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RE: Credibility - 2/22/2008 10:51:52 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

quote:

ORIGINAL: camille65

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

I think this question applies to real life activities where you meet people like us or online--do you place credibility in someone who does not have a "partner"--i.e, a Dom or Domina who espouses the life--but for some reason does not have a submissive?

Well sure I do. Just as I consider anyone without a partner/s-type/d-type to be credible. Why wouldn't I?Some folks love being single or unattached, some are looking still. Some are fresh out of a relationship.Maybe I'm not understanding the question?

You definitely have a grasp of the question, in the world out there, we think nothing of single people, but within the WIITWD, do we tend to be harsher on someone who espouses, speaks to, provides thoughts, ideas etc, participates that is single? Do we not wonder more why? Do we question more how they could offer any insight when they are alone?

I'm a little clueless how that could really matter personally. I suppose if the person had always been alone and had never participated in any relationship with bdsm and/or d/s it might, but even then, their opinions, questions, comments about how they feel about the lifestyle and themselves have merit. They are afterall offering THEIR opinion and each of us is the expert of our opinions aren't we?

Why does one person's viewpoint ever have to be better than another's period? (this is what you are suggesting by the way). Everyone is entitled to their opinion and being single really isn't any indication of anything. I'm currently single. I've been involved in the lifestyle for a decade including ltrs. I chose not to enter into a serious relationship in my life right now because it's what's best for me. Does that make me less credible or more?

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 2/22/2008 10:55:04 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 61

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 12:01:58 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

I think this question applies to real life activities where you meet people like us or online--do you place credibility in someone who does not have a "partner"--i.e, a Dom or Domina who espouses the life--but for some reason does not have a submissive?

I do not give much credence to anyone that I do not know personally one way or another. If I was going to be so myopic as to not give "credibility" to a person because they were not involved in a relationship I would never have found my Daddy because he wasn't involved when I met him....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 62

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 12:10:08 AM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

~FR~ to nobody in particular

jftr..

don't believe anything I say.. I'm full of shit.. LOL

*snickers*

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polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 63

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 2:34:12 AM

Paulsgirl

Posts: 249
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

thought of the morning.....how does one 'prove' one's credibility as a submissive? )based on the premise that it is possible to show cerdibility as a dom(me).....you know equipment, skill, control o a scene.....

_____________________________

Formerly Prinsexx

~There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.~
Anais Nin

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 64

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 4:34:30 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petpete

Dear LadyH : Why does the fact that someone may have no partners have to do with his credibility??? If anything people that are more carful of entering relationships should be regarded as more stable and self secured thus trusted more then the ones who jump from relationship to relationship like butterflies and find out they frequently get hurt thus emotionally and psychologically down and depressed, unless ofcourse they are players and act out of sex drive alone.

Yes. Hence my question what does that have to do with the price of tea in china? There are any number of reasons why their not currently in a relationship. ie commited to the nuthouse, jail, death, moved, or things just didn't work out. To say that someone somehow got "stupidier" cuz they currently don't have a S.O. is quite frankly not someone I want to be around! Cuz it's obvious they think having a S.O. no matter how fucked up the relationship is better than no relationship at all.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 2/23/2008 4:51:57 AM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 65

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 4:58:40 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Paulsgirl

thought of the morning.....how does one 'prove' one's credibility as a submissive? )based on the premise that it is possible to show cerdibility as a dom(me).....you know equipment, skill, control o a scene.....

only your Dom(me) has to know it..Who cares about the others. You don't need to proof yourself to the whole world.

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Paulsgirl)

Post #: 66

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 5:31:00 AM

MissLily

Posts: 146
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

Well, I'm a singleton and have been for years I'm afraid... I hope this doesn,t take the Domina out of Me!!!!

It's hard enough to find a partner in the vanilla world, in this one, it sometimes seem harder. I have a few subs, but nothing for long term at the moment I'm afraid...

I can see that people could wonder about the reasons behind the singletoness, but so many reasons can justify it that competance as a sub or Dominant is just not good enough I think. Too drastic.

Miss Lily

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 67

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 6:34:26 AM

hardbodysub

Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

I think this question applies to real life activities where you meet people like us or online--do you place credibility in someone who does not have a "partner"--i.e, a Dom or Domina who espouses the life--but for some reason does not have a submissive?

Why would you view this differently from people seeking a vanilla partner? It's a pretty damn big Catch-22 if you look at it that way. If someone has a partner, they're credible, but not available. If they don't have a partner, they're available but not credible. Ridiculous.

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 68

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 6:44:08 AM

Padriag

Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

I think this question applies to real life activities where you meet people like us or online--do you place credibility in someone who does not have a "partner"--i.e, a Dom or Domina who espouses the life--but for some reason does not have a submissive?

No, I don't think I do. Generally, when I first meet someone I tend to take them at face value, but don't assign any particular credibility to them. That credibility comes later when I see that their actions match their claims.

For example, I meet someone online claiming to be an attractive female slave. I'll accept that at face value for the moment and react to them accordingly. However, I'm also watching to see if her behavior, her actions, and other factors match her claim. Does she behave like I expect a slave to behave? Does her actions match what I expect of a slave? Does she have a web cam or additional photos of herself (and do those photos look like something taken at home or a bunch of professional pics)? Is she willing to meet for coffee? And so forth.

If I meet someone in person who claims to be a dominant man, again, I accept that claim at face value... but I'm also watching. Is his behavior that of what I expect of a dominant male? Does his actions match what I expect of a dominant male? When his wife/submissive/SO shows up, is he still dominant or does he defer to her? Does he seem to have control over himself, over his own life? And so forth.

There's a flaw with my system... expectations. I judge others based on my own expectations, which in turn are based on my own life experiences. That's pretty much true for all of us. The flaw occurs because what that female slave considers appropriate behavior for a slave may not be what I expect because we don't share a common definition. Same problem for that dominant, he might have different beliefs about dominants and their behavior than I do. But then again that tends to work out in a way... if that slave had different expectations about being a slave than I do, then we probably wouldn't get along... same thing with said dominant. We tend to be drawn to friends, partners and people who are like ourselves and tend to view those who are different as "others". We give credibility and respect to those who most match what we expect. Respect and expect are two closely related words.

So... I give credibility to those who best match up to my expectations... its a flawed system, but then what system isn't?

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to LadyHathor)

Post #: 69

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 7:00:31 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Dunno, I have lots of girls tell me there great in bed. Ya know the old fuck of the century. Only to discover it's not true. Their cred goes right out the door as I close it on them.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Padriag)

Post #: 70

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 9:04:04 AM

LadyIce

Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

IF they think I am beautiful and sexy, they're credible.

If not, they are fakes!

< Message edited by LadyIce -- 2/23/2008 9:05:13 AM >

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 71

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 9:51:25 AM

Sundowner

Posts: 2549
Joined: 3/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

GT

jftr..

don't believe anything I say.. I'm full of shit.. LOL

rofl

If it were anyone else but you, I wouldn't believe them!

< Message edited by Sundowner -- 2/23/2008 9:53:36 AM >

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Post #: 72

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 3:00:14 PM

WontSpareTheRod

Posts: 20
Joined: 2/13/2008
Status: offline

You also wan't to consider what credibility are you looking for in them, i imagine there are a fair few subs who are currently looking for a Dom/me and i imagine allot of those don't want to be involved in a Poly relationship, at wich point as a sub that person would have no credibility, (as a potential Dom/me). What about potential as a possible friend. The only place i could see this working is if you were looking for credibility in a Mentor, for example if somone dom switch or sub wanted to learn from a Mentore figure then somone who is already in a relationship would probably gain credibility. Personaly id rather somone just respect me as a fellow person, then let them decide however credible they want think i am :)

_____________________________

Don't let a fight spoil a good argument

(in reply to Sundowner)

Post #: 73

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 4:33:10 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyIce

IF they think I am beautiful and sexy, they're credible.

If not, they are fakes!

Of course you are babeeeee ... I perved yer picts Great ASS.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to LadyIce)

Post #: 74

RE: Credibility - 2/23/2008 5:58:32 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

Hey SailingBum!! It looks like Aiolous the god of the winds has really let his sacks open for You.. Hope your well Popey!!

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to SailingBum)

Post #: 75

RE: Credibility - 2/26/2008 11:56:25 AM

CreativeDominant

Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline

Credibility...am I a credible source for health knowledge? Sure, but there are areas in which I am more credible than others. I've been a chiropractic doctor for 25 years, with additional certification in orthopedics so I'm pretty damn credible if you ask me about traumatic joint injuries or chronic joint problems and I am fairly credible with most health questions. But I would not rely on me for answers about brain surgery.
Credibility is determined by various factors. The fact that someone is not in a relationship does not mean that they are not credible in matters pertaining to relationships in and of itself. Now, are they out of their 8th marriage because they beat their husband up once more? Well then, asking that person for answers on how to choose a partner or how to treat a partner is fine but you might want to weigh their answers fairly carefully. Are they not in a relationship because they are trying to build one? Are they not in a relationship because circumstances prevent it right now? Are they not in a relationship because right now, they don't want to be? That does not stop their credibility. As someone else on here noted, credibility is often determined by how well their answer fits what you want, what you need, what you seek, what you already think, how much sense their answer makes.

I was involved with my ex-wife for 20 years. I've been involved in 3 long-term D/s relationships. I have had several casual D/s relationships and a few D/s BDSM encounters. Some have been really good. A couple have been disillusioning. Does the fact that I do not have a submissive right now make me a lousy source when it comes to ideas about D/s? I don't think so. Others might. It has been noted that the number of answers that some have on here would indicate that they live on here. I don't agree with that. A person can have coffee in the morning and answer a couple, then have their noon meal and answer a couple and so put out 4-5 answers in a day. Throw in a couple of silly one-line replies and then you have 7-8 answers in a day. At the end of a week, you could have 40 answers on here and yet, still work your 9-10 hours and live your life with family and friends. # of answers on here or lack of answers on here does not indicate credibility any more than it indicates a lack of credibility. Credibility is a combination of educated knowledge and experience and the ability to take what you have learned and experienced and process them into realistic answers.

(in reply to petpete)

Post #: 76

RE: Credibility - 2/26/2008 1:04:04 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Paulsgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

My answer really depends on the situation of the individual. I don't necessarily base My thoughts of credibility to whether or not someone is currently single. What I will look at is if that person has always been single. (By single, I'm meaning that to say no long term relationships.) Even though a person isn't connected to another at the particular time, they may have prior life experiences, long term partners, etc., which make a difference to Me. If they've had the actual experiences, I'm more apt to listen when they speak.

On the other hand, if it's a person who's never really walked down certain paths, I take what they say with a grain of salt until they've walked in those shoes. Very much the same as people who have never had UM's of their own (or raised someone else's) who want to give partenting advice.

Edited for a typo.

and yet we let teachers teach our UM's who are both relatively young, have no kids of their own and little teaching experience...just a thought in passing.....

Yes, but notice that I didn't especially say that was a good idea, either.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Paulsgirl)

Post #: 77

RE: Credibility - 2/26/2008 1:57:25 PM

BlackPhx

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Joined: 11/8/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

I've been a chiropractic doctor for 25 years, with additional certification in orthopedics so I'm pretty damn credible if you ask me about traumatic joint injuries or chronic joint problems and I am fairly credible with most health questions.

Oddly enough I have always thought of the Rack as an early chiropractic table...It really loosens the joints.

poenkitten (who hopes Master builds one soon)

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 78

RE: Credibility - 2/26/2008 2:20:31 PM

petpete

Posts: 677
Joined: 7/6/2007
Status: offline

CD has summed up almost all the answers in the best way they could be put. There are also people who wish to know more about themselves and eager to participate in conversations more then anything else. So most of there spare time is dedicated to the boards. i also feel that after all these years of vanilla life i get to talk with people that i can relate with as to understand me and i understand them without being thought that i am an alien. So i find myself more on this site now at the expense of my vanilla friends. Credibility is determined by how true a person is with he portraying himself to another. Of wether he truly is what he claims or has the ability to deliver the goods. How one can be in times of crisis and if he or she can be counted on there loyalty.

_____________________________

Chief: Max, you realize you'll be facing every kind of danger imaginable.
Max: And loving it!

(in reply to BlackPhx)

Post #: 79

RE: Credibility - 2/26/2008 2:26:17 PM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

Credibility...am I a credible source for health knowledge? Sure, but there are areas in which I am more credible than others. I've been a chiropractic doctor for 25 years, with additional certification in orthopedics so I'm pretty damn credible if you ask me about traumatic joint injuries or chronic joint problems and I am fairly credible with most health questions. But I would not rely on me for answers about brain surgery.

as example I want to add that even though I believe you...we can't even be sure about your credibility of beeing good in orthopedics..unless we really know you.
So for me the credibility in the orthopedics issue is as big as the brainsurgery....

(just an example how credibility works...not a personal issue of anykind...)

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

Post #: 80

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