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RE: Commands - 9/18/2005 3:40:36 PM

nella

Posts: 1243
Joined: 12/30/2004
From: Norway
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This seam to me a strange situation. If my Dom gave me a conflicting order i would ask. But Master you said such and such, if he still tells me to get it or do the things i would say i have acted right. Though inpossible orders that must leas to play punishment can be fun in playtime, for everyday life, for me at least it do not work, can work for somone but for me it would not work. I prefer the more steight at it aprotch, nella i want to spank you bend over! in stead of such games.

Though in a Master/slave relationshp, and in many Dom/sub relationship the Dom might have the right to do it, in my mind it would be counter productive, but what do i know.

(in reply to KatyLied)

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RE: Commands - 9/21/2005 11:06:16 AM

firefighteremt

Posts: 24
Joined: 7/5/2005
From: Buffalo NY (AREA)
Status: offline

COUNTER PRODUCTIVE

The last thing I want to do is send mixed signals. I need her to know what I want. How to do what I want ect... If she is confused about any of that Im not getting all that I could from her

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RE: Commands - 9/21/2005 12:38:12 PM

Sartoris32801

Posts: 172
Joined: 7/19/2005
Status: offline

Anais Nin quotes somehow seem perferable to this thread!

Adding :

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Sartoris

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 23

RE: Commands - 9/21/2005 2:25:09 PM

girl4you2

Posts: 1622
Joined: 8/4/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

First off, I don't believe in "punishment." If a submissive displeases me, I tell her what she has done and that it has displeased me...sort of thing seems to me to be the perfect way to break the bond of trust that binds a dominant and submissive. In short, a very bad idea

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane

Only in my shizoprhenic state have I ever been so hypocritical, but the meds have been working and my sub is much less confused these days.

In a word, "No"

Kevin

to add to these, i'd also clarify by asking if i was to do something that was opposite to what i'd been led to understand i was to do. if i was then told i'd "displeased" by so doing, i'd be not only confused as all heck, after all was said and done, i'd be thoroughly rethinking the entire dynamics of someone who would deliberately put someone in such a situation.

if a dominant wants to do a particular thing, that's his perogative, but by adding in contradiction and putting a chasm in the trust bond, it's seriously unwise. just an opinion.

(in reply to fastlane)

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RE: Commands - 9/21/2005 3:39:05 PM

Mylee

Posts: 217
Joined: 6/19/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

First off, I don't believe in "punishment." If a submissive displeases me, I tell her what she has done and that it has displeased me. If it happens again, I will re-evaluate the relationship.

That said, this sort of thing seems to me to be the perfect way to break the bond of trust that binds a dominant and submissive. In short, a very bad idea

Very well said, mostly the one i am with saves 'punishments' for play as i enjoy them, what he does to is tell me he is displeased and that in itself is enough to make my heart drop and want to do wanything in my power and beyond to please Him

To make a rule and then order a submissive is counter producitve Dom4U...your going agianst your own training,it doesnt build trust,it would break it and confuse the submissive...

Not only that, lets take it a step farther, you order her to break a rule, suddenly your rules may not be as important in her mind anymore, after all it was YOu who asked her to break it,so if she's feeling a bt impish she may think to herself "well master just had me break this rule last week, so if the rules mean shit to him, then im breaking thisrule too'

not only that but why would you want to set your own submissive up for failure? for a lot of subs, self esteem comes from serving to our best ability...why would you want to tear her down, ....im sorry and hate to sound extream but that hits me as a tiny bit mentaly abusive...and i hate to use the abuse word...

my'lee

< Message edited by Mylee -- 9/21/2005 6:30:48 PM >

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RE: Commands - 9/21/2005 5:08:34 PM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
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No.

First, why would I deliberately do something that is going to confuse her and make it harder for her to know how to please me? That's not only difficult for her, its counter productive to what I want.

Second, why do you want an excuse to punish her? By punish do you mean you want an excuse to be cruel just cause you feel like it? Or by punish do you mean you want an excuse to spank, flog, etc.? In either case you don't need an excuse... not very domly to have to look for an excuse if you ask me. If you happen to the be sadistic type that likes to be cruel for its own sake, then be up front about that and choose someone to whom that appeals... then be cruel whenever you feel like, no excuses, no dishonesty. If its just wanting to spank or whatever for fun, as play... then go play... again, no excuses necessary.

Using myself as an example, I enjoy spanking, with me its done for play. I do it whenever I feel like, no excuses necessary. But since its something I do as play I keep it exclusively as a form of play to avoid confusion. With me spanking is never done as punishment. "Brats" who like to be "bad" as a way of getting attention / played with don't do well with me, since I respond to bad behavior with genuine punishments, not play. That's just part of knowing myself, my desires, and knowing that some personality types don't mesh well with me.

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A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Dom4UA)

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Post #: 26

RE: Commands - 9/21/2005 6:11:24 PM

RainGod

Posts: 230
Joined: 7/11/2005
From: Hendersonville, NC
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dom4UA

Have you ever ordered a slave to do something that you have in the past told her that if she performed this particular command she would be punished?
In other words,have you commanded them to do something just to be able to punish them?

... I am not sure I get it... you're asking if We've ever commanded a slave to do something, and then punished her after she did exactly what we told her to do?

If that's the question, wtf kind of bonehead would be such a hypocritical asshole? That's just some mind-fucking abuse... totally uncool.

If it matter any... I simply hate to punish a girl. I don't do it for fun. I do love to spank, and for that I do not need her to do anything wrong.... I would just tell her she is about to be spanked.

(in reply to Dom4UA)

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Post #: 27

RE: Commands - 9/22/2005 12:00:21 AM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

First off, I don't believe in "punishment." If a submissive displeases me, I tell her what she has done and that it has displeased me. If it happens again, I will re-evaluate the relationship.

This sounds much harsher than any punishment to me.
You are tough JohnWarren, can't call you unreasonable though.

M

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(in reply to JohnWarren)

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Post #: 28

RE: Commands - 9/22/2005 12:47:23 AM

NewlyBruised

Posts: 22
Joined: 9/20/2005
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Wow, I would like to thank all of Y/you for that incredibly lovely read - and yes, the analogy of the ice cream was wonderful!!!

My Master does punish me, but... it is a learning experience for me. I tend to be a little smart mouthed, and while He appreciates this quality in me, He feels I need to learn more tact with it.

So, telling someone mixed commands? Sorry buddy, but I like the idea of you cleaning bed pans for Ancient Gorian Masters or whatever the proposition was!!!

Teasing someone and making it a game - sure, why not!

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)

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Post #: 29