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Why - 2/22/2008 8:45:53 PM   
ThornTheEternal


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/3/2007
Status: offline


Why is it so difficult to find that one sub/slave that you look for?


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RE: Why - 2/22/2008 8:50:25 PM   
Lumus


Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline 		Because good things don't come to fruition without effort...?



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<Talk to educate; listen to learn.>

~ the other half of "L&L" ~

I have been dubbed the Rainmaker. Do not make me take your water for my tribe.

(in reply to ThornTheEternal)
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RE: Why - 2/22/2008 8:51:57 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Figure out why it takes the "vanillas" to find their perfect match.

It's the same reason.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ThornTheEternal)
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RE: Why - 2/22/2008 9:00:29 PM   
ThornTheEternal


Posts: 12
Joined: 12/3/2007
Status: offline


Yeah I know but you would think after three years something but anyways.



(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Why - 2/22/2008 9:02:43 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I wouldn't. That's not really a long amount of time. It took that long for just Valyraen and I to be single at the same time to give things a shot.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to ThornTheEternal)
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RE: Why - 2/22/2008 9:05:00 PM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		quit looking... that is what I did when I found my wife. go out to the socials etc, talk mingle have fun, but dont carry expectations.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Why - 2/22/2008 9:10:11 PM   
Rushemery


Posts: 310
Joined: 9/10/2007
Status: offline 		Good things come to people who wait but also if you let fruit set too long you get fruit flys so your guess is as good as mine

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Why - 2/22/2008 9:31:19 PM   
SilentTigresss


Posts: 261
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		Better being alone than poorly accompanied

(in reply to Rushemery)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Why - 2/22/2008 9:43:27 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThornTheEternal

Why is it so difficult to find that one sub/slave that you look for?




When I'm looking I'm careful not to look "for that one." 

So I'll disagree with those who say don't look, at least partly. I'll say look, but just look around, don't look for.

I'm blessed to know some pretty amazing people whom I met here, for instance. None of them were "what I was looking for"(largely but not solely because I gave up on that kind of looking a while ago.) Each one of these people, as I look back on it, turned out to fit my life in ways I hadn't anticipated; brought beauties I hadn't known to look for.

They did this partly by having traits I wouldn't have known to put on my "look for" list. They did it partly by having traits I might have put on my "avoid" list, for that matter.

This is why I shudder a little when I read or hear someone saying "I know exactly what I'm looking for." Not you, Thorn, but others.  If a person never steps outside, can he really appreciate how far from the sky his little ceiling may be?

For instance, I married one of those people I was quite specifically not looking for. She's more delicious and scrumptious than any pastry I could have conjured up. Think how glad I am that I didn't shoulder past her in a search for ...  something I had decided to search for.

Look for fun, for experience, for growth and learning, etc. Reach but don't grasp might be another way to say it. I dunno. Be a decent guy and a good friend and you might get invited to test-drive some top-shelf partners between now and when yours materializes, if you're into that.

With a little luck, Thorn, the universe will commit a random act of senseless beauty on your ass. Try not to be too distracted by the one your're looking for. As for the time it takes, a decent relationship can take years to build, but a miracle can happen in the wink of an eye.

(in reply to ThornTheEternal)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Why - 2/22/2008 10:12:13 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		I took a perv at your profile. I'm going to resist the urge to point out that you are quite young and have a lot of time to search. [smile]

But, the first part of your profile says you'll be away for some time and not picking up emails. There is an update, but it's quite a ways down. Perhaps a first look at your profile discourages potential subs from delving deeper. Might I suggest editing the essay rather than just adding to the bottom?

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels


(in reply to Noah)
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RE: Why - 2/22/2008 10:21:52 PM   
silvermuse


Posts: 259
Joined: 6/8/2007
Status: offline 		Thorn, it took my Master almost 12 years..

muse

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There is darkness and there is evil, never mistake the two.

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RE: Why - 2/23/2008 3:01:00 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThornTheEternal




Yeah I know but you would think after three years something but anyways.





Life is a journey, not a destination.  While it took me 40 years to find the one.  That is not to say I didn't enjoi each and every person along the way.  And no I never whined.  Why can't I find the one. I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for BUT I will know it when I find it.  I may have been looking in the wrong places.  I met my girl playing volleyball... go figure.



_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to ThornTheEternal)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Why - 2/23/2008 3:30:13 AM   
PinkDice


Posts: 17
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		I, too, feel the emptiness in not having a partner to share myself with. What works for me is to take that angst and direct it towards expanding and exploring my interests rather than focusing on the "poor me, I'm all alone" and waiting for the universe to drop that special someone into my lap.

In vanilla interactions finding that special someone to compliment you is a common problem. The more you add specific interests and needs, the more difficult it becomes (and for the most part the more rewarding in the end).

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Why - 2/23/2008 4:20:06 AM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		There are many who assume that there is one out there waiting for you to find them. I don't believe there has to be the one. I don't believe in predestination. I'm more a believer in the chaos theory. So the idea that this is a journey is much more descriptive.
I have good friends who say you must make a choice .. hold out for the rare chance of meeting your soulmate, or being realistic and finding someone compatable whom you can learn to love. That is a choice each must make. That is a decision I struggle with each day.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Why - 2/23/2008 4:40:10 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThornTheEternal




Yeah I know but you would think after three years something but anyways.





Life is a journey, not a destination.  While it took me 40 years to find the one.  That is not to say I didn't enjoi each and every person along the way.  And no I never whined.  Why can't I find the one. I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for BUT I will know it when I find it.  I may have been looking in the wrong places.  I met my girl playing volleyball... go figure.


This is great advice!  Sometimes people are so intent on the destination that they forget to enjoy the journey and the scenery along the way.  Also, sometimes people want everything to be perfect before acting.  Things will never be 'perfect' so why not act anyway?  Why not experience all there is to experience? 

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Why - 2/23/2008 4:58:31 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThornTheEternal




Yeah I know but you would think after three years something but anyways.





Life is a journey, not a destination.  While it took me 40 years to find the one.  That is not to say I didn't enjoi each and every person along the way.  And no I never whined.  Why can't I find the one. I wasn't quite sure what I was looking for BUT I will know it when I find it.  I may have been looking in the wrong places.  I met my girl playing volleyball... go figure.


This is great advice!  Sometimes people are so intent on the destination that they forget to enjoy the journey and the scenery along the way.  Also, sometimes people want everything to be perfect before acting.  Things will never be 'perfect' so why not act anyway?  Why not experience all there is to experience? 


Thanks for the props.  Your statement bears repeating.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Why - 2/23/2008 5:00:42 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phin

quit looking... that is what I did when I found my wife. go out to the socials etc, talk mingle have fun, but dont carry expectations.


same here..always when iIgive up "forcefully" looking and start to relax (read; beeing myself)  I find the right one.


_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Why - 2/23/2008 5:08:11 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		SailingBum,
i have been criticized for having partners for whom i felt no more emotion than fondness, for finding joy in serving without 'love' for being open to experience without committment.  But for me, all these things helped me to grow, to know myself better and to know my Master when He found me.  i had made the decision to enjoy the adventure that is life, to discover the paths not well worn, to not be afraid to throw the compass away, confident that eventually all roads lead home again.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to SailingBum)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Why - 2/23/2008 5:15:44 AM   
lronitulstahp


Posts: 5392
Joined: 10/17/2007
Status: offline 		Why not use this as a time for experiment?  Developing Your "craft", so to speak...honing Your skills as a Master?  One of the things that comes from playing along the way, is You learn from having a variety of partners.  For instance...every person has a different "hot-spot".  There are all kinds of kinksters out there.  You have Your painsluts, babygirls, brats, service sluts, there's a plethora of people to have fun with in between finding Your "one".  You may surprise Yourself and discover what You first sought isn't what You like.  Some Dom's want nothing other than a painslut until they meet a real masochist's masochist...then they run to the hills screaming.  And some, who started only liking the occasional spanking become sick twisted sadists that live for bruises welts, and blood trickles.  One never knows...but there is so much delight in finding out.

(in reply to Justme696)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Why - 2/23/2008 5:21:33 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

SailingBum,
i have been criticized for having partners for whom i felt no more emotion than fondness, for finding joy in serving without 'love' for being open to experience without committment.  But for me, all these things helped me to grow, to know myself better and to know my Master when He found me.  i had made the decision to enjoy the adventure that is life, to discover the paths not well worn, to not be afraid to throw the compass away, confident that eventually all roads lead home again.


It's kind of like the old adage.  If you see a fork in the road take it.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to eyesopened)
Profile   Post #: 20
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