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Surprises? - 2/21/2008 10:27:40 AM

Twice

Posts: 179
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Gainesville, Florida
Status: offline

So, on a stroke of good luck, I acquired some free lingerie. We've never been able to afford it before, so this is a kinda big deal, so I've been wanting to surprise the Dom-fiance with it... you know, He comes home from work, I'm blindfolded in bed wearing it, that type of thing. Well, I never could keep my mouth shut when I'm excited about something, so I told Him I have a surprise for Him. Since then, He's been bothering me to tell what it is. But I don't want to! For HIS sake! I want Him to be really pleasantly surprised. But, by the same token, I feel as if I am disobeying Him. Even though it's FOR Him. I don't know. I'm confused.

Would you tell your Dom(me) if you had a big surprise waiting? I'm thinking of the surprise as a service TO Him which is is inadvertantly trying to ruin. On the other hand, He doesn't want to wait... but I haven't gotten it in the mail yet!

If you ARE a Dominant and are reading this, would you be angry with your sub for keeping it from you, even if you ask? Or would you appreciate the effort and surprise later?

_____________________________

-K

Post #: 1

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 10:33:34 AM

xxblushesxx

Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline

I am TERRIBLE at surprises, and want to tell everything I know.
I would try very hard to keep it a secret though, and, I really doubt he'll be mad at you, btw.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com

(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 2

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 10:37:49 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

You need to ask him- do you want to be surprised or do you want me to tell you?

I've told my partner I'm ok with surprises of some sorts and not ok with surprises of other sorts.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 3

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 10:37:56 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

I'm sneaky, I can have a suprise and not give a hint of it until I am ready.

But if I had let the cat out of the bag and he was asking for more details, I'd tell him that I'd have more fun if I unveiled the suprise when it was time, if he'd allow.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

Post #: 4

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 10:39:22 AM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

i would keep it a secret, i adore surprising people i care about. Surprises are fun, and i find it hard to believe he would get mad over a fun surprise such as the one you have in store for him.

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 5

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 10:40:42 AM

Twice

Posts: 179
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Gainesville, Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I've told my partner I'm ok with surprises of some sorts and not ok with surprises of other sorts.

Yeah, that's definitely true. For instance, I'm taking Him on a short trip for His birthday (no details, He does OCCASIONALLY read this, but not often... I'd be disappointed if He read about this surprise, but DEVASTATED if He read about His birthday present), and I already told him that much, and will give Him the dates when I have them certain, because, hey, you don't take someone out of town without them knowing....

_____________________________

-K

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 6

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 10:46:33 AM

SirMIkeSD

Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline

I would appreciate the surprize if I did not know something was coming. If I knew something was coming and I asked about it, my boys better damn sight tell me. To me it's know ruining the surprize since I knew something was coming it was already blow.

Mike

(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 7

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 10:56:22 AM

colouredin

Posts: 4279
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline

Yeah Id say as most of the others said, I am rubbish at suprises I always let something slip and then you worry about whether the suprise will be a disapointment if they build it up in their head. Just say id rather keep it a surpise if you dont mind and then dont wait too long to do it so he wont be building it up in his mind :D make like a big deal of the evening with candles and such like. Though the suprise is for them there is something so wonderful about watching someones face when you have made a spontanious effort for them that they didnt ask for.

_____________________________

Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)

Post #: 8

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 10:58:06 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirMIkeSD

I would appreciate the surprize if I did not know something was coming. If I knew something was coming and I asked about it, my boys better damn sight tell me. To me it's know ruining the surprize since I knew something was coming it was already blow.

Mike

I'd suspect that m'Lord would still find a fun and sadistic way to make use of the non-surprise, and I'd tell him if he didn't allow me to keep it secret.

_____________________________

Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. Sydney J. Harris

Sex without pain is like food without taste.
- de Sade

(in reply to SirMIkeSD)

Post #: 9

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 11:02:36 AM

littleone35

Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

When i have a surprise for my Master i tell him about it, if he asks what it is i always say Master if i tell you then it will not be a surprise. I can't keep the fact that i have a surprise secret but i can keep mum about what it is. Unless of course he orders me to tell him, but he has not done that.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to OmegaG)

Post #: 10

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 11:09:03 AM

Twice

Posts: 179
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Gainesville, Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Just say id rather keep it a surpise if you dont mind and then dont wait too long to do it so he wont be building it up in his mind :D

Yeah. that's the plan... just haven't gotten it in the mail yet.

_____________________________

-K

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 11

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 11:40:22 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twice

Would you tell your Dom(me) if you had a big surprise waiting?

days before Valentine's Day, i told Daddy i have a surprise for Him via FedEx. yes, he was intrigue as to what the surprise was but didn't ask what it was. yes He was very surprised after seeing the rare vinyl jazz albums to add to His collection

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 12

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 11:47:42 AM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

I can't do surprises if I have it on hand. I never wait until Christmas to give Christmas presents, or until Birthdays to give Birthday presents. I want to see the look on the person's face as soon as I can.

That being said, my Owner is a tad better about that, and she plotted with my family to arrange a surprise visit on Christmas. Up until she walked through the door, I didn't think we'd get to see each other due to conflicting schedules on the holidays.

It was easily the best present ever. It's not lying or disobedience if it's for a good cause.

DV's Fox

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 11:57:16 AM

Cuffkinks

Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twice

If you ARE a Dominant and are reading this, would you be angry with your sub for keeping it from you, even if you ask? Or would you appreciate the effort and surprise later?

If she told Me that she had a suprise for Me and she wished to keep it a suprise, I wouldn't make her tell Me what it is, and I certainly wouldn't be angry with her. After all, she's doing this for Me. If she put any amount of effort into something to please Me...IMO it would be wrong and/or mean to make her tell Me.
Twice, you should reason with him and explain that you wish to keep it a suprise. Hopefully, he'll understand. And when he arrives home that day and finds you blindfolded, wearing your new lingerie...he'll be glad he didn't make you tell him.
My only concern right now is that you mentioned what the suprise was in your opening post and you also said he does read the boards, though not often. I hope the suprise isn't already out.

_____________________________

Resident "11"

"I love you, Sir. You make my heart sing and my panties wet. What more could a girl ask for?" - hejira92

"And that's why it's good to be...Me." - Gene $immons

(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 14

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 12:07:29 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twice

So, on a stroke of good luck, I acquired some free lingerie. We've never been able to afford it before, so this is a kinda big deal, so I've been wanting to surprise the Dom-fiance with it... you know, He comes home from work, I'm blindfolded in bed wearing it, that type of thing. Well, I never could keep my mouth shut when I'm excited about something, so I told Him I have a surprise for Him. Since then, He's been bothering me to tell what it is. But I don't want to! For HIS sake! I want Him to be really pleasantly surprised. But, by the same token, I feel as if I am disobeying Him. Even though it's FOR Him. I don't know. I'm confused.

Would you tell your Dom(me) if you had a big surprise waiting? I'm thinking of the surprise as a service TO Him which is is inadvertantly trying to ruin. On the other hand, He doesn't want to wait... but I haven't gotten it in the mail yet!

If you ARE a Dominant and are reading this, would you be angry with your sub for keeping it from you, even if you ask? Or would you appreciate the effort and surprise later?

NO!...don't tell him.....STICK to your guns...He will LOVE you for it! I know my Master would

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 15

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 12:38:49 PM

Twice

Posts: 179
Joined: 9/15/2005
From: Gainesville, Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cuffkinks
My only concern right now is that you mentioned what the suprise was in your opening post and you also said he does read the boards, though not often. I hope the suprise isn't already out.

I thought about that, but was very torn so I asked for advice. He hasn't been on here in forever, AND He knows I have a surprise for Him... the topic isn't exactly cryptic. If He chooses to click it, I'll be sad, but He will have ruined it for Himself, you know?

_____________________________

-K

(in reply to Cuffkinks)

Post #: 16

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 1:31:25 PM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

i agree with LA...just ask him, does he want to be surprised or does he want full disclosure. if he is pestering you to tell him, then that sounds to me like he just wants to know. surprises are not something that is appreciated in every D/s relationship, it depends on the dynamic the two of you have. i had to learn the hard way that surprising my Master, no matter how lovely i thought the surprise would be, is not something that is appreciated or permitted, because it involves me having control over a situation and also being presumptious (assuming he would like a particular thing at a particular time). so that sort of thing is forbidden in this house. if i have an idea that i think he may like, i just go to him, share it with him and he will decide on whether or not it will be done. but it is not my place to make such decisions on my own.

(in reply to Twice)

Post #: 17

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 1:49:54 PM

kallisto

Posts: 1185
Status: offline

I love giving surprises ... that's the fun in it. It's a surprise. Something that He wouldn't be expecting. Knowing that He will enjoy it makes it even better to keep it a surprise.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 18

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 2:08:02 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kallisto
I love giving surprises ... that's the fun in it. It's a surprise. Something that He wouldn't be expecting. Knowing that He will enjoy it makes it even better to keep it a surprise.

Prop's point was that your "knowing" is actually a presumption. And YOU love it and YOU love the fun in it. Her master does not find it fun for various reasons and that's ultimately more important in their relationship.

I'd be very upset with my partner if he surprised me with some things, no matter how correct he is in presuming I'd love it, or how much pleasure he got out of preparing a surprise for me. He's also learned that he shouldn't expect a particular reaction from something right away- it might take me days or months to fully appreciate what he's given and if he puts all his eggs into that first reaction, he's going to get his feelings hurt.

Which is why I said initially- ask him.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to kallisto)

Post #: 19

RE: Surprises? - 2/21/2008 2:17:06 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

I LOVE surprises, giving and getting.

One caveat...I HATE having to participate in my own surprise. In other words, saying "I have a surprise for you tonight!" just pisses me off, because I'll have to think about what it is and prepare a 'surprised' reaction.

Worse yet is the 'participatory surprise'. For example... "I'm planning a surprise party for you, what do you want to eat and who would you like to invite?" Gee- how about inviting all my enemies over for cake, while I'll go to my favorite pizza place happily knowing none of them will be there?

I see disclosure as self serving oo the giver whose insecurity in how the surprise will be 'valued' comes into play by the announcement.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 20

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