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RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/1/2008 2:50:26 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

I always compare sub space to orgasm. Some can, some cannot and some never will. The more you fret it, the more likely it is that you won't be relazed enough to experience it. It doesn't makes anyone less submissive because you cannot reach it and it isn't a failiure.

the.dark.

_____________________________

RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to CharmedAnne)

Post #: 21

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/1/2008 7:02:36 AM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
Status: offline

I'm another s-type who has never experienced subspace, at least not in the way that it's typically described. I've been known to lose track of time while playing, but that's really about it. Quite honestly, I wouldn't have it any other way. I want to be alert and focused while I'm suffering under my Mistress' flogger, the better to appreciate and reflect on the experience as it unfolds. Slipping off into some alternative state of consciousness would just spoil the fun.

I'm sure that this attitude simply reflects my basic personality and the way my mind functions in general. I don't get "carried away" by music, my attempts to do yoga were frustrated by an inability to achieve anything like a blank mental slate, and even in the throes of orgasm I usually (not always) remain perfectly coherent and clear-minded. No one has ever tried to hypnotise me, but I'm almost positive I'd be a disappointing subject for this. By comparison, a lot of people seem to like to drift off to other mental planes practically at the drop of a hat. More power to them, of course, but it really wouldn't work for me.

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 22

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/2/2008 9:07:30 AM

friendsonlyFL

Posts: 9
Joined: 8/28/2008
Status: offline

I never feel subspace. I also don't get sexual enjoyment out of pain. However, I am a masochist and I only want to play with extreme amounts of pain. I am not interested in sensual play at all.

I do think for someone else to say you aren't the "type" is very wrong. There is no way for someone to judge what the "type" is or not.

I have watched girls cum from being single-tailed and it is amazing to me. I have never felt that... I wish I could but I feel every single stroke and it hurts like hell. But the more pain the better.

(in reply to aravain)

Post #: 23

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/2/2008 11:04:53 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
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It all depends on who you are with and the type of play you are doing. The more relaxed state you are in the better chance of it happening. Take your time and make love to the whole person. There are to many clueless rabbits on here.

(in reply to friendsonlyFL)

Post #: 24

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/3/2008 8:14:56 AM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
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After years of believing that they only way i could get endorphins to work for me. After being told that i wasn't the type to go to subspace. For years i didn't go. Now that i am with One that not only wants to take me there but knows how to take me there, i go regularly. We are learning the things that keep me in the here and now and the things that send me flying.

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 25

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/3/2008 11:47:46 AM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

The toughest thing to do is reach a forced sub space . You can not fly until you let go , if you have it running through your head is that it - was that it ? am i there yet ? how and when / ooh was that it ? i think i just had some ,wait or is this sub space ? am i fly'n now ? Nope your not there yet ..

(in reply to liljoy)

Post #: 26

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/3/2008 7:48:55 PM

MistressDollys

Posts: 47
Joined: 1/8/2008
Status: offline

By reaching sub space do you mean getting the endorphin high that comes with being spanked or flogged, etc? Or are you talking about being in the sub space that comes with dedicating yourself to another? To me they are different. i used to be all about the former and actively searched it out as often as possible. If i could i would play with anyone just to get that high. But then i met a very special Mistress who taught me all about the sub space that comes from living for Her pleasure. It is the most amazing thing in the world to think, sleep, live and breathe with only one desire; that of Mistresses pleasure.

That is true sub space because the later is more fulfilling than the former could ever be for me.

mule. no2

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

humbled males

(in reply to CharmedAnne)

Post #: 27

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/3/2008 8:38:16 PM

aravain

Posts: 1211
Joined: 8/26/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDollys
That is true sub space because the later is more fulfilling than the former could ever be for me.

You forgot to include "in my opinion" in there...

I'm quite the opposite. I don't get into *any* sort of sub space by devoting myself to someone else's pleasure 24/7. I get really annoyed when a partnership isn't equal, outside the bedroom. It doesn't do anything for me.

No, but I do agree that there's more than one type of sub space. There's definitely the endorphin high... but I don't really count that as one, though it is wonderful.

There's a sub-space that you hit in a completely unsexual way where you just... give in. They're hitting you and hitting you and the only thing that you can think is "please... more..." For me this usually hits in toward the beginning, before the endorphins (which I can clearly feel). Usually the second thwack of a paddle/hand, or even the first of a sharper or more stingey toy (like a flogger).

The second is entirely sexual. THIS is the type of sub space that I get that lets me call myself a sub, in my opinion. It's when the dominant takes control, and does so to an extent that I lose myself and the only thing I can think about is pleasing him, wanting to make him practically explode... it's hard to put into exact words.

*shrug* each person is different, even if it's only remotely :)

(in reply to MistressDollys)

Post #: 28

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/4/2008 3:54:43 PM

AnakaSilk

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/4/2008
Status: offline

Wow, do I feel better now. I enjoy the play, relax in the bonds, savor the spanks. But drift off inside myself? Nope. I thought 'subspace' was something all 'good' subs were supposed to reach, or we simply weren't trying hard enough. Seeing that I'm not the only sub out there with this mindset/concern is terribly refreshing.

Master is pleased, I love to please him. I am not my Vanilla self when we are in play. I guess that's my space.

(in reply to aravain)

Post #: 29

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/4/2008 8:29:29 PM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

After reading this thread its helped me a great deal put into words something I felt my very first scene. I never thought it could have been subspace, but it sounds like it. Wow..

(in reply to AnakaSilk)

Post #: 30

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/7/2008 10:47:26 PM

djaleksandr

Posts: 203
Joined: 3/10/2008
Status: offline

Never been there. I find bottoming play tends to give me the exact opposite effect -- I become more aware of my surroundings, of my body, of my thoughts and feelings. More of a hyper-sharpness than a narcotic dreamland. But who knows, it might happen! Either way, I enjoy myself. :)

_____________________________

'is simplicity best, or simply the easiest?
the narrowest path is always the holiest.
so walk on barefoot for me,
suffer some misery,
if you want my love.'
[ depechemode judas ]

(in reply to aravain)

Post #: 31

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/8/2008 9:47:15 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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~Fast reply

Reading some of the posts in this thread about how some submissives/bottoms (pick your label) have received the perception that they are some how less because they have difficulty or cannot reach subspace really disgusts me. To me this stuff is supposed to be fun and the idea that this is some kind of competition or some goal that must be reached before you are 'good enough' just really pisses me off. Please don't allow someone else to make you feel less because you have not measured up to their ideal of what you should be.

I have recently started reading a book on being an introvert. I am one of those rare people who is on the extreme end of the introversion/extroversion continuum. A study has mapped the blood flow in the brain of extroverts and introverts and found that it is very different. The blood flow in an extrovert goes to the part of the brain that is focused on external stimulii and in an introvert is flows to the part of the brain that focuses on internal reflection.

When I play, one of the hardest things for me to do is shut my brain off and just feel. It is difficult for me to shut my brain off in a lot of circumstances, but it is most obvious to me in play. The fastest way for me to reach subspace is for him to do abrasion play on me. When he gets up close and I can feel him all along my body and he fires up the nerve endings in my skin by using something rough and scratchy, it overwhelms my senses and it is like a switch shutting down my brain. My brain can't handle the stimulus and just shuts off and I am gone.

One of the fastest ways for him to get me out of subspace or to keep me from going there is to make me think or focus. Because of my own experiences, I have to wonder how many of the bottoms that struggle to reach subspace are introverted and how many who fall so easily into it are extroverted? Does the path that the blood flow naturally takes in the brain make it easier or harder to reach subspace? Unfortunately, I do not have the knowledge or skills needed for neurological studies, but I am sure that one day science will be open enough to study some of this stuff in depth.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to djaleksandr)

Post #: 32

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/8/2008 12:44:24 PM

Wheldrake

Posts: 477
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
One of the fastest ways for him to get me out of subspace or to keep me from going there is to make me think or focus. Because of my own experiences, I have to wonder how many of the bottoms that struggle to reach subspace are introverted and how many who fall so easily into it are extroverted? Does the path that the blood flow naturally takes in the brain make it easier or harder to reach subspace? Unfortunately, I do not have the knowledge or skills needed for neurological studies, but I am sure that one day science will be open enough to study some of this stuff in depth.

Knight's Kyra

To provide you with a data point, I'm not at all prone to subspace, and I'd consider myself introverted. I do think it's highly plausible that the two are linked, although I don't know much about the psychology of introversion vs. extroversion. And yes, neurological studies would definitely be worthwhile and interesting. I'm sure the white-coated lab assistants would be very calm and professional as they applied the electrodes, buckled restraints around the experimental subject's wrists and ankles, and then took up their positions so that one could look after the recording equipment while the other wielded the flogger...

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 33

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/9/2008 12:06:35 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I'm an introvert and I need very specific things to float. First, sensory deprivation, I need a blindfold, comfortable gag, and bondage that doesn't hurt. Then I need sensations that occur fast enough so I just start feeling and stop thinking, but not at a level that I will read them as severely painful. And I need not to be asked questions or talked to in the beginning. If there's music it can't have vocals or I will pay attention to the words.

If given what I need, I float. If he wants me focused on him, he knows what I need to stay there.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Wheldrake)

Post #: 34

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/16/2008 11:56:27 AM

Alfonzo

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/26/2006
Status: offline

women can orgasm eating chocolate? man that is lucky

(in reply to aravain)

Post #: 35

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/16/2008 1:20:19 PM

StrictMaster979

Posts: 23
Joined: 1/19/2008
Status: offline

Subspace is not something to strive for, it just happens. It happens when a sub gives all she has over to her Dom/Domme. Some can not reach it because they havent given all into the hands of their Dom/Domme, perhaps holding back just a corner of themselves. This is quite understandable because not all who call themselves dom/mes are in fact that, and some dont want to be hurt by someone who is not authentic. Others think that it is important to keep every spank or clamp or bound item to themselves, to not let out their emotions thinking this will please their dom/mes. I allways prefer to hear about things that hurt that sting that feel, and actually get a hi from it, but then that probably makes me who I am.

(in reply to Alfonzo)

Post #: 36

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/17/2008 2:28:39 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrictMaster979

Subspace is not something to strive for, it just happens. It happens when a sub gives all she has over to her Dom/Domme. Some can not reach it because they havent given all into the hands of their Dom/Domme, perhaps holding back just a corner of themselves. This is quite understandable because not all who call themselves dom/mes are in fact that, and some dont want to be hurt by someone who is not authentic. Others think that it is important to keep every spank or clamp or bound item to themselves, to not let out their emotions thinking this will please their dom/mes. I allways prefer to hear about things that hurt that sting that feel, and actually get a hi from it, but then that probably makes me who I am.

While I appreciate the nature of this post it somewhat reminds me of cult religions that preach if you only have enough faith or keep from sin, you can deflect all evil including sickness or death and then when the person gets sick the cult leaders declare it's because they didn't have enough faith, if they indeed die from their illness that they must have had some secret sin. Saying that anyone and everyone can reach subspace and if they don't it's just because they didn't surrender is kinda like that. In my opinion it's telling me I'm not good enough, not slave enough, don't surrender enough or that my Master isn't real. Tsk tsk.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to StrictMaster979)

Post #: 37

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/17/2008 9:04:12 AM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

I love it when old threads come forward and have great discussion !!

Subspace is as intimate an expereince as an individual has personality, IMHO.

Sir and I were discussing an email I had received from another femsub as she had questions about supspace. I responded, I think only once do I remember such a thing...I described it to her.

He was great... he corrected me and said I have "subspace" alot. We discussed what our thoughts were on subspace and domspace.

I never anticipate, crave or sense what HE calls subspace ... but he
knows, altho I may not.

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 38

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/17/2008 9:49:11 AM

vield

Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

My opinion is that what I call subspace, or domspace is what someone else might call trance, or flying , or an out of body experience. It may involve an "other life" experience too in a prolonged scene with the right person.

For me it may be very orgasmic, whether or not I am having orgasms.

If I am the sub or bottom and dominants are working on me, I may go beyond the ability to speak, or even beyond the ability to feel. At that point if I am getting a form of impact play, any more applied to me is a waste of time, I do not feel it.

There has to be deep trust to get to this sort of place for me, and there also needs to be serious caring, a good emotional tie with at least one of the people working on me.

This sort of flying can take place when I am taken through many different sorts of experiences, including talking on the phone to a loved one, heavy pain, deep prolonged sensuality, or many multiple orgasms. It can also happen when I am pleasing a woman to the point where she is flying, whether she is in charge of me or she is someone I am "made" to please, Domme or sub.

There does seem to be an element of energy involved, which for me is related to transcendental meditation and to energetic healing such as Reiki. Opening my chakras and feeling the energy of the universe and of my partners flow through me is one step that often leads to subspace for me. It is a very deep and full surrender.

As the dominant I need to keep focused and to NOT allow myself to float and fly as I melt down a partner, unless someone else is helping with the scene and has control. This actually could be an experienced submissive who holds back from flying as well as a dominant.

Most often when I dominate, my "flying" or trancing happens during aftercare, when I am bringing my partners back to reality and helping them cope. Often if we are just doing sexual play, melting the sub down far deeper than she thinks she can go is a "flying" experience for me, whether or not Mr. Kinsey's recording devices would show me having orgasms.

LOL I am lucky, my sub melts and orgasms and flies from sooo many things from caning to hot talk to paddles to any sort of nipple play. It is kind of like operating a radio controlled airplane to take her flying, only Much hotter!

_____________________________

As always, your mileage may vary!

vield

(in reply to aravain)

Post #: 39

RE: Impossiable to reach sub space. - 9/17/2008 7:00:01 PM

Worldly1

Posts: 37
Joined: 8/20/2008
Status: offline

I have had partners reach sub space, and others who haven't, even though my techniques with all may have been similar.

I have had partners who reached sub space one time, but not another.

I think that most can get there, whether it takes them 10 years or 10 minutes.

Don't give it any more thought, and just go with the moment.

(in reply to CharmedAnne)

Post #: 40

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