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bdsm - 2/29/2008 9:47:53 AM   
prinssesgabby


Posts: 1
Joined: 2/28/2008
Status: offline 		how do i get my husband in to this i love it and he is like a vergin all around
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 9:54:17 AM   
LordVelvet


Posts: 311
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline 		Hand him a flogger and bend over?

LordVelvet

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RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 9:55:06 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Have you tried asking him about it?

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LordVelvet)
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RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 10:00:43 AM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline 		Maybe start off a convo with the words "Wouldnt it be hot if..."  "I fantasized about you and I doing..."  or "What do you think about trying..."

If he seems interested, you and him should perhaps come here and search the forums for specific topics of things you wanna get into.  Good luck!


_____________________________

Hibbie's Hottie

The next time you think I give a fuck, remember the 3 F's... Unless you are Feeding me, Financing me, or Fucking me, I don't give a fuck!!

"Kyttyn: The Other White Meat!" - DRH

10 Miles of Hot Chocolate Lovin'.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 10:01:06 AM   
Owner4SexSlave


Posts: 1311
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		Good old fashioned communication and seduction works pretty good together...

I'm with LordVelvet on this one... pass him a flogger and bendover.  Ok, well it does not have to be a flogger.   Just basically get some things together to try out, and present yourself sexually to him while you are presenting the activitity. 

Perhaps hint around about how much it turns you on at the thought of him spanking you or pulling your hair or whatever else...  hahaha...

(in reply to prinssesgabby)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 10:23:24 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: prinssesgabby

how do i get my husband in to this i love it and he is like a vergin all around


The quesiton I would be asking...  Why did I marry him in the first place???

BadOne

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RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 10:38:48 AM   
domahpet


Posts: 1505
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Santa Rosa
Status: offline 		 i agree with the sailingbum
this is a conversation you should have had
before the wedding.
but since its too late for that,
id try Kyttyns advice as a start

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RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 11:05:08 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You have every right to want this.

He has every right not to.

You need to ask yourself if you need this enough to leave him if he says no fucking way. Make all your decisions beforehand. Then ask him if he's ever thought about spanking you, or you spanking him, or anything else that strikes your fancy. But you need to respect his decisions and his desires. Because he never pretended to love you the way you are while actually wanting you to be someone else. You're the one who did that to him. He's been aboveboard with you from the beginning, while you've been withholding the truth, lying about what you want.

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RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 11:19:19 AM   
Hotch


Posts: 267
Joined: 5/13/2004
Status: offline 		Sit down with him at the table, have a glass of milk in front of you.  Tell him you've been a bad girl and deserve a spanking.  If he asks what you've done, tip over the milk and say "I've spilt the milk".  Hopefully he will see the playfulness in it and understand where you're coming from.  If not, re-read BadOne's post.

< Message edited by Hotch -- 2/29/2008 11:20:47 AM >

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RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 11:21:23 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline 		If he is still virgin like..then ..bdsm might be a big step

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RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 11:28:05 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Paraphrasing Dan Savage: "Honey, I want to make a deal with you.  Bend me over and spank me as hard as you can, for a long time.  If you do that, I will fuck your brains out."

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 12:00:32 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		FR~

What do you love about it? Power exchange? Kinky sex? I would encourage you to understand that first, if you don't already know. Does your relationship right now include any D/s or is it pretty egalitarian? Most are assuming you are submissive, is that right? (I didn't perv your profile.)
If so, it seems to me it might be a little bit heavy handed to ask him to spank or flog you right out of the gate, so to speak. How would you feel about watching a movie like "The Secretary" with him and then talk about it? Tell him how much it turns you on, but also ask many questions such as if he has ever fantasized about those activities, which ones, what would he like to try?

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RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 12:09:46 PM   
BlackPhx


Posts: 3432
Joined: 11/8/2006
Status: offline 		Set a lovely dinner, mood music, soft lights.
Talk about what you like and love about BDSM.
Give him a beautifully wrapped box with the following inside:
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon
SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
A silk scarf or two

The books are available from Amazon.com

You might find he is very receptive to it, but just doesn't know how to start.

poenkitten

(in reply to prinssesgabby)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 1:05:36 PM   
BeachMystress


Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domahpet
this is a conversation you should have had
before the wedding.


Not everyone discovers their interest in BDSM prior to being married. Many come to it after they've been married for years.

As to how to get your husband into it without having him possibly think you're a freak.. go slowly. Start perhaps by having the tie for your robe or some pantyhose next to the bed. Have a few drinks or such before bed (to lower his inhibitions.. and no, I do not think alcohol in "real" play is acceptable but this is more just regular sex with a small twist) and then laughingly suggest using the tie/panty hose to tie you up. You need to react in a very positive manner both in bed that night and the day after. The next day, call him at work and tell him you can't stop thinking about how good it was the night before. Be very amorous when he comes home. You want to provide positive reinforcements to his use of tying. Suggest it again in a few days while you're both sober. Again, afterwards you have to make with the positive reinforcements. Most people find this mildly kinky rather than thinking of it as a path to BDSM. After a few times of him responding positively to tying you up it is time to ask for a bit more.  You may want to have some props in the form of one of the "lovers enhancement" kits or a cute paddle or "tickle" flogger on hand. (such as http://www.edenfantasys.com/ROMANTIC-RESTRAINT-KIT/adult-toys-dvds-15883
http://www.edenfantasys.com/PASSION-PLAY/adult-toys-dvds-15226
http://www.edenfantasys.com/sexy-slave-kit-/adult-toys-dvds-21972
http://www.edenfantasys.com/BACHELORETTE-TIE-THE-KNOT-KIT/adult-toys-dvds-15952 )
and perhaps a "fun" paddle or spanking strap like
http://pacificforce.net/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=PF&Product_Code=HEARTPADDLE&Category_Code=IMP wood
http://www.aswgt.com/sweetspots.html ON SALE for $20 due to Valentines day.. regular $45. leather
http://secure.rosybottom.com/product_info.php?cPath=24&products_id=76
http://secure.rosybottom.com/product_info.php?cPath=24&products_id=79
Stick with "cute" stuff. Don't get anything that could be seen as hard core. If you want a "flogger" go for something like
http://stockroom.com/Leather-TicklerWhip-P619.aspx
http://stockroom.com/Fine-Rubber-TicklerWhip-P616.aspx
Do not overwhelm him. When you get the toy or toys, talk with him about how excited being tied up made you. Tell him you thought it would be fun to try a little bit more. You're leading him step by little step. Too much at once may send him running. After he's accepted the lovers game type toys for a bit, bookmark some of the websites on BDSM for him and get him a book, such as The (New and Improved) Loving Dominant
by John Warren http://www.amazon.com/New-Improved-Loving-Dominant/dp/1890159727/ref=sr_1_1/002-2925145-4676840?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204318366&sr=8-1 You're now ready for the "big talk." Tell him how much you enjoy the "games" you've been playing and that you'd like to do a bit more. Show him the websites you find interesting. Some erotic stories would be good. Go from there! Don't be too impatient getting to this step, but don't drag your feet either. Most men are way more enthusiastic about sex than women. (And since we know how enthusiastic WE are, think how much they want it! lol) Several people I know have done this and now have at least "bedroom BDSM" as part of their lives. None of them have progressed to outside the bedroom yet, but one of them is close. It can be done! You can bring a "nilla" spouse "into the fold." Good luck and have fun!



_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

(in reply to domahpet)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 4:38:26 PM   
MsStarlett


Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline 		Let him read this site over your shoulder.  Seems to be doing WONDERS for my husband!  While there is no way in hell he's ever going to allow me to strike him or put anything up his ass... He's learning the joys of foot worship and actually wants to build me a Queening Throne (oral sex chair) and volenteered to get under it while I put my high healed shoes on his chest.  He's also buying me leather corsets and looking at new dildos for me.  Baby steps, baby!

While so many are asking "Why did you get married?"  Maybe after a 20 years... you just want a little more spice.  ;)

(in reply to BeachMystress)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 4:42:46 PM   
faerytattoodgirl


Posts: 5824
Status: offline 		tell him you would bring in a 2nd girl like many other couples on here and he'll be sooooooooo happy and into it.

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I did not reply to your cmail.
I am flawed.
Imperfect.
MUST SPANK!!!
SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 5:27:10 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlackPhx

Set a lovely dinner, mood music, soft lights.
Talk about what you like and love about BDSM.
Give him a beautifully wrapped box with the following inside:
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon
SM 101: A Realistic Introduction by Jay Wiseman
A silk scarf or two

The books are available from Amazon.com

You might find he is very receptive to it, but just doesn't know how to start.

poenkitten


Actually, I think I would suggest "When Someone You Love Is Kinky".


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BlackPhx)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 6:33:41 PM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		I so agree Lady Pact .. 

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 9:38:44 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		You might try going shopping together and point out some toys and bondage gear you would like to try and some bondage videos to rent.  Start by telling him you just want to spice things up a little. Good luck with it.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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Profile   Post #: 19
RE: bdsm - 2/29/2008 10:15:30 PM   
RopesOverCuffs


Posts: 9
Joined: 2/20/2008
Status: offline 		Not everyone is into sharing their subs or needs more then 1*shrugs*


Anyways You should simply tell him your interests about this life style, if he loves you he'll at the very least try it with you...curious if you're both married why is he still a "virgin" >.> thats just mean lol

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)
Profile   Post #: 20
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