RE: Keep your cards close

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Keep your cards close

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> RE: Keep your cards close

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/25/2008 4:36:20 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

No worries!

_____________________________

(in reply to Lumus)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/25/2008 5:01:34 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Hell I can barely with hold here. Imagine if I actualy knew you. I find it is easier for me just to put it on the table.

Jeff

(in reply to Skully7000)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/25/2008 5:31:13 PM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Hell I can barely with hold here. Imagine if I actualy knew you. I find it is easier for me just to put it on the table.

Jeff

its funny how that works for me: an "annonymous" screen I pretty much volunteer all..usually only being reserved when it comes to sharing information about others...

in person I fall into a "if you want to know ask" policy where I volunteer very very little but divulge just about anything asked.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/25/2008 6:21:07 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

He is dominant. Explaining things to me so I can keep up with him doesn't take anything away. In fact, him being secure enough to explain and answer any questions or worries I have enhances his appeal in my eyes. It just deepens trust.

These days I don't need the answers, I just need to know that if I think of a potential problem, he's already considered and solved it.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Lumus)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/25/2008 6:34:58 PM

angelic

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I withhold only in cases of a mindfuck scene. Otherwise, why withhold from that which you are most secure? Pragmatically alone, they need to know everything so they can serve to the best of their abilities.

I find the doms who are afraid to be open are using their dominance as an excuse to hide from insecurity.

You said better, what i was thinking. If they need to 'hide' things from me, then they are not what i seek. End of story.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/25/2008 6:36:15 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: celticlord2112

quote:

If by 'laying out your cards' you mean being frank and forthright, then most people will probably answer in the affirmative...well, except for CelticLord, who enjoys ephemeral and "honesty through tangent acknowledgement"-al commentary.

The other option was just too obvious:

You got to know when to hold em, know when to fold em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when youre sittin at the table.
Therell be time enough for countin when the dealins done.

GAH!!! I was trying to keep that out my head from the moment I saw the thread title.

You are an EVIL MAN!

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/25/2008 6:52:20 PM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
You are an EVIL MAN!

You say that as if it were a bad thing...

_____________________________

(in reply to GreedyTop)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/25/2008 6:59:54 PM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

I need to know if someone has a full deck first.

_____________________________

My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

(in reply to Lumus)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/25/2008 7:01:54 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Skully7000

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Hell I can barely with hold here. Imagine if I actualy knew you. I find it is easier for me just to put it on the table.

Jeff

its funny how that works for me: an "annonymous" screen I pretty much volunteer all..usually only being reserved when it comes to sharing information about others...

in person I fall into a "if you want to know ask" policy where I volunteer very very little but divulge just about anything asked.

I undersatnd what you are saying..my Master is pretty much the same way. It makes it very hard sometimes though. Because if I don't ask the right question I'm SOL as to finding things out.

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 2/25/2008 7:02:29 PM >

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to Skully7000)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/25/2008 7:04:40 PM

GreedyTop

Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I need to know if someone has a full deck first.

well, lets ME out....

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/26/2008 5:19:16 AM

Skully7000

Posts: 377
Joined: 7/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

I undersatnd what you are saying..my Master is pretty much the same way. It makes it very hard sometimes though. Because if I don't ask the right question I'm SOL as to finding things out.

I do realize that I have caused some flak in previous relationships due to that. if your master works the way I do...just wait half and hour- do something else to get his mind off it...then revisit it later, usually when things are swimming around in your head so much the get clogged if you try to get them out. wait till it all smooths out and it should drain nicely;)

(in reply to breatheasone)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/26/2008 8:28:01 AM

celticlord2112

Posts: 5732
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

I need to know if someone has a full deck first.

I have a full deck. Of course, I've been accused of playing poker with a pinochle deck.....

_____________________________

(in reply to Leatherist)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/26/2008 10:02:44 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

Every card I've dealt from day 1 has been face up.

Requirements, expectations, consequences, and even word definitions; all laid out in words, often with visual examples included. There is nothing to hide, no shame, no worry about consequence.

I expect the same from anyone I considered for a relationship, it would be hypocritical to expect to get what you aren't prepared to give.

I wasn't always like this, it took a life changing incident to take on philosophy. It serves me well personally and professionally. I find it amazing that most people are disarmed by this tactic. They aren't used to full disclosure, a clear and pragmatic approach to a relationship whether business/personal, casual/formal, long term/temporary. Hell its fun to watch the reaction. Usually there is a lot of brow furrowing and wonder about if I have a 'hole card'. They end up playing and negotiating with themselves and as a result expose more than they had intended.

Exposing it all - is MUCH easier. Not to 'play' but to make sure the other side is NOT 'playing'. Determining if someone was only 'playing' was always important and my goal. The process takes much less time now. Exposing all without concern about hiding anything provides much more opportunity to observe and determine the integrity of anyone you come in contact.

(in reply to celticlord2112)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/26/2008 11:56:44 PM

MadameTakhisis

Posts: 55
Joined: 12/19/2007
Status: offline

I agree with Breathasone. If you cant produce the question you do not earn the answer! The truths are given at negotiation which should happen before accepting the role. I find once you give up the script rehearsing only dulls sincere responses nullifying natural progress. If we are going to play Tiger hunter of course there will be a Tiger involved but I choose when he jumps out to bite you on the ass other wise you never learn to put the Tiger into perspective. I get to drive the Nascar you are in the back seat cleaning my high heels as you balance on your toes and butt plug. Focus on your balance and rubbing the spit into my high heels, not that it`s a fact that the track is round with no bumps and only left hand banks and you get no water till the race is over. I am the driver which was agreed to at the beginning of the race, hell before we chose the car. But if I choose to leave the race and hit the speed bumps at high speeds in the parking lot you may not grin from ear to ear as your ass absorbs the blows but you will appreciate me when I am finished!

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/27/2008 2:47:28 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

~ Fast Reply ~

Every card I've dealt from day 1 has been face up.

Requirements, expectations, consequences, and even word definitions; all laid out in words, often with visual examples included. There is nothing to hide, no shame, no worry about consequence.

I expect the same from anyone I considered for a relationship, it would be hypocritical to expect to get what you aren't prepared to give.

I wasn't always like this, it took a life changing incident to take on philosophy. It serves me well personally and professionally. I find it amazing that most people are disarmed by this tactic. They aren't used to full disclosure, a clear and pragmatic approach to a relationship whether business/personal, casual/formal, long term/temporary. Hell its fun to watch the reaction. Usually there is a lot of brow furrowing and wonder about if I have a 'hole card'. They end up playing and negotiating with themselves and as a result expose more than they had intended.

Exposing it all - is MUCH easier. Not to 'play' but to make sure the other side is NOT 'playing'. Determining if someone was only 'playing' was always important and my goal. The process takes much less time now. Exposing all without concern about hiding anything provides much more opportunity to observe and determine the integrity of anyone you come in contact.

Thank You!
i see no reason to hide anything once i was ready for a permanent, committed relationship. As you mentioned, it really takes less time. If i'm not compatible with someone, i wanted to find that out quickly, not years later. my Master also put all the cards on the table. Full disclosure, nothing hidden. When i came to Him naked, it was not just my body, that was just a symbol really.

Even with nothing hidden there's still plenty of adventure and discovery together, as we grow together we grow deeper.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/27/2008 5:40:41 AM

FirmhandKY

Posts: 8948
Joined: 9/21/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Skully7000

alright I have an example: a dom I know has any of his long term play partners fill out an interests Sheet. this covers a vast array of interests and classifies them(similar to the CM profiles) as curious, level of experience and hardlimites ect. now he requires this of Subs he will be playing with on a regular basis. but then he will turn around and say: but I don't fill it out i'm the dom. he says it in a joking way and i'm not faulting him for it but thats how he chooses to play his cards.

TreasureKY using Firm's account...

I've come across this very thing before and it's the reason I added this to my profile:

How can I truly trust and submit to a man that I do not know? And just how much value would you place on deference that isn't really for you but instead some fiction?

At that time, my only reason for even talking to a dominant was to determine if he was compatible with me. If he was keeping his cards close to the vest, then any decision I would come to would be based on assumptions I made based on incomplete information. Any dominant wanting to play those kinds of games with me found out very quickly that I'm a spoilsport.

< Message edited by FirmhandKY -- 2/27/2008 5:42:09 AM >

(in reply to Skully7000)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/27/2008 7:15:28 AM

subtee

Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Requirements, expectations, consequences, and even word definitions; all laid out in words, often with visual examples included. There is nothing to hide, no shame, no worry about consequence.

Right on! It seems to me it can be pretty distressing for a sub to learn through a lack of undertanding and then potentially making mistakes or by making assumptions--which, after all, is what she may feel she has to do, not having been given "the cards"--and then being corrected. We are all of us informed by our previous relationships and experiences. This is what we bring to each other, Dom and sub. Having only that at the outset of a relationship may invite undue and unnecessary stress and conflict, no?

_____________________________

Don't believe everything you think...

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/27/2008 7:31:26 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Hey no women allowed in this card game. Start your own game. Ths whole post is about communication. Either you do it or you don't.

(in reply to subtee)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/27/2008 8:10:42 AM

Justme696

Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline

Depends on the person if I card with them or not

_____________________________

~Been there, done that, got the t-shirt

(in reply to Lumus)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Keep your cards close - 2/27/2008 11:37:54 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

Are we playing poker or not. Scoops the pot.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Justme696)

Profile

Post #: 40