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RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 3/7/2008 7:19:15 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		How nervous I am about meeting someone is directly proportionate to how much I want from the meeting.  I have never been nervous abut meeting a model of any orientation.  Meeting someone I might possibly want to be my casual play thing, or a Platonic friend?  Perhaps a twinge.  Meeting someone that I want to have a profound long-term relationship with?  Uh...yeah.  Girlish anxiety out the wazoo.

Suddenly I'm a teenage girl hitchhiking to meet my first submissive penpal.    "What if he doesn't think I'm pretty in person?" etc....oy.   

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 3/7/2008 8:07:59 PM   
kinkbound


Posts: 387
Joined: 9/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

How nervous I am about meeting someone is directly proportionate to how much I want from the meeting.  I have never been nervous abut meeting a model of any orientation.  Meeting someone I might possibly want to be my casual play thing, or a Platonic friend?  Perhaps a twinge.  Meeting someone that I want to have a profound long-term relationship with?  Uh...yeah.  Girlish anxiety out the wazoo.

Suddenly I'm a teenage girl hitchhiking to meet my first submissive penpal.    "What if he doesn't think I'm pretty in person?" etc....oy.   


OMG, you have an incredibly kissable face.

Umm, I think I hear the phone ringing. Gotta go now. 

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 3/7/2008 8:14:08 PM   
ShaktiSama


Posts: 1674
Joined: 8/13/2007
Status: offline 		Lol...see, a guy says something like that, and you check his profile and find out he's a Fitness Fanatic.

Phoo.  What a tease. 

_____________________________

"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-- Robert A. Heinlein

(in reply to kinkbound)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 3/8/2008 10:30:45 AM   
saret


Posts: 71
Joined: 4/27/2005
Status: offline 		OMG me too. Even now, the more I want from someone - and the attracted I am to them - the more nervous I am.

Also, when Im not being a Bitch (tm) I'm a pretty nice person, so I have this awful habit of actually caring what people think and feel.

(in reply to kinkbound)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 3/8/2008 10:44:43 AM   
idroolchicksrule


Posts: 64
Joined: 4/6/2007
Status: offline 		trust me we are just as nervous if not more than you could ever dream of being....

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 3/8/2008 12:03:30 PM   
angelbluewingsz


Posts: 324
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		talking to a sub has never made me nervous but I must admit once or twice a truly viscious individual dom has made me have second thoughts about going someplace with them alone. I think at that point it is a matter of trust. if you couldn't completly trust that person not to bury you in the desert somewhere if you got out of hand then don't go.... but if is all in the name of fun and maybe someone you do trust can be there, even in the next room wacking off then I am all good.... I am a bit of a masochist though and don't even whimper so as far as doms who like to hear you scream I am not much fun and they usually don't come back to play anymore... what i am saying is , everyone has a different button, find yours and find someone who is compatable... good dirty fun will be had by all!

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 3/8/2008 12:58:20 PM   
kinkbound


Posts: 387
Joined: 9/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShaktiSama

Lol...see, a guy says something like that, and you check his profile and find out he's a Fitness Fanatic.

Phoo.  What a tease. 


Heh heh heh; it works every time.   

(in reply to ShaktiSama)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 3/9/2008 3:08:13 AM   
SciFiGal


Posts: 9
Joined: 6/22/2006
From: San Diego, CA
Status: offline 		KindLadyGrey, I appreciate you posting this thread. I am also 26 (what a coinkidink) and I have always considered myself shy though alot of people would be surprised to hear me say that. I make a HUGE effort to put myself out there and defy my impulses to be a wallflower. Once I am playing though, the power washes over me and all those inhibitions melt away.

I am still pretty new to being dominant and I had a much more experienced sub stay with me for a couple of weeks. It did take me some time to get comfortable with him, but I was honest about it and that helped alot b/c we sort of saw it as a vacation period where I could learn as much as I could without any worries about how I am presenting myself, or if I'm establishing my authority the right way, etc. It was a very low pressure sort of situation since we both knew he'd be heading back across the Pacific Ocean shortly. That helped alot. In general, I agree with what some of the Mistresses before me said. The more you do it, the better you'll feel and the more those butterflies in your tummy will dissipate.

Does it ever go away? I have no clue because I am nowhere near getting there myself. Heh.

(in reply to KindLadyGrey)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 3/9/2008 9:38:40 AM   
MistressMonet2u


Posts: 24
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Let's see if I can remember ....hmmmm...lol.

Honestly, when I was newer to the lifestyle I had a lot of expectation when I met someone new, tons of hope and wishing that this one would be a good match.  But with time comes experience and it changes your mind about a lot of things at this point I'm just hoping the person will be sane enough to carry on a coherent conversation, have good manners and the ability to laugh at him or herself.  We are ALL human and life is very fleeting, laughter and fun are what makes it all worthwhile...relax and take it as it comes.

-=M


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"Tonight livin' in a fantasy my own little nasty world...tonight don't cha wanna me, do you think I'm a nasty girl..." -=Vanity6=-

(in reply to SciFiGal)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 5/29/2008 5:31:47 PM   
submissiveboy76


Posts: 37
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline 		I was nervous at first as a sub and over the years I noticed that I've become a lot more comfortable with my submissiveness and a lot more confident in the scene.  I'm not out to friends or family, but I have no problem around like-minded individuals knowing my place.

I think that it takes time to overcome inhibitions and learn the psychology of it all.  Every step though, is a step forward, because it's all learning.  The more experience, the better we all become in our respective roles, right?

(in reply to SciFiGal)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 5/30/2008 1:26:15 AM   
SephandElena


Posts: 52
Joined: 4/7/2008
Status: offline 		I'm usually nervous meeting anyone for the first time to be honest, although I like to think that when it actually comes down to it, that they would probably not guess.

As for them having more experience, it's almost irrelevant really. As far as experience goes, they have the same amount of experience with you as you have with them. Every person is different, and yes more experience in the general lifestyle is nice to have, but as a lot of people on these boards seem to know, everyone does things slightly (or even a lot) differently to everyone else.

If you go to the meeting with the realisation that they are quite possibly as nervous as you are (give or take a couple of margins here and there), you'll find things won't be as bad as you are fearing.

Well, just my two pence there.

Seph aka Reb.

(in reply to submissiveboy76)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 5/30/2008 1:39:06 AM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline 		I'm very outgoing and don't really suffer from nervous feelings very often. I find I'm usually spending most of the time soothing the subs nerves, lol. I think for most people it is natural to get butterflies when meeting someone new, especially someone that you may be starting a relationship with or someone that you want to impress. I think it's very healthy to feel a little nervous, it makes one more alert to signals given by the other person, so makes them easier to understand.

Anyway, those tingles are kinda nice, don't you think?

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if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to SephandElena)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do you ever get a little nervous. . . - 5/30/2008 3:28:03 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		Yes I get a few butterflies ... and I talk ... a lot LOL! I have been talking with a sub online for ages now, he is trying hard to get a break in his schedule to come and visit here (it's over 1000km so not something to do on a weekend, not that he gets a weekend as a pilot). he has been reluctant to speak on the phone though, and when I asked why, he said he knew he'd be terribly nervous and didn't want to say something stupid that would make Me think he's a fool. Master just cracked up laughing when He read that and said "he must be a fool if he thinks he's going to get a word in edgeways with you pet!" Ah-hmm ... well, Master does have a valid point there LOL! However, as has been said by someone else, it's not the level of expertise or experience that makes Me nervous, it's entirely proportional to how "important" I think the relationship might potentially be to Me. If I already know the most they could be is a casual play partner ... cool ... if I am considering them to be a potential 24/7 sub ... "the one??" ... nerves plus!
KindLadyGrey ... hang in there, realise most if not all of Us get the odd nervous moment ... and just meet experienced subs with the attitude that hopefully you can learn something from this encounter. Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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Life is a song ... and I love singing it! (By me!)

(in reply to MissMagnolia)
Profile   Post #: 33
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