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DesFIP -> RE: does emotional attachment reduce D/s to vanilla?? (2/21/2008 11:43:57 AM)
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If you're talking D/s; then I don't get corrections for not following his rules because I now do them automatically, out of habit. That doesn't mean he's become lazier, it means that I'm following the rules which are important to him, not to others.
If he had to invent ten new rules every month just to make me happy, that would be wrong. These rules are the only ones that he cares about.
What happens when you start following and making things habitual is that you get penalized for being good. Think about it, as long as we mess up and need further training, we get all this lovely attention. We become good and we get ignored. Ouch!
What is needed here is a higher level of what I like to call random acts of dominance. You bend over to make the bed and you get a quick spank. He comes up from behind you and puts his arm around your throat dragging you back against him. You get in the car and he tweaks a nipple hard in the parking lot when nobody else is about.
Fitting three hour blocks of time to play in is hard. A one minute bit of fun is easy. Just like they say about exercise, do a ten minute walk three times a day if you can't do a half hour all at once. Fit things in when you can. But that may take a while for him to incorporate if he's never thought about play in those terms. So incite it. Bite his earlobe lightly and tell him how hot you are, how much you want a spanking. Wave a spoon in the air while cooking and and smile wickedly, murmuring you can think of better things to do with it instead of stirring spaghetti.
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