"The Needs of a Slave"

"The Needs of a Slave" (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

wordstoponder -> "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 4:31:06 PM)
Was just browsing my bookmarks of Lifestyle links and stumbled upon this list of thought-provoking "needs". You can access the website here: http://www.esodom.com/quarters/slaveneeds.htm. I feel that this list of needs is important for everyone in the Lifestyle to keep in their mind, whether slave or submissive, dominant or Master. The need for unconditional love and acceptance. The need for certainty and permanence. The need for discipline in every sense of the word. (What is every sense of the word? I don't understand) The need to have the little and scared girl whom you are recognized and accepted and loved for herself. The need for containment and clear boundaries of behavior. The need for consistent and logical consequences for behavior. The need to feel open and unembarrassed gratitude. The need for careful guidance. The need to know that you are not in control and cannot successfully manipulate your owner. (I feel that this is important for me because there are times when I have crazy depressive episodes and attempt to manipulate the Man I'm with, and instead of caving in, I need Him to remain in control and to put me in my place) The need to serve your owner. (Is this a "need" or is it only a strong desire?) The need for your owner to appreciate and to support your enthusiasms wherever he thinks that they should be supported. (In other words, the Owner needs to encourage the "slave" (submissive, whatever) to pursue their interests and passions, whether or not they are within their own personal interests) The need to know that your service pleases your owner emotionally and practically and sexually. The need to know that you are neither required nor permitted to try to dominate yourself and that your owner will provide the force to take you and to own you. (I have issues with this particular point. A submissive/slave should be able to take care of herself, whether or not she/he is owned) The need to be certain that your owner will not withdraw from you emotionally. The need to be completely opened up and naked before your owner and to know that you will never be permitted to hide. The need to be certain that your owner does not lie to you and does not hide from you. The need to be tiny and safe at your owner's feet. (The "need" to be tiny?) The need to feel overwhelmed by your owner. (Overwhelmed, how?) The need to know that your owner does not fear you in any way and that he does not edit his requirements of you so as to be limited to only those things that you already want to do. The need to know that your owner will make you face the hard things and not let you run away from them but that he will handle the things that you simply cannot. (Very important!) The need to be stroked and reassured and praised but never in a pandering way. The need to be as sure of your owner's benevolence as you are of his ownership of you. The need to know with certainty that your owner takes great joy and derives enormous satisfaction from owning you and using you.

IrishMist -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 4:36:36 PM)
You are joking right? For me...this list is nothing but rubbish...you want to follow it, fine...do so...but no thank you.

Kalista07 -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 4:41:08 PM)
DAMN IT!!!!! i knew it....i just knew eventually You would all figure out that i'm not a "twue" slave!!!!! grrrs because i can't insert that blue crying face Kali

womyn -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 4:47:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wordstoponder Was just browsing my bookmarks of Lifestyle links and stumbled upon this list of thought-provoking "needs". You can access the website here: http://www.esodom.com/quarters/slaveneeds.htm. I feel that this list of needs is important for everyone in the Lifestyle to keep in their mind, whether slave or submissive, dominant or Master. The need for unconditional love and acceptance. The need for certainty and permanence. The need for discipline in every sense of the word. (What is every sense of the word? I don't understand) The need to have the little and scared girl whom you are recognized and accepted and loved for herself. The need for containment and clear boundaries of behavior. The need for consistent and logical consequences for behavior. The need to feel open and unembarrassed gratitude. The need for careful guidance. The need to know that you are not in control and cannot successfully manipulate your owner. (I feel that this is important for me because there are times when I have crazy depressive episodes and attempt to manipulate the Man I'm with, and instead of caving in, I need Him to remain in control and to put me in my place) The need to serve your owner. (Is this a "need" or is it only a strong desire?) The need for your owner to appreciate and to support your enthusiasms wherever he thinks that they should be supported. (In other words, the Owner needs to encourage the "slave" (submissive, whatever) to pursue their interests and passions, whether or not they are within their own personal interests) The need to know that your service pleases your owner emotionally and practically and sexually. The need to know that you are neither required nor permitted to try to dominate yourself and that your owner will provide the force to take you and to own you. (I have issues with this particular point. A submissive/slave should be able to take care of herself, whether or not she/he is owned) The need to be certain that your owner will not withdraw from you emotionally. The need to be completely opened up and naked before your owner and to know that you will never be permitted to hide. The need to be certain that your owner does not lie to you and does not hide from you. The need to be tiny and safe at your owner's feet. (The "need" to be tiny?) The need to feel overwhelmed by your owner. (Overwhelmed, how?) The need to know that your owner does not fear you in any way and that he does not edit his requirements of you so as to be limited to only those things that you already want to do. The need to know that your owner will make you face the hard things and not let you run away from them but that he will handle the things that you simply cannot. (Very important!) The need to be stroked and reassured and praised but never in a pandering way. The need to be as sure of your owner's benevolence as you are of his ownership of you. The need to know with certainty that your owner takes great joy and derives enormous satisfaction from owning you and using you. Wow, that's really beautiful! It makes me sad and wistful because I don't know if I'll ever have that in my life!

LadyHathor -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 4:48:37 PM)
*geesus ladies, someone pee in your wheaties today??* *Sure may not be for you but a new poster, expressing THEIR opinion--and asking some reality check questions.*

IrishMist -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 4:50:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHathor *geesus ladies, someone pee in your wheaties today??* *Sure may not be for you but a new poster, expressing THEIR opinion--and asking some reality check questions.* Oh well...life goes on, even when I am reprimanded [:o]

womyn -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 4:50:33 PM)
well there's always dark chocolate...guaranteed to give you that lift...mmmmm

MsIncontrol -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 4:52:31 PM)
This list like any other list (128 rules of submission, 8 rules of domination, 12 million ways to piss off your domme) only is pertinent to the person who wrote it. My rules or the needs of my slave and every other person in the lifestyle can be and are surely not the same. I think it is best to do a lot of self discovery and find out what YOUR needs are, what your owners wants and wishes are...and not worry about someone else's idea of their slave needs.

Kalista07 -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 5:19:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHathor *geesus ladies, someone pee in your wheaties today??* *Sure may not be for you but a new poster, expressing THEIR opinion--and asking some reality check questions.* LadyHathor, No offense intended but perhaps i missed the portion of the OP where she expressed her questions. i did read her rhetorical questions of herself... But, perhaps i'm just blind today....Or perhaps the urine in my wheaties has clouded my judgement.

LadyHathor -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 5:25:33 PM)
[8D] *tomorrow we will all switch to shredded wheat!* *LOL*

DiurnalVampire -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 5:30:33 PM)
The list is a lovely way to begin your idea, but to use as an end all be all it is not relavent. EVeryone develops their own needs as the relationships mature. DV

celticlord2112 -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 5:41:44 PM)
I don't recall seeing those needs on Maslow's heirarchy....

MstrTiger -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 5:44:27 PM)
I really do hate random lists like that one, I don’t think it is of any real use to anyone. I prefer straight forward advice to airy floaty drivel.

ownedgirlie -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 5:45:34 PM)
I usually don't like lists like these, but...I kinda liked this one! Not everything on it applied to me but a lot did, surprisingly enough. Of course, creating a relationship of any kind takes a lot more effort that creating a list, but for some reason this one reasonated with me. Must be my mood...or my flu. [8D]

RedMagic1 -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 5:54:45 PM)
Yeah, this has the feel of coming from the complex research process called "making it up." I'm certainly not looking for an s-type who has a "need" to feel tiny. I want someone ten feet tall, who will become even bigger and better because she is with me. WordsToPonder, if you're interested in exploring what people think who identify themselves as slaves, I suggest you lsiten to people who are (or have been) in real-world slave relationships. The web site you reference has, among other things, a prominent essay that says "slaves have no rights" -- leading me to believe the entire site is wankeristic.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 6:01:14 PM)
I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well?

DefiantFlower -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 6:02:41 PM)
Even the most pragmatic of people do not choose lovers or partners based entirely on a list such as this. I don't think the OP intended for it to be interpretted that way. It could maybe be useful to a submissive who feels a need is not being met but can't quite figure out what that need is or how to express it. Reading what other people feel they "need" to be fulfilled in slavery might help, so they can more effectively communicate the problem to their SO. Anyhoo...just a thought.

dcnovice -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 6:09:17 PM)
quote: I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well? Well, if they both want to sit at each other's feet, they could save a bundle on furniture.

candisa -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 6:21:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I wonder how many subs who would embrace a dominant who said he/she needed all of those things as well? greetings, LuckyAlbatross speaking for myself only, If the dominant is the one so needy, I would hardly feel like dropping to his feet, I could hardly see him in a dominanting manner.

BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: "The Needs of a Slave" (2/27/2008 6:21:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie I usually don't like lists like these, but...I kinda liked this one! Not everything on it applied to me but a lot did, surprisingly enough. Of course, creating a relationship of any kind takes a lot more effort that creating a list, but for some reason this one reasonated with me. Must be my mood...or my flu. [8D] sprays owned's post with Lysol [;)] Gonna hafta agree with owned on this one except for the flu part. And to add to that I'd say that some things may not be considered "needs" so much as things that would/have made me happier and more fulfilled in my relationship. [:)]

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

4.785156E-02