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RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/24/2008 2:59:42 PM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goatmilkfriend

You are very understanding. I would just like to mention that the typical aspects of abuse that i deall with and the dynamics of them (like low self-esteem) are things i can and do identify for what they are, but i have been confused since integrating BDSM. That is, it makes me feel like it could be my fault. However, i am pleased to find a so-far unanmouse vote against the idea that one has anything to do with the other. Thats really why i'm here, not 2 ask 4 ppls judjment opinion on wheather or not i should leave him. That is the simlpe and apparent part that takes no contemplation. I just needed some clarification so i could stop feeling responsible. However, i have yet to get a fellow sub's perspective.
-Thanx a bunch


The answer is it has nothing to do with BDSM or d/s.  You are seeking to be unhealthy and you need to get therapy to figure out why and stop looking for someone to treat you badly.  You don't have to be a victim to be in a d/s relationship and even your posts here are playing the martyr/victim role.  Get help.  Stop dating and work on you.  We can't tell you why you feel what you feel, however, the fact that you feel that way and want to find abusive situations and then blame yourself for them suggests you need to walk away from any relationships right now and do some serious work on you and establishing boundaries, self-esteem or whatever else the case may be.  There are plenty of people that engage in d/s and/or bdsm for the wrong reasons, stop being one of them.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 2/24/2008 3:13:46 PM >

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to goatmilkfriend)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/24/2008 3:25:35 PM   
goatmilkfriend


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		Ur awesome SassySarijane. Thanx

(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/24/2008 3:35:55 PM   
goatmilkfriend


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		I really know what i have to do however contradictory a request for a group concencus may be.  I actually asked something specific in regards to feeling responsible for the incident. i needed to know that i did not owe him anything like moral support in his treatment (or whatever he will have to do after sentenceing) from bringing this Battery matter upon myself. I needed to be told that i did not bring it upon myself and that i can have my sexual kinks in a non-violent satifying relationship, which has also been confirmed unanamously.
thanx

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/24/2008 3:53:35 PM   
goatmilkfriend


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		branbran,
I fuken feel u chik (tear tear). Thanx. ur smart as hell.

(in reply to branbran77)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/24/2008 4:04:36 PM   
Emperor1956


Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline 		To the OP:   You received a lot of good advice.  I think the best was from LaTigress, in suggesting that you stay out of all romantic and sexual relationships for a while as you recover.

One thing that struck me -- you say over and over that he was the first man to give you an orgasm, and you say it like you owe him something for that.  You don't.  It is a physiological response, and can probably be duplicated by most of those who posted on here, and certainly can be duplicated with mechanical assistance.  You owe him nothing for that "gift", and you can and will duplicate it with other partners.  Good luck, miss.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to goatmilkfriend)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/24/2008 7:26:01 PM   
SassySarijane


Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: goatmilkfriend

Ur awesome SassySarijane. Thanx


You're welcome and thank you in return. I'm also going to add my own echo to those who've said to wait awhile before getting involved in a relationship and work on you. Any relationship you get into now or soon will be a rebound and could turn out to be like the one you just got out of or worse even.

Learn the lessons of this relationship and take time to heal and find you as an individual before jumping into you as part of a couple again. I learned finally and found me, the individual, though I made the mistake of the rebound thing, fear of being alone relationship-wise, first. Now I'm finding what fits me, fulfills me and when I'm ready and meet someone who fits me, I'll get into a relationship again.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to goatmilkfriend)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/24/2008 7:53:58 PM   
hiswetness


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/11/2008
Status: offline 		i have been in an abusive BDSM relationship.  i am now with a wonderful Daddy/Master.  When it feels bad..it is.  There is nothing wrong with you, other than the choices you are making.  That is something you can change.  A good Dom controls himself and the situation.  They do not punish out of anger or without regard for you and your safety.  They do not blame you for their lack of self control.  i am a sadist...i like pain and humiliation.  But i never feel bad or ashamed after a session with my Master...i feel loved and safe.  i cannot wait for the next session.  i do not fear him.  This is how it should be. 

(in reply to SassySarijane)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/24/2008 7:59:53 PM   
BoundDown


Posts: 76
Joined: 11/25/2007
Status: offline 		The fact you consent to this relationship is a good sign that this isn't a wrong situation, unless you are not to be trust in determining that this is a good thing, like suffering from battered womans or stockholm syndrome. But that is an idea I toy around with from time to time already

but I just started reading so maybe I am wrong.

(in reply to goatmilkfriend)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/24/2008 8:08:59 PM   
alwaysuna


Posts: 23
Joined: 2/23/2008
Status: offline 		Very short and sweet:

If he is in jail, he has bad judgement.

If he has bad judgement do NOT give him control of your safety and stability.

GET OUT

(in reply to goatmilkfriend)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/24/2008 11:09:14 PM   
lux221


Posts: 21
Joined: 10/30/2007
Status: offline 		-fast reply-

Abuse is not consenual and is never desereved. Drop him like a hot rock, get some therapy, and work on finding a partner that isn't abusive.

(in reply to alwaysuna)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/25/2008 10:47:38 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hiswetness
i am a sadist...i like pain and humiliation.  But i never feel bad or ashamed after a session with my Master...i feel loved and safe.  i cannot wait for the next session.  i do not fear him.  This is how it should be. 


Uhm...masochist?

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to hiswetness)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: My master has gotten in the habbit of crossing esta... - 2/26/2008 3:37:31 PM   
hiswetness


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/11/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hiswetness
i am a sadist...i like pain and humiliation.  But i never feel bad or ashamed after a session with my Master...i feel loved and safe.  i cannot wait for the next session.  i do not fear him.  This is how it should be. 



Uhm...masochist?



uhmmmm....both...i like to give and get....i have switched....i much prefer being on the receiving end.  

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 52
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