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RE: I'm real curious - 2/21/2008 1:41:36 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

LOL!!

A good friend of mine is as single mindedly dominant as it gets... still hasn't stopped guys with this so called 'ability' from telling her that she's got it all wrong, she's really a sub who just needs to sleep with them to find out...

Surely everyone knows many fellas multi-task simultaneously.  Seeing and hearing with the eyes and ears does not affect thinking with the dick - the brain is only for wishful thinking and getting that dick where it demands to go.
 
Focus.

(in reply to Alumbrado)
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RE: I'm real curious - 2/21/2008 1:50:10 AM   
tabbz


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline







The friends of mine that i've "come out" to, always guess the wrong role. They assume I would be a dominant, just because in work and in most nilla type events I'm a leader type.
[/quote]



this is exactly what i was going to say...past /current employment-how i act behave in 'nilla' world...all friends ive spoken to have pegged me as Domme too...grinnz...but im most definately not! x

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: I'm real curious - 2/21/2008 3:07:19 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		When i was younger i knew pretty much what i am and how i felt and i would go into little bouts of depression that no one knew me or understood me.

Most men would meet me, see that i have a lot of self-confidence, hold a responsible corporate postion, walk with head held high, eyes straight ahead as assume i am a Domme.  i even tried to Dom someone once because i thought everyone else must know me better than i know myself and the result was such a disaster that i stayed away from anything remotely connected to BDSM for many many years.

What exactly is a submissive supposed to look like, act like, say, do, that makes her submissive?  The Dominants i have been involved with tell me that i am actually a slave but had they viewed me from afar instead of taking time to get to know me, they may not have ever had that opinion.



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RE: I'm real curious - 2/21/2008 1:43:03 PM   
antipode


Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline 		Uhh, in your own immortal words... "sometimes"

Always good , those little caveats.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: I'm real curious - 2/21/2008 1:46:02 PM   
christine1


Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline 		one of the designers at work is definitely a dominant...i have a hard time looking him straight in the eye and i think he knows it.

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(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: I'm real curious - 2/21/2008 8:41:44 PM   
YourDomNow


Posts: 4170
Joined: 1/24/2008
From: originally TX, now PA
Status: offline 		Everyone perceives people differently through their own eyes and how the brain interprets another person, in my opinion.
While in certain places and times, its easier to visually identify a sub, Dom , Domme or whatever, but in other circumstances, less likely to pinpoint.....Ive had luck in some weird places...I work in an office with about 1000 people...came across someone in my building on this site and she had her pic on here...when i approached her about it...she really didnt have much of a clue what a sub really is...just notions and ideas without any research into it at all.......

(in reply to christine1)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: I'm real curious - 2/23/2008 12:09:23 AM   
ReynardM


Posts: 19
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline 		For those who've responded saying they think they can see something "in the eyes" or elsewhere that tips them off. I'm curious: can you define, describe, or otherwise identify what "it" is that you see?

(in reply to YourDomNow)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: I'm real curious - 2/23/2008 2:29:45 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		I've never actively tried to guess at another person's particular 'bent' - wondered, perhaps, at times, but only in passing.  When I do pick up on another person's interests [like any other interest], it usually stems from not so much how they behave as how they interact with me, and interpret certain things I say or do.



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RE: I'm real curious - 2/23/2008 10:07:08 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Even quiet Doms have a certain confidence about them.  They say what they say, and that is it.  Like a ping after they finish talking.  I don't see it in them.  I hear it.

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RE: I'm real curious - 2/23/2008 11:07:47 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I don't think I actively knew that he was a dom type. The way I probably would have put it at the time is "He's enough of an asshole to tell me what to do, but enough of a sweetheart to bring me roses". I just knew that he was someone I wanted to be with. I don't think I can explain it better than that.

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(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: I'm real curious - 2/23/2008 11:52:06 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx


What does this mean?
It sounds like she knows something we don't...
fess up, Juliet!


lol it's not some secret I know jules real life.  Damn it must be 5 or 6 years now hell maybe longer.  How time flies 

BadOne


It's 10, silly!
(oooh, I just called a D-Type "silly")
lol. It's still 10.
silly

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 2/23/2008 11:56:29 PM >

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: I'm real curious - 2/24/2008 4:18:04 AM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline 		I think most people "feel" they can tell the difference and "know" when someone's submissive, but pragmatically, I see it as just being attracted to the things you are looking for in your own ideal partner.

Unless people are willing to write off all those people at munches and events who wear the label of submissive that they AREN'T attracted to and DON'T find submissive as not being submissives, then there is no magic radar for devining the real submissives.

Because amazingly enough, all those people that I am not attracted to and don't find the least submissive have partners who beleive them to be.

So how does that work out?

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(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: I'm real curious - 2/24/2008 8:03:23 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

I am curious if there are any others out there that can determine that the person there talking to has a submissive streak or conversly could you tell if there the dom type.


I haven't met anyone from such sites either but I think I can sniff out dominance by the use of self-control within a man's typed words. A subtle use of sarcasm mixed with brilliant comments is often lacking, yet, when I find that in a conversation..I can definately sense some dominance.  The lack of, is easier to notice and is almost immediate.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: I'm real curious - 2/24/2008 4:16:24 PM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx


What does this mean?
It sounds like she knows something we don't...
fess up, Juliet!


lol it's not some secret I know jules real life.  Damn it must be 5 or 6 years now hell maybe longer.  How time flies 

BadOne


It's 10, silly!
(oooh, I just called a D-Type "silly")
lol. It's still 10.
silly

juliet


10 YEARS... damn your getting old.  Smirk

BadOne

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: I'm real curious - 2/24/2008 6:07:23 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx


What does this mean?
It sounds like she knows something we don't...
fess up, Juliet!


lol it's not some secret I know jules real life.  Damn it must be 5 or 6 years now hell maybe longer.  How time flies 

BadOne


It's 10, silly!
(oooh, I just called a D-Type "silly")
lol. It's still 10.
silly

juliet


10 YEARS... damn your getting old.  Smirk

BadOne


yup.. like fine wine well kept.

lol

juliet

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: I'm real curious - 2/24/2008 6:17:17 PM   
alwaysuna


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline 		Yes, yes, the eyes.

and as far as gaydar goes...I guess that seals my fate.  I was thinking that I am NOT bisexual, but all the lesbians I know are always saying I really am! If the theory is correct, I guess I should just embrace my sub-eyed, gaydar-ed existance

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: I'm real curious - 2/24/2008 7:55:53 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		eta:   Ooops ... I'm not a Dom .. and realized this was probably directed at Doms.

It's easier for me to tell with a Dom than with a sub.  I think it's because a lot of women I know are dominant in many aspects of their lives.   That may be more prevelant in today's society because publicly so many women work, single parent families, run their households, hold leadership positions that they tend to put their "sub life"  into hiding for their "private" lives. 

< Message edited by kallisto -- 2/24/2008 8:01:17 PM >

(in reply to alwaysuna)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: I'm real curious - 2/26/2008 1:25:12 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ReynardM

For those who've responded saying they think they can see something "in the eyes" or elsewhere that tips them off. I'm curious: can you define, describe, or otherwise identify what "it" is that you see?

I don't think I could define a particular quality beyond that they say the eyes are the windows to the soul and I'm probably seeing the "recognition" of something that attracts me greatly.  I said earlier that some women I've seen on TV have eyes that make me take notice but that "recognition" is obviously only working one way - it's a much more potent stimulus when my recognition is returned, and that's something I do get from the submissives I've met r/l as well occasional strangers who've probably never even ventured into the lifestyle.
 
Who knows, it may nothing more than chemistry through eye-contact (if that happens); that those strangers in particular aren't submissive at all.  But geeez, I sure don't get attracted to dominant qualities (starting with eyes) - quite the opposite...!
 
Focus.

(in reply to ReynardM)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: I'm real curious - 2/26/2008 1:43:40 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alwaysuna

Yes, yes, the eyes.

and as far as gaydar goes...I guess that seals my fate.  I was thinking that I am NOT bisexual, but all the lesbians I know are always saying I really am! If the theory is correct, I guess I should just embrace my sub-eyed, gaydar-ed existance

Lol, beware of people with personal agendas, such as lesbians trying to tell you what you are before you've figgered it out for yourself. 
 
I recall a male switch trying to convince a fem/sub friend of mine that she was really a Domme because of the way she readily handled and disciplined her young children etc.  It was probably just coincidence that A), she was recently separated and raising the kids alone so obviously *someone* had to take charge of them, and B), he was actively in search of a Mistress (not the vanilla variety) and my friend was at least lifestyle active though reasonably inexperienced at the time.
 
She was obviously a bit confused so I helped her out - I grabbed her hair, got right in her face and demanded of her to let that alleged inner Domme out to save her.  Demonstration was over in all of about 2 seconds, as was the notion she was dominant - other than the need to raise one's children....
 
Focus.

(in reply to alwaysuna)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: I'm real curious - 2/27/2008 6:05:48 PM   
M4STER


Posts: 29
Joined: 2/18/2008
Status: offline 		I can usually spot dominant people. It is more difficult for me to spot submissives.
 
M4STER

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 40
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