quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilKitty

I'm trying to find "someone" on CM & have questions about submissives profiles. I sometimes find profiles of people in my area, but often don't contact them if their profiles say things like, "Want to be trained; the longer the session the better". They say they must remain discrete & do not wish to attend local fetish events. The profiles say they do not wish to meet pro-dommes, but lifestylers.  I'm uncertain how to translate that. All my pro-domme friends ARE lifestylers. Normally, the people I see with them at parties may have BEGUN as clients, but have graduated to personal subs. Clients are not normally brought to parties. If a submissive can only come to my home or a motel to submit to me, doesn't that imply that I'm in the profession? If I ask for service in return for my attention to them, does that mean I'm not "lifestyle" enough?
I know, I'm rambling; hard to express my confusions sometimes. What does a sub wish to be "trained" in? What are they looking for? I am willing to spend time planning playtime, making certain that the person subbing to me has not placed their trust wrongly, making certain no harm comes to them....  I do not have sex with them, so I cannot accept offers of oral "service", & I'd really rather have a good footrub.
Is there anyone here who understands better than I apparently do?
Lady Cat
-the Evil Kitty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

*giggle* 
That was so right on target I am nearly speechless.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The specifics contexts to which you speak, those people basically want a no strings attached affair, usually because they are married, and are either unable to pay or cannot bear the "disgrace" of paying and try to still get what they want, on their terms.

When they say "trained" they mean "anything you are willing to do to me that also gets me hot."

Now, again, this is in THIS specific context to which you mean.  It's also an answer to what dorky doms who go around saying "I'm going to train you to be a good sub" is- they have no real idea other than lots of blow jobs, but they know the TERM and IDEA of being "trained" gets subs hot and distracted and that's all they really need.

quote:

ORIGINAL: hopelesslyInvo

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Gosh, Hopeless, I actually think you have a lot to say and made some valid points.
Unfortunately, I could not understand all of the points you were attempting to make. It rambled a bit and lost me here and there.
Perhaps, some training would help?... [;)]
(I still do think you had some good thoughts, though)

~Christina

thanks

the pertinent issue concerning wordy and detailed dissertations is the likelihood that my collective audience will dwindle in direct proportion to my effusive verbosity... 

look mom, i'm trying to be clever~

but basically yeah, i'm pretty hardcore at ranting, and maybe good at holding interest while i try to explain things, but i'm absolutely horrible at "saying it in less words" and that tends to diminish what i've written, sorry.

quote:

ORIGINAL: EvilKitty

As for the prodomme thing....1-My toes are not easily stepped on (hopelesslyinvo), not offended by much, don't stress much 2-When I said I "had feelings for" the person who was paying for domination, I meant it. I want to look them in the eye & make them feel submissive to me. I want to fulfill their needs, the same way I wish to fulfill the needs of my #1boy (collared to me for 11years now). While they're coming down from their high, I want to sit & stroke their hair, gently undo their bonds, bring them a drink of water. I do all these things because I want to. If the person I'm playing with is mine, I want to. If the person I'm playing with is giving me money, I still want to. I look at it like getting a gift certificate for my birthday. I doubt I'll ever change into the type of prodomme who says "you must bow down & worship & only generous males will be considered, you lowly ground-grubbers!".
EK