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Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 9:48:11 AM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		...a line from a song in Bring it on...I will probably get gutted and served on a platter for this question, but it is one that has been top of mind for several weeks now and I'd like to open it up--some things may be obvious to some and yet blatantly missing to others, so its worth chatting about, IMHO--( I have also attached at the bottom of this, links to other threads we have had over the years).
 
And I think this may apply more to the male submissives, but I am open to all--as My thinking could be flawed--so here goes, My issue is with these two statements:
 
I want to give over total control
 I want total domination
 
 
"... ok what do you mean by that? i want my D to control me completely. ok, can you elaborate on that? i want her to own everything, even my manhood. ok what does that mean to you? i want to be completely subservient to her, for her to control all my actions."       OY
 
So I'd like to open these up and get some reality on the table--
 
Total control/Total Domination:
 
Are you willing to be micromanaged?
Are you willing to ask when to poop and be refused? (this came from an LA reposnse I think and I spit coffee on that one)
Are you willing to turn over all your assets?
Are you willing to be told when and how much time you can spend with family?
Are you willing to forego any of your happiness for a D?
Are you willing to be told when to speak and when not, what to say and what not to say?
Are you willing to give over your right to independent thinking?
Are you willing to be told who to vote for, what to wear, what to eat and when, have your food ordered for you?
Are you willing to be used by whom ever She chooses, when and how?
 
You  may think these are extreme examples, they are not, they are all things under your terms "total control". The first time you say, " She can have total control, but..." that isn't total control, it is conditional and restricted--but probably a heck of a lot closer to real life.
 
The point I am making, is when you come to the table define yourself to some degree, to say you want to give up total control is so trite and canned and isn't reality IMHO or at least the majority of reality. If you aren't willing to have your winkie tied to a hummer, then maybe total control is a tad extreme. < enter sarcasm here>  and in this venue you cannot assume that the person you are talking with is on the same platform you are. Its like saying the sky is blue--pale, grayblue, royal blue, midnight blue? Its the same principle.
 
I want to be in chastity, but before and after, I have a normal life that consists of xxx
I want to be naked and chained--well after work, on the weekend and never ever in front of my friends
I want to give up decison making over xxx but I decide when to poop
I want to be able to have xxx in my life, do xxx, see xxx
I only want the play part cuz its a sex turn-on
 
Some may define these as limits or qualifiers--this- no limits, total control to Me is crap and its old.
 
This is not a rant, it is meant to get some subs thinking, we don't want canned responses, we don't want the standard stuff regurgitated back--we want to know where your head is and hopefully its not up your ass, or if it is, at least say so, I am sure there are some D's that seek that. I mean if you can't be honest and open here, where the heck can you be?
 
At least define yourself, or try and its not a laundry list of stuff, put some definition, some framework, some depth to what you are saying.
 
 
 
 
Are you a control freak? http://www.collarchat.com/m_1392095/mpage_1/tm.htm
What is the best way to control a submissive: http://www.collarchat.com/m_419/mpage_1/key_Control%252Csubmissive/tm.htm#419
Elements of control: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1641998/mpage_1/key_control/tm.htm#1641998

 
 
 

< Message edited by LadyHathor -- 2/25/2008 9:50:54 AM >

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.
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RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 10:18:26 AM   
tigerseye


Posts: 79
Joined: 1/10/2008
Status: offline 		my Master knows he has that type of control over my life but also allows me to make decisions for myself.  it doesn't make him less of a Master or me less of a slave the fact that he allows me to use my mind.  i live far from him, and have my goals for my life and while i always tell him what i'm doing, going, that sort of thing he doesn't pretend to know anything about my profession and doesn't tell me what to do in my profession.  but i am still his in all things i do and say, no thoughts otherwise.  there are many decisions he makes for the both of us, and i couldn't be happier when he does.  when he does it is like a giant blanket of comfort and protection covers me.  but the fact that he will ask for my opinion and thoughts on topics and will actually consider them when making a decision shows his love and respect for me as his slave.  he has told me many times he adores my mind and it is never his goal to turn me into a "yes" machine, saying only what he wants to hear and not actually speaking to him anymore.


_____________________________

~rose~


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RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 10:19:59 AM   
fairerthanshe


Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings LadyHathor,

Total control/Total Domination:
 
Are you willing to be micromanaged?  Yes
Are you willing to ask when to poop and be refused? (this came from an LA reposnse I think and I spit coffee on that one) Yes.  He hasn't turned me down yet and I do ask before I use the restroom while in his presence.
Are you willing to turn over all your assets? Yes.  Though he hasn't asked for them to this point.
Are you willing to be told when and how much time you can spend with family? Yes.  He has been very generous and supportive of the time I spend with my ums.
Are you willing to forego any of your happiness for a D? Yes.  I am willing to forego many things for SJ, and my rights to happiness is one of them. 
Are you willing to be told when to speak and when not, what to say and what not to say? Yes.
Are you willing to give over your right to independent thinking? Yes.  With any mastery, there is an implicit giving over of independent thought.  Once I thought this way, and slowly I came around to how Master thinks without making the rational choice to do so. 
Are you willing to be told who to vote for, what to wear, what to eat and when, have your food ordered for you? Yes.  We actually had a long discussion about the voting thing because of a previous thread.  It was interesting because it was the first thing that I actually bristled at the thought of giving over control.  He said that was an area where he couldn't see himself ordering me to vote a certain way.  The rest of the question, he does tell me what to wear on occasion and regularly tells me what to eat and orders my food.
Are you willing to be used by whom ever She chooses, when and how?  Yes.  SJ gives me to friends for there use whenever he wants.  We have discussed that it is not my choice and I will have no say in the matter.  He implied that if I did not care for someone, it was best left unsaid as that would be an impetus for SJ to gift me to the person. 

well wishes ~ fairer than she


_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to LadyHathor)
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RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 10:47:54 AM   
Alexantraining


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		One would have to have the level of trust in a Master or Dom that would speak to such control and domination, knowing that He would have my best interests at heart.  When that happens, yes, I would give it.

(in reply to fairerthanshe)
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RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 10:56:06 AM   
SubmissiveAK


Posts: 94
Joined: 3/5/2007
Status: offline 		These are the questions I started asking when I stopped trying to become a slave and started asking myself if I am a slave. More than that I cannot say as I have not found the one to own me and I am deally with a bad ear ache :(

~submissiveAK~

(in reply to Alexantraining)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 11:12:03 AM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline 		OK - so I've never even hinted that I'd like to give up total control. I didn't get to the ripe old age of [mumblety mumble] without learning some self-control. So, here are my answers.

Total control/Total Domination:
 
Are you willing to be micromanaged? No - I don't want him in my every action. I'm a big girl and can make some decisions all by myself.
Are you willing to ask when to poop and be refused? (this came from an LA reposnse I think and I spit coffee on that one) Are you kidding? A post-menopausal woman - and diabetic at that - needing permission? Nope - he'll know when I need to go by the sudden swish of wheelchair tires on their way to the bathroom.
Are you willing to turn over all your assets? Absolutely not! I've worked hard for 35 years, and I'm not going to give up the rewards of that work willy-nilly. I will contribute on an equalized basis to the running of a household, but I expect some of my assets to be mine to control. (Besides, when it comes to beneficiaries, some insist on blood relatives or spouse only. If he marries me, I'll think about changing my life insurance policy.)
Are you willing to be told when and how much time you can spend with family? Nope. My family is my family, and I belonged to them a long time before I belonged to him.
Are you willing to forego any of your happiness for a D? I would be in the relationship for our mutual happiness; I'd be expecting to receive some as well as give some. In any healthy relationship, each partner finds himself or herself foregoing some happiness.
Are you willing to be told when to speak and when not, what to say and what not to say? Within reason - keeping a guard on my Sagittarian tongue is something I need to learn, but as a professional wordsmith, I need to have a fairly loose rein in someone else's hands.
Are you willing to give over your right to independent thinking? Independent thinking is not my right - it is my nature.
Are you willing to be told who to vote for, what to wear, what to eat and when, have your food ordered for you? Don't even try to tell me how to vote. Yes, I would be willing to have clothing selections strongly suggested, as I have no sense of style. My diet is strict and regulated by a nutritionist, and within that diet I am intelligent and wise enough to make my own choices.
Are you willing to be used by whom ever She chooses, when and how? Not by just any Tom, Dick, or Harry - I'd need to know the person pretty well, and I'd need to be certain that safety in every respect is being observed.
 
There. I've said it, and I suppose now I'm going to hear all that stuff avout not being a true submissive. Or that I don't belong on CM because I like my play in the bedroom with lots of hot, kinky sex.


_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels


(in reply to LadyHathor)
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RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 12:15:55 PM   
Bound2One


Posts: 614
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		Interesting topic, LadyHathor.  Thanks for introducing the it.  I think there are a lot of newer submissives/slaves who need to ponder these points to figure out just exactly what it is they are seeking.  I don't have a twinkie ... lol ... but I think the question applies to both female subs as well as male.  I'm also going to answer with the caveat - this is MY pov - YMMV. 

[I want to give over total control  I want total domination ]

For me, the above statements are fantastic, fabulous fantasies.  When I am fully (usually physically, though that head space can be achieved over the phone also) within Master's control the safety and warmth that I experience is like nothing I've ever felt before.  It's delicious to obey, to please and, yes, for him to allow me to be pleased.  We're not 24/7, so there's no way Master could have total control and domination over my life.  There are too many outside circumstances and responsibilities we both have which prevent this.  While I strive to always be obedient, I am not always within his control.  I obey the guidelines he has structured for me, but I am not always actively operating as his slave (which is how we've determined our relationship to be labeled - Master/slave).  I am always his, however, I also function as mom, daughter, employee, friend, etc., all of which require me to use my brain. 

The fantasy of never having to make another decision in my life w/o discussing it with Master or being told what to do is appealing to me for a nanosecond.  Then my mind takes over, and I balk at the thought of not being able to pee when my body tells me to... or turning over all assets to him... or having someone tell me all the time what I should be eating, drinking, etc.  I adore that Master respects my intelligence and discusses issues with me.  Of course, his is the final word, but he always takes my opinions and feelings into consideration, and has helped me understand parts of myself that I haven't been able to before. 

I'm wondering what the question was... lol.  OK - limits/qualifiers.  I don't want to be micromanaged (clothes, schedule, etc.); I don't wish to be a robot to his commands - I want to understand the why behind the commands, even if the answer is simply 'I wish it to be so.'; we are exploring my limits on pain, and when we hit my limit, I have a safeword to let him know.  I wish to be obedient and pleasing to him in the ways he has determined to be important.  Most importantly, I wish to be held accountable for my part in our relationship - this is a two-way street for us, and I wish to use my intelligence, obedience and sexuality to make it as satisfying for both of us as humanly possible.

(in reply to LadyHathor)
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RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 12:38:32 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		 
Hmmm.....veddy interestink (stroking my chin)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor

 
Are you willing to be micromanaged?

 
Yes.  And I was at first, and gradually less so as he came to trust, understand, and enjoy my thinking and processing.
 
quote:


Are you willing to ask when to poop and be refused? (this came from an LA reposnse I think and I spit coffee on that one)

 
Yes, this is not unusual between us.


quote:


Are you willing to turn over all your assets?

Yes, and while he does not want all of my assets because he wants me financially secure in my retirement, he has access to my things and my money, whenever he wants and for whatever he chooses to use it.  The way I see it, he has Accounts A - his accounts, and Accounts B - "my accounts", and he can decide from where various expenses are paid, and when (and how much) he wishes to transfer between accounts.
 
quote:


Are you willing to be told when and how much time you can spend with family?

 
Absolutely.  In fact, because he ordered me to spend MORE time with them than I ever did before, I have rebuilt damaged relationships.  There are times he has put my time with him on a back burner so that I could be with my family (his decision, not mine) and times when he has put my family on hold so that I could spend time with him.  I absolutely trust his judgment and decisions about this.
 
quote:


Are you willing to forego any of your happiness for a D?

 
This is a really weird question for me, because my overall picture with him is that I am happier than I have ever been.  He prefers me to be happy, and while there might be periods of time when I am anxious or sad or upset by something he has decided, the big picture is that I am very happy.  I can deal with the onesy-twosies because they don't represent the whole.
 
quote:


Are you willing to be told when to speak and when not, what to say and what not to say?

Yes, and this happens too, from time to time.
 
 
quote:


Are you willing to give over your right to independent thinking?

This is another werid one for me because he actually developed my skills for independent thinking.  He wants me to think on my own so he would not remove that from me.
 
quote:


Are you willing to be told who to vote for, what to wear, what to eat and when, have your food ordered for you?

 
Yes.  He allows me my own vote but could change his mind at any time.  He selects what I wear when we are together - either indoors (naked) or outdoors.  When I am not with him, I report to him every morning what I am wearing for the day.   I like the feeling of dressing for him and being aware of how I have put myself together.  And whenever we are out together he orders for me.  I don't even look at menus anymore.
 
quote:


Are you willing to be used by whom ever She chooses, when and how?
 

No question.  I love being his sex toy.  He exposes me more than he shares me, but he has involved others before, in varying degrees. 

quote:


You  may think these are extreme examples, they are not, they are all things under your terms "total control". The first time you say, " She can have total control, but..." that isn't total control, it is conditional and restricted--but probably a heck of a lot closer to real life.

 
Great observation.  I have seen girls tell my Master "I want to give all of myself to you, total control, everything" while really not understanding what that means.  The first time he takes them up on that, even to a minor degree, reality hits.  I try to tell them in advance how difficult it may be, but nobody listens to me, lol.

 
quote:
 
Some may define these as limits or qualifiers--this- no limits, total control to Me is crap and its old.

 
It is my belief that placing limits on one's owner is not giving one's owner "total control." 

 

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 1:32:10 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Some may define these as limits or qualifiers--this- no limits, total control to Me is crap and its old. 


no limits and total control might be old and crap for YOU...but it is how some of us live and enjoy our very much real lives together.

Are you willing to be micromanaged? ...some would call it that, and yes.

Are you willing to ask when to poop and be refused? (this came from an LA reposnse I think and I spit coffee on that one) ...yes, this slave asks permission for that as well as eating, drinking, smoking and napping.

Are you willing to turn over all your assets? ...yes, and have.

Are you willing to be told when and how much time you can spend with family? ...yes, and have.

Are you willing to forego any of your happiness for a D? ...yes, although He has not made this slave forego any happiness, so far.

Are you willing to be told when to speak and when not, what to say and what not to say? ...yes...he utilizes many speech restrictions, including, but not limited to, third-person speech and no-cursing-at-the-dinner-table.

Are you willing to give over your right to independent thinking? ...not exactly sure what you mean by that, could you please clarify? 

Are you willing to be told who to vote for, what to wear, what to eat and when, have your food ordered for you? ...yes...and have been for almost 5 years.

Are you willing to be used by whom ever She chooses, when and how? ...yes, however, He is far more particular about who He shares this slave with than she ever was before becoming His.
 
quote:

It is my belief that placing limits on one's owner is not giving one's owner "total control." ...original: ownedgirlie 

 
this slave wholeheartedly agrees with ownedgirlie's belief regarding "total control".



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RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 1:51:09 PM   
HeavansKeeper


Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline 		This situation always reminded me of The Sims: A game where the character you control will squirm and whine instead of use the john.
http://thesims.ea.com/. 

I can understand how a slave would want such control over them, but there are concerns.

Because running two lives is twice the work of running one, it requires an immense amount of time and effort to do.  I'd be concerned with the slave losing the ability to think for themselves.  There will always be times when master won't be able to make the choice.  It's a laugh now, but conditioning is a bitch.

There's certainly nothing wrong with that lifestyle, but it's not my bag.  I've told My Pet that I don't want a robot.  If I did, I could buy blow up dolls and hookers.  Yes, there are times when I want to use all of these methods of control over her, but I don't want it to be expected.  I like the impact of interupting her order to change it, or making her go back and put on the Alice in Wonderland outfit.  Some of these, though, I do honour.  I require her to seek permission for the bathroom, if in my presence.  She is mine to use when and how I see fit. 

I have emergency power over her, but do not use it at every opportunity.

I have another principle.  I never want her to not have the choice to leave.  She is my puppy, and the front door is always open.  I'm not saying I keep her ready to leave, ready to break it off, but possible.  If I have all her money, power of attorney, and literally own her mind, she could never leave.  That's not devotion.  That's servitude.

In short:  Robots aren't my bag.

_____________________________

The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

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RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 5:43:45 PM   
madshysoul


Posts: 105
Joined: 2/25/2008
Status: offline 		Are you willing to be micromanaged?
As a scene? For a time? Because someone really wanted to spend a weekend in control like that? Sure. 24/7/365? Hell no.
Are you willing to ask when to poop and be refused?
My bodily functions are my bodily functions. I see no reason to discuss them with someone else unless my/their health and well-being are being affected by it.
Are you willing to turn over all your assets?
If I were to marry my theoretical Dominant, I would expect our assets to be intermingled as a family to support us.
Are you willing to be told when and how much time you can spend with family?
Depends. Am I being 'told' in a manner that is psychologically healthy for all parties involved? IE encouraged to mend misunderstandings, avoid toxic people?
Are you willing to forego any of your happiness for a D?
I would be a poor fit for any Dominant that expected this.
Are you willing to be told when to speak and when not, what to say and what not to say?
I'm willing to be slapped around for being a mouthy SAM...
Are you willing to give over your right to independent thinking?
Heh. I'd like to see someone try.
Are you willing to be told who to vote for, what to wear, what to eat and when, have your food ordered for you?
Respectively, HELL NO, yes, yes and yes. Though a good relationship for me those things might be an occasional part of our play...but hardly regular.
Are you willing to be used by whom ever She chooses, when and how?
I don't know on this one. If I were in a fully-built, stable relationship with a great deal of knowledge and trust between us...probably. But that would by no means be an out-the-gate type of negotiation point.

(in reply to HeavansKeeper)
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RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 5:46:50 PM   
LadyHathor


Posts: 775
Joined: 1/2/2008
Status: offline 		Wow, I didn't expect so many detailed responses, this is awesome and I hope we continue--I didn't think people would take the tedious time to answer the questions as much as they were I hope, thought provokers for just how much control does a person want to give over--so this is really an insight--keep the posts coming!

As for Me, I am of the mind of HeavansKeeper--I do not have the time to micromanage, and I do not want the boy to lose or give over his independent thinking ability, and heavens, here I am on a conference call with France, Germany and Israel, and he has to poop and cannot disturb Me---oh no, nope, that he can keep--lol.
 
Some one recently asked Me and I said, I am the keeper of the game plan, I take the responsibility to make sure all the things get done, cared for, looked after--but inside that plan everyone has tasks, to do's responsibilities.
 




< Message edited by LadyHathor -- 2/25/2008 5:51:59 PM >

_____________________________

Lady Hathor, I am the Mistress Hathor of Orleans, I am what I am, often to the dismay and discomfort of others.

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RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 6:00:33 PM   
fleshslave


Posts: 22
Joined: 10/14/2005
Status: offline 		I have to say up front, my answers are based on a former relationship I had.

Are you willing to be micromanaged?     yes, and was
Are you willing to ask when to poop and be refused? (this came from an LA reposnse I think and I spit coffee on that one)   When togther, of course.
Are you willing to turn over all your assets?  Had he wished it, yes
Are you willing to be told when and how much time you can spend with family?   yes, and he required me to spend a lot of time with family
Are you willing to forego any of your happiness for a D?    Why would he want me unhappy?
Are you willing to be told when to speak and when not, what to say and what not to say?   yes, i would for him
Are you willing to give over your right to independent thinking?   yes, i would
Are you willing to be told who to vote for, what to wear, what to eat and when, have your food ordered for you?   He ordered for me, told me what to wear, and often told me what color lipstick to wear. As far as voting, i would vote as he told me, but he enjoyed our differences and would not have asked that of me. He wanted me to have a brain and use it
Are you willing to be used by whom ever She chooses, when and how?   yes.

When someone finds "the one", pleasing him, seeing him happy, makin ghim smile, is all that matters.
 

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 6:57:55 PM   
SunNMoon


Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline 		This has been a very interesting read. Thank you everyone that posted, and to you Lady Hathor for posting it.

This is very similar to the questions I asked Pet before we really started dating. The main reason was I wanted to see how our views on ds relationships fit together. Again a very interesting read.


_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 9:46:56 PM   
nineofone


Posts: 41
Joined: 12/1/2004
Status: offline 		As an owned sub untill 6mths ago,I can say that RARE is the Dominant who has their shit together well enough to be able to undertake such massive and intricate responsibilities. I would assume that each Dom can ask the afore stated questions to themselves in the context of "if they really have it together enough to be so profoundly responsible for someone elses life.."
If it's just temporary roleplay who cares,its fun.
If it real live honest to goodness lifestyle,I havent met many who are that knowledgable themselves,or TRULY have their slaves best interests at heart. Most are just selfish,arrogant asswipes and profiteers.

_____________________________

Life is to be lived!

(in reply to SunNMoon)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 9:56:47 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		Are you willing to be micromanaged?  yes, but i prefer to chose to be with someone who does not want to micromanage
Are you willing to ask when to poop and be refused? (this came from an LA reposnse I think and I spit coffee on that one)  yes, if it was required of me, in my current relationship, it is required that i take care of all my personal needs - eating, drinking, bathroom, medicine - asap, without delay...he likes me healthy and functioning
Are you willing to turn over all your assets? yes, i have in the past, i will in the future
Are you willing to be told when and how much time you can spend with family? yes, he does this for my own good, because i have this habbit of spending so much time with them that i self destruct and spew crazy all over everyone in the vacinity
Are you willing to forego any of your happiness for a D? yes, but again, i would not choose to be with someone that would ask me to do so, in fact he does everything he can to encourage me to find happiness within me
Are you willing to be told when to speak and when not, what to say and what not to say? lol, that would be a big resounding yes...whenever i am not calm (which is 90% of the time) i am supposed to check with him before speaking...working on complying with that one...speak first, then think...no wait, think first, then speak....yea...
Are you willing to give over your right to independent thinking? he is teaching me to think...but as i mentioned with the previous question, he is teaching me to think correctly...cause my brain lies to me...a lot...
Are you willing to be told who to vote for, what to wear, what to eat and when, have your food ordered for you? yes, again....all a part of the compatibility...and shockingly enough, talking before the collar goes on...
Are you willing to be used by whom ever She chooses, when and how?  i wish he would, but he's jealous...at least of taller bald black men...hmmm hehe....

chelle


_____________________________

One thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve. ~Albert Schweitzer

(in reply to SunNMoon)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 9:59:13 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		For me, it's all about Spirit Fingers.

Sparky (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 10:13:06 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Some people DO want that level of control...and would squeeze their ass cheeks together if they had to. I could have this kind of control over my girl...but because I personally don't want to be bothered every time she needs to poop, I made it clear in the early stages that she was always free to take care of her body. If we're together at a function/event, I simply want to know where she is going.

she would gladly turn over all her assets, even the ones that she owns with her husband, if I asked for them. I don't because her husband is not my slave and it'd be an infringement on him, non-consensually. However, I am now a partner in her business, we have a joint saving account, we are on each other's checking accounts and we are beneficiaries of each other's estates. We also have medical power of attorney for each other. This mean that my decisions for her health actually trump her husband. The idea behind that was if they were both in an accident, she had someone to speak for her desires (her husband has family who can speak for him).

she would give me everything I asked for, even if she struggled with it. There are many things that makes us a good match, though. The things that she'd rather keep control of are the things I'd rather not have control of...so while I COULD ask for these things, I don't. But, once she understood the intent behind something, she'd work to surrender whatever I asked.

This doesn't mean that she'd do everything instantly nor does it mean she wouldn't struggle with some of the requests. There are emotional issues that happen and psychological things that crop up, especially if I ask something that just doesn't make sense to her. Our world is not perfect.

As for "I want to do xyz PHYSICAL activities, but only under certain circumstance" or "I want to give up control for a specific period of time", I consider these people to be bottoms and submissives (notice that I did NOT say "just" bottoms and submissives). These are GOOD things. I'm a bottom myself when it comes to sex. I want this, this and this, but ONLY under MY perscribed circumstances. There are many great Tops to match with these people (although, I seem to be in a deficit at the moment, damnit!).

I think many, many people who say they want total control really want partial control of some sort. They're saying they want to give over total control because that's the fantasy of it and how it's worded in fiction they read. Many, many people do NOT understand the differenence between reality and fantasy in the lifestyle and aren't able to articulate the difference.

My brain is fuzzy...if this hasn't addressed the point of the question, let me know and I'll try again.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 10:48:55 PM   
SubbieOnWheels


Posts: 590
Joined: 12/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHathor
I am the keeper of the game plan, I take the responsibility to make sure all the things get done, cared for, looked after--but inside that plan everyone has tasks, to do's responsibilities.
 


I like this. That's what I'm looking for!

_____________________________

Bethical
Beat me, strike me, take away my reindeer! I'll never tell! -- Walt Kelly, Pogo Possum
I yam what I yam - Popeye

http://www.myspace.com/bethical_wheels


(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Prepare for Total Domination - 2/25/2008 11:20:35 PM   
liks2plzlf


Posts: 390
Joined: 7/21/2005
Status: offline 		When I came on to c m, I wanted to be a total slave. After corresponding with some of the Dominas, and reading the many posts on the subject, I have come to heed the warning "be careful what you wish for". I am 98% convinced, at least for me, it won't happen, so maybe a service bottem, or male wife. Still hold out for a remote chance I might meet that one woman who I will want to serve so desperately, I will become her total slave.
   If I was still with my very first real girl friend, and felt the same about her now, she would own me. Hopefully there is still one out there. In the previous posts, about the 9 levels of submission, the 9th was viewed as mostly fantasy, except for a few. The 7th and 8th, are certainly probable.

(in reply to LadyHathor)
Profile   Post #: 20
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