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RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 2/25/2008 5:41:10 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i wear my collars, ankle chains, and other "jewelry" in public all of the time. those in the know automatically recognize its menaing (especially drummers and a few bassists) meanwhile those not in the know - usually compliment me on my "jewelry". for example, i can get two different reactions to my leather collar ...it's either "nice collar ...your Owner/Dominant has good taste..." or "...cool necklace..."

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(in reply to SodomizHer)

Post #: 41

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 2/25/2008 7:47:54 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

Most of the submissives I've have relationships with over the years never gave such an indication until I asked "So, what's your wildest fantasy or similar?" on a vanilla date. If she replied, "Nothing weird", I knew that was my last date with her.

If someone I was out with on a vanilla date with asked me such a question he would get a throw-a-way answer too. Those women who said "nothing weird" may have been afraid to confide their kinky wild side with a virtual stranger on a vanilla date. Vanilla men are often either uptight sexually or they often have a madonna whore complex. I wouldn't share my kinky interests until I knew someone well enough to want to have sex with them.

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(in reply to SodomizHer)

Post #: 42

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 2/25/2008 8:31:34 AM

LadyLynx

Posts: 1098
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline

julia, that was my reaction to that. (though sometimes I have given up a neutral fantasy, (like wearing a clitoral vibe to a movie and giving it to my date to turn on and off.
The word obey is a bad word to some people, and should be avoided on a vanilla date. I think saying, in a soft but compelling voice,"Shhhh.close your eyes" and massaging her head. concentrating on making it as sensual as possible works for most women

Ms.Vampirella, I hope you keep us updated..........hmm started a fantasy idea in my head **grins**

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(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 43

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 2/25/2008 8:36:57 AM

ThunderRoad

Posts: 231
Joined: 3/15/2006
Status: offline

Invite her home. Watch Secretary. If she squirms while smiling, then you know. If she squirms while grumpy, you probably don;t need a second date :)

(in reply to LadyLynx)

Post #: 44

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 2/25/2008 8:48:42 AM

OmegaG

Posts: 1474
Joined: 10/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I have something that seems to work. It requires an actual date however. On the first or sencond kiss, I take her hair firmly in my hand not a yank but a frim grip. That seems to lead to 3 responses.

"Don't do THAT!!:

" I don't like that much........but....."

and finaly, "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

repsonse 2 or 3 may be a winner..:)

Jeff

Damn, Jeff, how much time could have been saved if only I'd dated you when I was 19.

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(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 45

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 2/25/2008 12:48:13 PM

carlie310

Posts: 256
Joined: 9/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I have something that seems to work. It requires an actual date however. On the first or sencond kiss, I take her hair firmly in my hand not a yank but a frim grip. That seems to lead to 3 responses.

"Don't do THAT!!:

" I don't like that much........but....."

and finaly, "mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm"

repsonse 2 or 3 may be a winner..:)

Jeff

grins. . .

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 46

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 2/26/2008 6:54:48 AM

twistedtight1

Posts: 24
Joined: 4/16/2005
Status: offline

greetings and good snowy morning...wishing that the groundhog was right...at a public vanilla function i had a Dominant male approach me and say "Hey i know what your necklace means"..it is the bdsm symbol i wear around my neck in plain view...as in my pic..its more definate then the handcuff pin...try it out...smiles always twist

(in reply to carlie310)

Post #: 47

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 2/26/2008 10:33:24 AM

SireKane

Posts: 105
Joined: 1/22/2004
Status: offline

I meet far more attractive submissive females at vanilla bars and Gentlemens clubs than I do on these so-called bdsm lifestyle sites. I do it the old fashion way, with conversation. It's my opinion that women are on these bdsm websites for a multitude of reasons, meeting someone in person is somewhere on the totem pole, but it is rarely a top priority. I suggest you put a profile on some of the vanilla personals site. The women on those sites are there to meet men for real. Be tactful in wording your profile, and be prepared to meet.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 48

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 3/21/2008 2:26:55 PM

ta2dqt

Posts: 375
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

I know I once commented on a lady's purse before....... because the "handles" where actual hand cuffs!! :)

Also....... maybe you can have a mini "Flogger" as a key chain hanging off your belt loop?....... go around the store...."playing" w/it while walking around?....... put one on your purse..............??

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Post #: 49

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 3/21/2008 3:23:54 PM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

I have found that many Catholic girls, who have gone to all girl Catholic schools , often grow up liking to do b-b-b-bad b-b-b-bad things.

(in reply to ta2dqt)

Post #: 50

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 3/21/2008 4:12:44 PM

MasterDarell

Posts: 19
Joined: 3/21/2008
Status: offline

I don't think there are any difinitive absolute qualities that can mark someone as submissive in a vanilla situation....unless of course they have "i'm a sub" written on their forheard. I was once waitingin line at a grocery store behind a pretty young and very vanilla girl. It was a hot day andfor a few seconds she jokingly stuck out her tounge andpanted. I playfully asked her if she was a dog, expecting this young woman to roll her eyes. Instead she turned to mean said, "i will be for you baby".

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 51

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 3/21/2008 4:22:34 PM

Tristan

Posts: 330
Joined: 5/31/2004
Status: offline

I generally look for a good intellectual and emotional fit with any potential dating / sexual partner, and the D/s always seems to follow. It might take a while sometimes to develop, but it always has developed.

(in reply to MasterDarell)

Post #: 52

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 4/21/2008 2:11:27 PM

savannastorm

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/2/2005
Status: offline

i came accross this forum quite accidently. my question as a sub is, how does one find a Dom, in a vanilla enviornment? lol.. its the same all round not so? I walke the malls and the streets, looking at the men, and wondering, is he a Dom? is he not? its a tough world this one.

(in reply to SodomizHer)

Post #: 53

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 4/21/2008 6:24:00 PM

MadameXTC

Posts: 96
Joined: 9/30/2004
Status: offline

hahaha I pick up on things, so I guess I should have been at the mall. Then again I also pick up alot on body language and am generally right most of the time. I saw a guy one time wearing a cuff pin and I smiled and told him I liked his pin to see what kind of reaction I got. Of course it was at a sci fi convention, but I like to check out the whole person.. Now if you ask me what color his eyes were I could never tell you. I have a bad habit of not looking people in the eyes. I also apologize way to much for things I shouldn't and I try to be nice to everyone I come in contact with in public. So think someone met me somewhere and knew I was submissive? It happened... I went to lunch with a few of my male friends when I was in the military and one guy was playfully flirting with me and pulled my hair. I have no idea why he did that but he got a definate submissive response. Needless to say we were in a vanilla environment and found out we each had BDSM in common. funny but true.. of course it never lasted between us, but it does happen

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Post #: 54

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 4/21/2008 7:02:05 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

It's too subtle, You need to wear an oversized black leather filson hat that says REAL LIFE DOM on the browband spelled out in silver spots.

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Post #: 55

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 4/21/2008 7:11:37 PM

midgetmafiosa

Posts: 195
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Maine, and SLC, UT
Status: offline

ok, cuff man...if you tried chatting me up, i would just think you were creepy. even if you were exceptionally attractive. it's just too random. and the cuff pin would just seem like a fashion mistake to me.

i'm also with jefff. pull my hair on a date if you want to know what i'm into. bite my lip. just try something interesting and a bit out of the ordinary for "vanilla" girls. but yeah, just get a date first.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 56

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 4/21/2008 7:36:49 PM

khem

Posts: 300
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline

I've been around strangers that were very obviously in the lifestyle and not said anything. I guess it's just a matter of not really wanting to speak in public about such things. I have wanted to say "nice collar" a few times though. (And yes, it was definitely that kind of collar)

(in reply to midgetmafiosa)

Post #: 57

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 4/21/2008 7:54:55 PM

ultsub

Posts: 50
Joined: 10/28/2004
Status: offline

I know several individuals in law enforcement who wear that type of pin on their lapel. Perhaps you're sending a mixed message.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 58

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 4/21/2008 8:00:32 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

I'm with Midget- get a date first. I'd be a little put off if someone randomly walked up to me while I'm trying to buy mac&cheese and asked if I was a submissive.... Actually, it DID happen once while I was at BK... I stupidly left a collar on my dashboard as I was going through the drive thru, and the guy kept going on and on about how he was Master so and so, and would like to meet me sometime to see if I was a match for him.... Leave me alone! I just want my fries. :(

(in reply to ultsub)

Post #: 59

RE: Finding Submissive Women at vanilla public places? - 4/21/2008 8:03:52 PM

midgetmafiosa

Posts: 195
Joined: 3/23/2008
From: Maine, and SLC, UT
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

I'm with Midget- get a date first. I'd be a little put off if someone randomly walked up to me while I'm trying to buy mac&cheese and asked if I was a submissive.... Actually, it DID happen once while I was at BK... I stupidly left a collar on my dashboard as I was going through the drive thru, and the guy kept going on and on about how he was Master so and so, and would like to meet me sometime to see if I was a match for him.... Leave me alone! I just want my fries. :(

ick! the things we go through for value meals!

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 60

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