CallaFirestormBW
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Joined: 6/29/2008
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I found this quite well-written, but I'm afraid that my experiences have led me to a point where I find it not quite so cut and dried as "one choice".
In our household, a submissive individual is trained and directed, and, if we choose a long-term relationship with them, they are considered a 'servant' of the house. We don't keep slaves, and mostly that is to get around this whole discussion of 'which is -whatever-... submissive or slave'. At the same time, we have a system by which a servant isn't considered a permanent member of the household until xhe's completed a trial period -- this assures that the individual in question is a good fit. During that period, the individual is trained in the way -we- do things. I don't care if they've trained at the most exclusive slave castle in Europe -- when they're in my house, I want things -my- way... and the only way to find out what that is is to be trained to our methods. We prefer a rather tidy protocol -- formal designations of household members, language limitations, and eye-contact limitations... especially for our newcomers... we may be considerably more lenient with servants who have been with us for a while. Once they are in the household, we dont' ask them whether they want to do a certain thing each time -- as long as they're in the house, they have agreed that they accept our rule. Now.. some of these individuals would -die- before they'd let themselves be called 'slaves', and a few others crave being called 'slaves'... but in our house, they're all 'servants' -- because that is what we choose to call them.
I've found that the reality of the situation for many submissive individuals is that, whether they are called a submissive, slave, or servant, the individual in that role must rededicate hirself to the submission each and every day -- even for the person who says "I give my life to you for ever and always', and who abdicates every aspect of living outside of what the dominant allows, that individual must -still- get up every morning, and -choose- to abide by the rules and structure of hir life. Even for those who say "I do this because it is what I -chose- to do.", they must still, on some level, choose each day to have that as their way of life. That's true for anyone, in any position. I have a job outside the home -- I earned it, and I've worked for it... but if I woke up every morning and said "Oh, I don't feel like going to work today.", but my boss still called me her employee, do you think anyone would care that she called me her employee -- heck no.. I'd be fired for failure to meet the obligations of my job... and I would have chosen that path by just choosing not to do the work. What I was called would be irrelevant.
Even during the times of actual slavery, that was the case. You could be sold, and being sold made you a slave, but being sold did not necessarily mean that you would obey your owner. Beatings did not necessarily mean that you would obey your owner. Sometimes, the slave would use sneaky, underhanded tricks like stealing the silver to get back at a hated owner -- and once again we see the passive-aggressive demeanor that happens when a slave is unhappy or unable to come to terms with hir submission.
If every day is a choice for the slave, and also a choice for the submissive, then what is it that differentiates one from the other -- The only thing that differentiates them is what one dominant individual chooses to call hir submissive colleague -- it is a matter of title only... everything else is internal, and can exist just as deeply or just as loosely (including choice) in the slave and in the submissive.
Firestorm
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Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"
"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer
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RE: Are you a slave or are you a submissive? - 
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