Diminished expectations

Diminished expectations (Full Version)

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drewnyc -> Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 1:49:24 PM)
Hello, I am a Dominant male. In my limited incursions into the BDSM community I have encountered the following prevailing ethos: Any Dom who demonstrates genuine affection, respect and desire for honest communication with his sub is not a true Dom. Any Dom who is unwilling to inflict random punishment or discipline is not a true Dom. Humanity, patience and gentleness are liabilities. Actual sexuality is rare. I am not a sadist or misogynist nor do I enjoy pointless cruelty. D&S to me is an extension/embodiment of my sexuality. Please explain. Thank you.

BitaTruble -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 1:51:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: drewnyc Hello, I am a Dominant male. In my limited incursions into the BDSM community I have encountered the following prevailing ethos: Any Dom who demonstrates genuine affection, respect and desire for honest communication with his sub is not a true Dom. Any Dom who is unwilling to inflict random punishment or discipline is not a true Dom. Humanity, patience and gentleness are liabilities. Actual sexuality is rare. I am not a sadist or misogynist nor do I enjoy pointless cruelty. D&S to me is an extension/embodiment of my sexuality. Please explain. Thank you. Those are not prevailing ethos. They are personal, subjective opinions and if you don't desire to hold them as truths for yourself, you are not obligated to do so. Celeste

juliaoceania -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 1:57:07 PM)
I do not know where you get the idea that this is the prevailing ethos for D/s couples. I have not experienced random punishment, disrespect, nor lack of affection as a submissive....

Celect -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 1:57:43 PM)
If that is the prevailing ethos that you find in any given community, and you do not share these values, then my advice would be to seek company elsewhere. Or, perhaps, to seek the company of those who also find themselves marginalised by the prevailing ethos. Perhaps if you outline your own philosophy in your profile here at CM you would find that there are others who share your values. Just out of interest...do you feel that it is other male dominants who seem to disagree with your own values, or is the disaproval from subs themselves? Whatever the 'prevailing ethos' wherever... there are always people around who find themselves at odds with these. Good luck with your search to find those who share your own beliefs.

DominantEngineer -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 1:59:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: drewnyc Any Dom who demonstrates genuine affection, respect and desire for honest communication with his sub is not a true Dom. BS this make you a true Dom. quote: Any Dom who is unwilling to inflict random punishment or discipline is not a true Dom. Punishment and discipline should never be random. If a sub breaks a rule she should knwo exactly what will come next. the last think you want is a sub who looses respect for you because you do not maintain structured discipline. quote: Humanity, patience and gentleness are liabilities. Actual sexuality is rare. I am not a sadist or misogynist nor do I enjoy pointless cruelty. Well if you think the above is true and find a partner who believes the same I doubt you will have a lasting or fullfilling relationship. quote: D&S to me is an extension/embodiment of my sexuality. You got it.

honeygirl -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 1:59:39 PM)
I don't find that to be prevalent either. You mention your exposure to this is limited -- I would say that you haven't been exposed to a large enough target audience. Also, it doesn't matter if millions of others do hold to those beliefs when it comes to how you think and behave, does it?

christine1 -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 2:03:55 PM)
you say your incursions are limited...keep encountering and learning and you won't see things as being as limited as you state.

AquaticSub -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 2:06:31 PM)
~Fast Reply~ What they all said. I haven't this to be the common theme at all, if anything it's probably among the rarer ways of doing things.

OmegaG -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 2:10:01 PM)
OK, so who's going to tell m'Lord he's not twue?

tigerseye -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 2:40:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: drewnyc Hello, I am a Dominant male. In my limited incursions into the BDSM community I have encountered the following prevailing ethos: Any Dom who demonstrates genuine affection, respect and desire for honest communication with his sub is not a true Dom. there is no such thing as a relationship, any type of relationship without honest communication. i would never think i wasn't getting enough affection from my Master. we both love each other very much and do not hesitate to show it quote: Any Dom who is unwilling to inflict random punishment or discipline is not a true Dom. punishment shouldn't be random. if i do something wrong, i get punished. if i don't do anything wrong i get kisses. that's the way it works for us quote: Humanity, patience and gentleness are liabilities. Actual sexuality is rare. humanity, patience and gentleness, no matter what the circumstances are, are never a liability. and while in the lifestyle there are those who are not into the sexual aspect of it, there are just as many who are. it's all about who you are and what you want. the only time you are wrong is when you have hurt yourself and someone you love. look around this site, you will see a million people with a million different ways of thinking, and while i may not personally agree with some of them, that doesn't make them wrong and me right or vice versa. everyone is different...that's why we are around smiles

LadyHathor -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 2:52:36 PM)
*Define what you are and what you seek, find someone who wants the same thing too---that's all the real and true you need.*

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 2:54:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: drewnyc Hello, I am a Dominant male. In my limited incursions into the BDSM community I have encountered the following prevailing ethos: Any Dom who demonstrates genuine affection, respect and desire for honest communication with his sub is not a true Dom. Any Dom who is unwilling to inflict random punishment or discipline is not a true Dom. Humanity, patience and gentleness are liabilities. Actual sexuality is rare. I am not a sadist or misogynist nor do I enjoy pointless cruelty. D&S to me is an extension/embodiment of my sexuality. Please explain. Thank you. Those are not prevailing ethos. They are personal, subjective opinions and if you don't desire to hold them as truths for yourself, you are not obligated to do so. Celeste Thank you!

adoracat -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 5:18:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: drewnyc Hello, I am a Dominant male. In my limited incursions into the BDSM community I have encountered the following prevailing ethos: Any Dom who demonstrates genuine affection, respect and desire for honest communication with his sub is not a true Dom. Any Dom who is unwilling to inflict random punishment or discipline is not a true Dom. Humanity, patience and gentleness are liabilities. Actual sexuality is rare. I am not a sadist or misogynist nor do I enjoy pointless cruelty. D&S to me is an extension/embodiment of my sexuality. Please explain. Thank you. dragonsnot. Daddy and i have been together almost a year now...and he's not ever "randomly punished" me, nor has he ever treated me with anything but love and respect. has he treated me with love and respect while using a flogger on me? absolutely. the two things are not incompatable. there is such a broad range of behaviors to WIIWD that if all you want to do is tie your submissive to the bed and inflict bad poetry on her, it falls within the bounds. [:)] kitten, whose Daddy loves her.

celticlord2112 -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 5:50:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: drewnyc Hello, I am a Dominant male. In my limited incursions into the BDSM community I have encountered the following prevailing ethos: Any Dom who demonstrates genuine affection, respect and desire for honest communication with his sub is not a true Dom. Any Dom who is unwilling to inflict random punishment or discipline is not a true Dom. Humanity, patience and gentleness are liabilities. Actual sexuality is rare. I am not a sadist or misogynist nor do I enjoy pointless cruelty. D&S to me is an extension/embodiment of my sexuality. Please explain. Thank you. Horseshit. I love my slave. I tell her I love her. I show her I love her. I am no less her Master because of this.

TracyTaken -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 7:14:55 PM)
Maybe you need more incursions into the world of BDSM.

Leatherist -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 7:16:24 PM)
OP....Have you been speaking to those annoying twue slaves again?

missfrillypants -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 7:26:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: adoracat there is such a broad range of behaviors to WIIWD that if all you want to do is tie your submissive to the bed and inflict bad poetry on her, it falls within the bounds. [:)] not bad poetry! attempts to hide this thread i hope i'm never so bad He decides to give me that punishment. i couldn't take it!

Leatherist -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 7:34:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: missfrillypants quote: ORIGINAL: adoracat there is such a broad range of behaviors to WIIWD that if all you want to do is tie your submissive to the bed and inflict bad poetry on her, it falls within the bounds. [:)] not bad poetry! attempts to hide this thread i hope i'm never so bad He decides to give me that punishment. i couldn't take it! I'd read to them from the gor books. In falsetto.

SubbieOnWheels -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 7:45:42 PM)
To the OP: That better not be true, because I'm looking for exactly what you describe as being "not quite the thing." Are you sure you don't want to move to California?

littlebitxxx -> RE: Diminished expectations (2/23/2008 8:06:32 PM)
In a word.....bullshit! Edited because this was meant for the OP, not tpam.

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