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Introvert or Extrovert - 2/24/2008 6:31:51 PM

NefertariReborn

Posts: 381
Status: offline

A post in the sub/slave forum got Me thinking about My personality type and how it affects the way I do My D/s. I'm an introvert. Most people I know think I'm an extrovert, a party animal- if they could see into My thoughts they would find that I usually can't wait to get home. I love silence, quiet, order, solitude. I'm not big on people or crowds so the whole group dynamic (munches, Thunder, Folsum etc.) really doesn't appeal to Me. I also would not do well in a poly situation.

Are You an introvert or extrovert, and how does it affect your Dominance or submission?

Post #: 1

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/24/2008 6:48:39 PM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

I am very much an introvert....I love nothing more than to be at home and be close to My own things and environment...BUT! I loooove it when I have an audience when doing a session with My girl...I have a bit of exhibitionism in Me...and want to show off the things I can do, the skills that she has...that I have...and the way that we work together...

Explain that.

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to NefertariReborn)

Post #: 2

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/24/2008 6:50:01 PM

MistressVnus

Posts: 1036
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline

Interesting topic.
Although I can enjoy a social outing for "meet & greet" purposes. Or, to put faces to names (from internet & chat). When I'm out, I am the bubble of energy. Full speed ahead. But truth be known, I love my sanctuary, privacy, and "personal" Owner/slave exchanges the most.
People "out there" think they know me. In some ways they do. They've seen me do shows, seminars, and throw my energy all over the place. But it's those few special ones who really get to see the Mistress in Me. And it's only in my private space that will ever happen. And my private space, my private Dominance, my private penchants, is where the real fun is.

_____________________________

In the ties that bind,
Mistress Venus
http://www.mistressvenus.com

"I'm not IN the lifestyle. The lifestyle is in Me!"

(in reply to NefertariReborn)

Post #: 3

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/24/2008 8:42:29 PM

aidan

Posts: 904
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline

I can relate with what Vnus says. Sometimes I'll go out and socialize, and when I do people might think I'm an extrovert. I can party pretty well (and let's not confuse "partying" with "drinking copiously"). Hell, even when I'm with friends in public I can be, if not out going, at least interesting to be around. I'll put on the wiseacre rogue act. Well, back up. That's not entirely an act, but I'll emphasize it more sometimes. That's kind of a buffer, though.

My friends, in private, see a much different side of me. I don't seek out the company of more than a few people. I prefer mostly to be left alone, reading and ruminating, and when I spend time with friends I'm much more...I don't know, somber. Willing to talk about things that I normally wouldn't in public because the general populace wouldn't understand or care.

As for how it affects me submission, well, most but my closest friends would never guess I'm a sub. The whole devil-may-care, rebellious attitude doesn't seem to lend itself to that conclusion.

_____________________________

Do what now?

"I aim to misbehave."
-Mal Reynolds

(in reply to MistressVnus)

Post #: 4

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/24/2008 9:02:41 PM

sweetwenchie

Posts: 1993
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Sacramento, California
Status: offline

i am an introverted extrovert

, or perhaps i am more of an extroverted introvert. Interesting thread, and not one i have a quick easy answer for.

Not sure how it neccessarily affects my submission as it is simply part of who i am.

< Message edited by sweetwenchie -- 2/24/2008 9:12:26 PM >

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." - De Beauvoir

"You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist." - Nietzsche

(in reply to NefertariReborn)

Post #: 5

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/24/2008 9:13:13 PM

EvilKitty

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline

Have to laugh when I see these replies to your question! I'm happy to hear I'm not alone! I've been painfully shy most of my life, but have learned to exert myself to being more outgoing. Though it was "faking it" for a long time, I've become more comfortable over the years. I still often have heebeejeebees for a week before big social outings, though; upset stomach, nightmares of pants falling down, etc. LOL!
What odd animals we are, to be sure!
Lady Cat

_____________________________

Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

(in reply to NefertariReborn)

Post #: 6

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/24/2008 9:18:00 PM

EvilKitty

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline

There you go, hit the OK button before finishing the reply! I find it affects my dominance quite a bit. I find it VERY difficult to approach prospective subs, even at a party, to ask if they'd like to play. I've been turned down pretty frequently when I have gotten up the guts to ask, which of course only makes it harder the next time. It's one of the BIG reasons I'm on CM, trying to meet with prospects before putting myself on the spot at an event.
Lady Cat
...okay, NOW hit the OK button...

_____________________________

Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

(in reply to EvilKitty)

Post #: 7

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/24/2008 9:41:43 PM

KindLadyGrey

Posts: 358
Joined: 11/6/2007
Status: offline

Being an introvert is a lonely thing sometimes, and it's harder to find someone who understands an introvert because an introvert keeps thoughts and feelings in and an extrovert puts it all out there for people to see.

I am a natural introvert, but have learned to harness many extroverted traits to connect better with other people. Sometimes I need to sit alone and write terrible poetry, but other times I am only alone writing terrible poetry because I don't feel like I can talk to someone even though I wish I could. The latter is simply not acceptable, but fixing it forced me to reach outside my zone and throw myself on the rest of the world so I could just fucking connect with people. Sometimes I feel like a haphazard blob lurching from one place or person to another, oozing little pieces of myself on people to see how they react. Wow that was a terrible metaphor. Anyway, the point is that I don't have the finesse that natural extroverts do, but I force myself to do it anyway because no one can connect with another person without offering a bit of themselves.

And that mostly worked, so good. But in the process I learned that my mind really does work very differently, and that the way I live my life is very very different. And while I've gotten over constantly comparing myself to others, the fact that something about my brain is mindbendingly different in a way that is near inexplicable is an inescapable conclusion. (And now I will stop starting sentences with conjunctions. FOREVER.*)

Which brings us to how being an introvert effects my dominance. Ready? Here it is:

I WANT SOMEONE TO DO THINGS MY WAY.

I get tired of being so discordant to the rest of the world. I want to feel like I harmonize with someone. On a purely romantic level you can activate the soulmate mythos and say that regardless of how different you are there is someone, somewhere, who is perfect for you. Yeah well, that's nice. In the meantime, it's such a relief to be able to live my way with someone who accepts it unquestioningly as valid and works to fit themselves into my lifestyle and relationship style instead of forcing me to conform to theirs. It's just exhausting to navigate all the subtle unspoken subtext and tacit assumptions most people bring into a relationship.

Submissives by their very nature happily accept my lead and my style. They don't constantly push and fight against it or make me feel isolated because I am different. To them I am not different, I am the woman they adore and NOTHING could be more natural and right to them than me.

It absolutely melts my steel-girded rational heart.

*This is a lie.

(in reply to sweetwenchie)

Post #: 8

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/24/2008 10:19:54 PM

Shawn1066

Posts: 987
Joined: 10/7/2007
Status: offline

I'm an introvert who can do a pretty damn decent job at pretending to be an extrovert.

DV's Fox

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)

Post #: 9

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/24/2008 10:48:43 PM

NefertariReborn

Posts: 381
Status: offline

I'm sensing a trend here *grins* ok extroverts when you get in from socializing...perhaps some insights from you. But you introverts, keep posting. I feel like I'm not a merry contradiction anymore. Or, if indeed I am, that I have some company on this ship.

By the way, curly-locks - you cut your hair!!!!!!!!!!! *weeps* How could you?????

(If I stopped beginning sentences with conjunctions, the world would cease to exist. There's a little bit of literary rebellion deep down inside Me.)

(in reply to Shawn1066)

Post #: 10

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/25/2008 4:26:36 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I'm an introvert. I don't like big crowds of people and its rare that I go out socially. I'd much rather be at home or if I go out it is usually only with my sub and my um. It doesn't affect my dominance nor his submission as he is the same way. Sometimes I do need to be alone and I'll go in my bedroom and close the door. He knows to respect this and it doesn't mean something is wrong, its just Mistress needs her alone time.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to NefertariReborn)

Post #: 11

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/25/2008 4:33:34 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline

I am a EXTROVERT!!!!

Sorry, so many introverts I had to say it loud and say it proud

However, everyone needs their down time and I certainly do not have type A energy. But I definately feed of the energy of large groups. I also do well with public speaking.

I am also a Submissive, though an assertive one at that! from this thread there does not seem to be a trend as to introvert means your a submissive. There have been equal numbers of introverted Dom/me's as Submissive's.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 12

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/25/2008 4:36:16 AM

chezzy52

Posts: 220
Joined: 6/26/2007
Status: offline

I am mostly an absorber of things around me especially with strangers and i am in a meet and greet mode.Once i become comfortable..hide the lampshades..i am the party.

(in reply to Lashra)

Post #: 13

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/25/2008 4:45:23 AM

MissLily

Posts: 146
Joined: 8/19/2007
Status: offline

Hmmmm

I'm definitly an introvert. I'm not sure how it affects My dominance. I may not say much, but I'm confident enough to pretty much always speak My mind. And though I might not express My Dominance in words or in My dress, you can see it in My attitude. It's all about body language. I always look up and stand strait and when I speak to people, I look in the face.

Miss Lily

(in reply to NefertariReborn)

Post #: 14

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/25/2008 6:25:18 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Im both. Depends on who I am with. Im introvert up to a point. Sort of like a delayed reaction.

(in reply to MissLily)

Post #: 15

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/25/2008 7:10:48 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I am a chameleon. It all depends on the environment I am in.

I do not NEED to be around people and actually quite enjoy being alone. I've always been that way, even as a child.

Yet, put me in a group of people I enjoy and I can be very extroverted. I am very comfortable approaching and talking to most anyone that interests me.

On the flip side of that, if I am in a group that I don't enjoy, if I am in a bad mood or not feeling well, I will be the one sitting off in the corner people watching and counting the minutes until I can go home.

I am a real pain in the ass to share a ride with in the sense of, I want to arrive when I wish.......have a good time, if possible......then when I am ready to go, I am ready to GO! I will make your life HELL if you try and postpone my departure.

I forgot this part.......

As for how it affects my dominance, I think I frustrate the living shit out of people. My lack of need for people. An example: yeah I have had my fair share of contact from submissives on the other side. Several of them quite lovely I think. Yet because I don't feel a burning NEED to have someone jump into my personal space, they pick that up as a lack of interest and disappear. Add to that that I don't feel the need to yammer on the phone alot or begin barking orders and acting all UBERDOMME like from 1000 or so miles. Until I meet someone and spend some time with them, I am not going there. So, if they don't get that, and have the patience to actually get to know one another, they just wander off. Top that off with my whole "oh well, guess they just were not the one for me then......" attitude. I don't chase, if someone is interested in me they are just going to have to make an effort. If I keep up the contact, I am interested also. Just because I don't start demanding you flog yourself daily on webcam doesn't mean jackshit. ......Well, you probably get where I am going with this.

So yes, I believe my unique oddness affects others perceptions of my dominance. I do know that the few that have actually spent real time with me, at my home, well that is just a whole different kettle of fish.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 2/25/2008 7:17:53 AM >

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to NefertariReborn)

Post #: 16

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/25/2008 8:07:54 AM

Kirren

Posts: 580
Joined: 9/5/2007
Status: offline

I think the best thing to happen to Me was doing sessions in front of people. It cleared the way for SOOOO much in My mind...I became more confident knowing that I could make people gape at the things I pace My girl with....I think its even better when they see Me with a paddle....

_____________________________

Everything has been said before
There's nothing left to say anymore
When it's all the same
You can ask for it by name

Did I fail to mention...I am a BITCH?

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 17

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/25/2008 8:31:41 AM

EvilKitty

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirren

I think the best thing to happen to Me was doing sessions in front of people. It cleared the way for SOOOO much in My mind...I became more confident knowing that I could make people gape at the things I pace My girl with....I think its even better when they see Me with a paddle....

Interesting that you would say that! I started my leather-life onstage. Bottomed for a year & a half for training to a local dom friend of mine. We performed with the local fetish troupe (Bravo) every week. After 1 1/2 years, I moved to the dominant side (more chocolate!) & still performed. Funny, scening takes me to a place in my mind where outsiders do not exist; just me & my bottom. I see nothing else. Even though I don't get up on stages anymore, too old & warty & too arthritic to climb stairs!LOL!

_____________________________

Save the Earth! It's the Only Planet with Chocolate!

(in reply to Kirren)

Post #: 18

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/25/2008 10:11:27 AM

NefertariReborn

Posts: 381
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I am a chameleon. It all depends on the environment I am in.

I do not NEED to be around people and actually quite enjoy being alone. I've always been that way, even as a child.

Yet, put me in a group of people I enjoy and I can be very extroverted. I am very comfortable approaching and talking to most anyone that interests me.

On the flip side of that, if I am in a group that I don't enjoy, if I am in a bad mood or not feeling well, I will be the one sitting off in the corner people watching and counting the minutes until I can go home.

I am a real pain in the ass to share a ride with in the sense of, I want to arrive when I wish.......have a good time, if possible......then when I am ready to go, I am ready to GO! I will make your life HELL if you try and postpone my departure.

I forgot this part.......

As for how it affects my dominance, I think I frustrate the living shit out of people. My lack of need for people. An example: yeah I have had my fair share of contact from submissives on the other side. Several of them quite lovely I think. Yet because I don't feel a burning NEED to have someone jump into my personal space, they pick that up as a lack of interest and disappear. Add to that that I don't feel the need to yammer on the phone alot or begin barking orders and acting all UBERDOMME like from 1000 or so miles. Until I meet someone and spend some time with them, I am not going there. So, if they don't get that, and have the patience to actually get to know one another, they just wander off. Top that off with my whole "oh well, guess they just were not the one for me then......" attitude. I don't chase, if someone is interested in me they are just going to have to make an effort. If I keep up the contact, I am interested also. Just because I don't start demanding you flog yourself daily on webcam doesn't mean jackshit. ......Well, you probably get where I am going with this.

So yes, I believe my unique oddness affects others perceptions of my dominance. I do know that the few that have actually spent real time with me, at my home, well that is just a whole different kettle of fish.

Were We separated at birth? This is exactly My dominant style and in some ways greatest obstacle. I haven't been able to drum up a need of people, and I can't do the online thing (tres boring). So, if he's not able to travel within a reasonable time, it looks like I've fallen asleep. Not that I'm not interested but there's only so much talk I want to do. I'm a doer. Less talk more action.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 19

RE: Introvert or Extrovert - 2/25/2008 11:00:15 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Wooooohooooooooooo!!!! I have an evil twin!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to NefertariReborn)

Post #: 20

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