP, throw a blanket over his naked body and run out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind me, and run to the door of the suite, which they are still pounding on.  I open the door and there is the front desk manager, the maintenance guy, random guests gathered behind them (the suites opened up onto an atrium lobby), I look up into the atrium (15 or 20 stories) and see people gathered along the walkways peering over the railings, and the fire department dudes are coming thru the lobby.  Jeeeeeezus.  I try to convince them that everything is fine but the fire department wants to take a look around. 

I grab the fire department guy that looks like he is in charge and pull him aside and tell him that nothing having to do with fire was going on, but that I wasn't comfortable letting a hundred people into the bedroom because I had "company."  And he says, I swear on all that is holy.... "let me guess, you have a guy tied to your bed."  The stunned look on my face says it all. 

He turns around and tells everybody else to get out, he will handle this.  And he closes the main door into the suite. So we go to the bedroom door, and find that it is locked. How I managed to lock it when I ran out of it, I have no freakin idea.  So fire dude goes BACK out and comes back with a pokey thingy to unlock the door.  Can my embarrassment get ANY worse???

So we go in together and fire dude can't stop laughing.  Guy on the bed is NOT laughing. Fire dude drags the bed away from the wall and retrieves the cuff keys and hands them to me.  I unlock the cuffs and fire dude shakes my friend's hand and says something to the effect of "lucky dude... I don't even WANT to know if you all are usually this smokin hot". Ha ha, everyone is a comedian.  Then he takes a glance around, and he sees... shoes everywhere, ice bucket, briefcase, books, all those things I tried throwing at the smoke alarm... and he says, "no... I do NOT want to know."  Then he tells me to call them if I need anything (oy!) and "have a nice night".

He picks up the smoke alarm from the floor and he and I walk out.  He hands the smoke alarm to the maintenance dude and tells him to fix it tomorrow, we've had enough excitement for one night.  Ya think??

The next day, I got lots of looks and giggles.  I just smiled and said "I'm smokin hot, what can I say."  SIGH.

Cali




GreedyTop -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 5:14:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Skully7000

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

lol Skully... nope, but thats evil too LOL


Tease. I was sitting here trying to resist asking for a good 30 seconds before i caved. So what were you thinking?


Watersports :D




GreedyTop -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 5:17:48 PM)

omg, that's great, Cali!!  LOL




bbwbutterfly -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 6:13:13 PM)

Bleusparkles your post made me think back to when a Dom I was with swears I nearly tried to break his neck. I am extremely ticklish, all over my body. I do mean extremely ticklish. To make a long story short, he was doing oral on me (which is something I tend to pass on) it tickled, my legs clamped shut and of course he tries using his hands to pry them apart, which only made it tickle more. He kept saying loosen up and I kept trying to tell him not to move because it was tickling. Finally I was able to loosen up enough so that he could get away but after that he swore he would use spreader bars on me if oral was ever going to happen again.

Now we still laugh over it, when we talk, especially when I recall the look on his face, a shocked expression trapped between my legs. I was so embarrassed but he was a good sport about it.

I have really enjoyed reading everyone's posts... thank you to the OP for starting this thread.




shysub0951 -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/19/2008 10:22:19 PM)

Great Story, though i do feel bad for the kitty[sm=biggrin.gif] 
i've had my moments where my Dom and i will be cuddled up together and for some unknown reason i'll burst out laughing for no reason.




sadomasokisti -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 6:41:01 AM)

Few years ago I was tying up a play partner.  At that time I didn't have available play space so I sometimes went to the office late at night.  It was not for the first time... but she was naked securely tied down in my office chair and I was just starting to do some business when I heard the front door open.  The cleaning crew decided to show up at 23:00 instead of normal 17:00 .

Luckily my cubicle (yes open workspace)  was situated besides a file storage room so I could roll her in there, close the door, throw the toys into the toy bag and pretend to be working.

Three years later there was still a white spot in the office chair that reminded me of this every day I went to work.




MsBearlee -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 8:14:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

...
I was going for the good spot cause I wanted to make him squeal.. and squeal he did omg lol I put the gel on, rubbed on the strip and he was like oh this aint bad, then riiiiiiiiiiiiiiip he screamed like a girl, omg I lost it. Started on another section, this time with just the gel that was stuck on the rip strip, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip and he was screamin again, said I was a horrible person and this was not funny at all, and omg the worse he screamed the more I laughed, I managed to get the whole back of one of his legs before he safe worded out. About an hour later he was like yeah that wasnt shit.. I was like oh really? Drug him back over and started again, much to his surprise I glopped some gel on his bare ass... he was like yeah go ahead do it it dont hurt... ( cocky lil fucker he is sometimes lol ) I rubbed the strip down, got almost right to the crack of his ass, waited a sec he tensed his ass cheeks so I waited and waited, soon as I saw his butt relax, riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.. omg he screamed sooo bad.. and I bout died, was laughing so bad I couldnt breathe...


OMG...THAT was priceless!  Lordy I love a good Sadist!  What fun!!!
 
...and who said a young woman can't be a good Top/Domme/Sadist?    That was very, very yummie!
 
Nads, you say?  I'll look for the stuff...  Thanks!!!
 
MsB




Sundowner -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 8:55:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah

I Set The CAT on Fire!

Steel


ROFL - I was physically laughing just reading that intro line.




Sundowner -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 8:56:55 AM)

 
quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

"I'm smokin hot, what can I say."  SIGH.

Cali


Oh Cali! Love it.




bleusparkles -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 11:42:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrimsonMoan

quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles

With my first Dom, I broke his nose with my pelvis.



O.O get a lil to excited did ya?



To make it worse, when we went to the ER he told everyone who would listen how his nose got broken. His mother was an ER nurse and as it turns out, she was working that night ... Naturally she walks into the room grinning about the story floating around about the big guy with the broken nose and his blushing girlfriend ... Grinning until she saw us, of course.

She never spoke to me again.

His father, on the other hand, thought it was the best story he'd ever heard and never let me live it down.




CrimsonMoan -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 11:48:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrimsonMoan

quote:

ORIGINAL: bleusparkles

With my first Dom, I broke his nose with my pelvis.



O.O get a lil to excited did ya?



To make it worse, when we went to the ER he told everyone who would listen how his nose got broken. His mother was an ER nurse and as it turns out, she was working that night ... Naturally she walks into the room grinning about the story floating around about the big guy with the broken nose and his blushing girlfriend ... Grinning until she saw us, of course.

She never spoke to me again.

His father, on the other hand, thought it was the best story he'd ever heard and never let me live it down.



mothers can be like that sometimes.




CreativeDominant -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 12:54:01 PM)

Great stories...and yeah, I have a couple of my own.  I told this one to RS and she suggested...when she got through laughing...that I bring it here.

I've noted on here before that my first submissive and I were constantly learning with each other because we were both new.  One time when she came to visit, she presented me with a new, expensive trio of clamps.  I had her all nice and tied up...wrists to the headboard, ankles to the spreader bar...and I began attaching the clamps.  First on were the nipple clamps and then the clit clamp.  Tightened the set screws on the nipple clamps, smiling happily as I listen to her groan and whimper nicely as they get tighter.  Moved down to the clit clamp and began tightening the set screw.  Chuckling evilly while she groans louder.  Then I hear "yellow" and I look up at her and wait a bit.  She nodded and smiled and I tightened the screw a bit more.  But that was all it took was just that bit more and she whimpered out "red...oh red...oh Sir, that reallllllllllllllllly hurts...I feel a sting and not a good one all through my pussy".  Like the kind, considerate sadist I am, I confidently begin to loosen the set screw.  Now...I don't know whether or not it was because my fingers were wet from her or we had a bumsteer clamp or what but the second I turned the screw, the head and shaft of the screw broke!  I murmured "Oh shit" and she looked at me wide-eyed.  I just knew that behind that look, her mind was thinking "What do you mean...oh shit?"  I then began trying to manually force the jaws of the clamp apart which resulted in my pulling and twisting her clit more and was accompanied by sounds of "owwwwwwwwwwww!!!  Damn....Sir! that really hurts!!!"  By now, she began to squirm, which of course did not help matters any.  Neither did the fact that her body was still responding to the pain and the pleasure by getting wetter.  By now I had my face down there and a towel over her so I could stay dry.  She's whimpering and still being respectful but I just knew that she was thinking "Goddamnit...that motherfucking hurts...get it off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Sir" 
Then finally...a bright idea.  I smiled and told her..."don't go anywhere..I promise I will be right back."  Interesting look that statement got me...[;)]  I went down to my car and got my toolbox and carried it back up to the room and got a pair of spreaders (the kind you use to spread old-type automotic clamps apart).  With the eye-widening that occurred with those, I knew that what she was really thinking was something along the lines of "Just what the HELL are you going to do with those?"  Instead, she said a bit quaveringly "ummmmmmmm...Sir...what do you have in mind here?  Could you let me in on it?"  By this time, tears are coming down her face and I explained to her as quickly as I could what I was going to do and what I needed her to do.  I set the tool up...applied the pressure and she pulled away, all the while screaming as blood flowed back into her little pearl. 
I quickly set the tool down and grabbed an ice cube from the bucket and put it on her clit while holding my other hand over her mouth while saying..."Shhhhhhhhh". 
The next day, she looked at me and said two things:  "That really was not the kind of sensation play I was hoping for last night, Sir".  And  "the next time, I am buying you a tie clip to do my clit with.  I KNOW that won;t get stuck".   She did...and it didn't.[&:]
I still have the nipple clamps.  She took the clit clamp as a reminder.  Now, whenever we see each other, I can't help but ask her if she wants to do some sensation play just like that "SPECIAL NIGHT".  She has never caught me yet because I usually start running while I say it.[;)]




sweetwenchie -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 4:43:55 PM)

damnnnnnnnn CD!   The visual on that has my thighs clenched together tightly!   That poor girl... [8|]




WingedSnake -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 5:12:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lighthearted

my most recent: we were playing, having a really great session actually, I was really spaced out, floaty...and then I yawned...a great big one...


In my case, it was as we met for the second time. Late at night, i was very tired due to his 105 dezibel snoring that had left me without sleep the nights before, he bound me with rope and the next thing i renember is hearing his voice: "That's what i call trust."

That was seven years ago and we are still together.




lusciouslips19 -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 5:28:29 PM)

I cant believe I am telling this one. I was meeting someone for play. We had got a room at a very fine refurbished hotel. Well first, I got my period but we talked and it didnt bother him in the least so we decided to proceed. Well he got me all dressed up in my slut outfit. Started caning me. Due to my period or where he was hitting it hurt alot. Well this lovely hotel turns out to have very paper thin walls . So every yelp or moaning got a bang from the next door neighbors on the wall. It was hard to be into it. Oh wait theres more. I didnt just have my period, It was more like a hemmorage. The dom was covered in blood and there was blood all over the pretty white duvet. Oh and security came to tell us to be quiet. every time I started to have an orgasm a bang on the wall would come.

I felt bad for housekeeping. left them a substantial tip. the room looked like a bloody crime scene.




lusciouslips19 -> RE: BDSM Bloopers (2/20/2008 5:33:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

The last time we did the "your funniest moment"... I told of my fire dude incident.  Being that we were talking about men in uniform on another thread, here is my contribution to the "oops" genre:

A long time ago in my wild and crazy youth, I was at a work convention and met up with a regular "friend".  One of the perks of being the convention organizer was that I had a suite.  In this particular hotel, most of the suites were on the first floor.  The ceilings were very very high, same height as in the ballrooms.  And my suite was very close to the front desk.  All of this will be important in a minute.

So I have handcuffed and tied my friend to the bed and we were having a good time.  Suddenly the smoke alarm in my room goes off.  Not the fire alarm that is hardwired but the smoke alarm.  So, what to do... get it to stop, or take the time to release friend from the bed.  My split-second decision was to get it to stop.  So I picked up my shoes (first thing I could grab) and stand on the bed, and try throwing them at the smoke alarm.  I threw everything I could get my hands on at the darn thing.  Friend is laughing hysterically at me standing on the bed, jumping and trying to hit the damn alarm! The ceiling was very high remember.

Then comes the knock on the door.  Oh keerap.  At this point I have the ice bucket in my hands and heave it at the ceiling.  Direct hit, the whole alarm comes down and stops blaring. WHAM the ice bucket hits the floor.  The knocking gets more persistent and I hear them calling, "HELLO?  IS ANYBODY IN THERE?  DO YOU NEED HELP?"  Thank god for security locks, because they were trying to open the door at that point.  Friend is no longer laughing but now begging me to uncuff him.  I go to the nightstand while hollering "YES I'M FINE I'LL BE RIGHT THERE".  The cuff keys are no longer on the nightstand.  They fell down between the nightstand and the bed and I can't reach them.  He is begging me to let him loose.

So I throw on a robe, tell him to SHUT UP, throw a blanket over his naked body and run out of the bedroom, slamming the door behind me, and run to the door of the suite, which they are still pounding on.  I open the door and there is the front desk manager, the maintenance guy, random guests gathered behind them (the suites opened up onto an atrium lobby), I look up into the atrium (15 or 20 stories) and see people gathered along the walkways peering over the railings, and the fire department dudes are coming thru the lobby.  Jeeeeeezus.  I try to convince them that everything is fine but the fire department wants to take a look around. 

I grab the fire department guy that looks like he is in charge and pull him aside and tell him that nothing having to do with fire was going on, but that I wasn't comfortable letting a hundred people into the bedroom because I had "company."  And he says, I swear on all that is holy.... "let me guess, you have a guy tied to your bed."  The stunned look on my face says it all. 

He turns around and tells everybody else to get out, he will handle this.  And he closes the main door into the suite. So we go to the bedroom door, and find that it is locked. How I managed to lock it when I ran out of it, I have no freakin idea.  So fire dude goes BACK out and comes back with a pokey thingy to unlock the door.  Can my embarrassment get ANY worse???

So we go in together and fire dude can't stop laughing.  Guy on the bed is NOT laughing. Fire dude drags the bed away from the wall and retrieves the cuff keys and hands them to me.  I unlock the cuffs and fire dude shakes my friend's hand and says something to the effect of "lucky dude... I don't even WANT to know if you all are usually this smokin hot". Ha ha, everyone is a comedian.  Then he takes a glance around, and he sees... shoes everywhere, ice bucket, briefcase, books, all those things I tried throwing at the smoke alarm... and he says, "no... I do NOT want to know."  Then he tells me to call them if I need anything (oy!) and "have a nice night".

He picks up the smoke alarm from the floor and he and I walk out.  He hands the smoke alarm to the maintenance dude and tells him to fix it tomorrow, we've had enough excitement for one night.  Ya think??

The next day, I got lots of looks and giggles.  I just smiled and said "I'm smokin hot, what can I say."  SIGH.

Cali


thank you for making me laugh and feel better about my hotel room story!![:D]




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